advice please

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
B

blessedsomuch

Guest
#1
#1
My 18 year old Christian daughter has this ex boyfriend she broke up with 15 months ago and he has had a new CHRISTIAN girlfriend for the past 8 months .
My daughter has an amazing Christian boyfriend long distance now thats shes been a committed relationship for over two months .
My daughter recently graduated high school and her ex boyfriend has been texting her a few times a week to read certain bible verses and then they express how they feel about them . My daughter has no interest in getting back with her ex .He on the other hand was heart broken when she broke up with him and was his first love .
Her ex also said he's gonna start up a bible study to fit around her schedule .
I just don't understand why he is doing this .....my daughter is a very committed Christ follower now.
How should I advice my daughter? Should her ex go find guys to text about scripture instead of texting my daughter who has a boyfriend and is he dishonoring his girlfriend by texting his ex girlfriend?
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#2
#2
It's pretty obvious. He's trying to win her back.
And he needs to be told to hit the road because he's already showing bad signs. Advise your daughter to explain that (hopefully she'll agree with this line of thinking) his behavior is not appropriate. And not welcome. So as a result she needs to cut contact off with him, wish him well and end communication.
 
B

blessedsomuch

Guest
#3
#3
Thank you for the advice . I would hate for my daughter to lose the amazing guy shes with now . So should she tell him its really not appropriate to be texting when they are both in committed relationships even if it is to deepen their faith ? That she wants to be true to her boyfriend now ?
 
S

Spokenpassage

Guest
#4
#4
If she is currently with someone, he needs to back off immediately, especially as one who is a Christian. Now from what I'm hearing in your post, he is not exactly begging her to hook back up with him, but spend devotional time with her in scripture. Whatever motives they may be, whether he wants to get back with her or not, we still cannot assume something within the lines. However, if it is or becomes one that wants to try winning her back, he needs to back off.
 
S

Spokenpassage

Guest
#5
#5
blessedsomuch said:
Yes he is not asking her back but I think he is being sneaky about it .Trying to prove now hes a devoted Christian which he wasnt when they were together.
Click to expand...
I cannot speak for every guy. I currently am 18, my ex broke up with me last year, I did something similar but tried to avoid wanting her back. From my experience, them talking like this will tempt him to try winning her back. The advice from me is similar to what ugly said, she needs to cut off contact and no longer talk.
 
B

blessedsomuch

Guest
#6
#6
Thats great to know thank you so much . Nice to hear from someone too their age .
 
p_rehbein

p_rehbein

Senior Member
#7
Sep 4, 2013
30,196
6,539
113
#7
California has some fairly stringent "Stalking" Laws............might keep that in mind just in case..........when it comes to protecting ones child...........ALL THINGS should be considered........
 
J

jacorn

Guest
#8
#8
Life is full of amazements. Young love especially your first young love can be ver upsetting when one partner decides to finish that relationship. As a counsellor, it is clear that her ex is attempting to get her back by using what he thinks is the way to her heart. The bible. He appears to be using this to entice her back, to try to blackmail her into believing that he has changed and is using this to try to win her back. My concern would be that if she did fall for this, how long would it be before his true colours came out. Trying to please someone is good, but if you have alternative uses, then beware.
It looks like your daughter knows what she wants. Support her with her decision and don't try to dissuade her, but help her when she falls and support her when she is up.
Many times children will do the opposite to what their parents want them to do because of just that, so don't try to do this.
God will guide her, Ask God for guidance for yourself and you and she will be ok.
Blessings
 
N

Nocturnus

Guest
#9
#9
The problem with something like this is that so many variables come into play. It's easy to say you have no feelings for someone during a moment in time when you honestly don't think about them or are disatisfied or angry with them, yet down the road you start to wonder what might have been if you end up in a vicious cycle where relationships just don't seem to be working. As humans we're ever changing, ever learning new things and rediscovering old things, and sometimes that includes love we once thought was lost and came to realize we still had deep inside but have drowned out with new feelings and being around new people. Perhaps the best piece of advice I can offer at this point is one I have yet to see pop up in this topic, which is simply this; tell her to do what God is telling her to do. It's hard to know at times, which is why we pray extensively and ask others we can trust for prayer. God's will is of the greatest importance in this case, because our lives touch each other's in the most delicate ways, ways we cannot imagine.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.