advice

[graceandfaith]

I have been married for 12 years. I was lost when we got married and now By the grace of God found. It has been five years and I have grown spiritual and teach my youth class on Wed. nights. I have a almost 6 year old daughter that I have been rising up in church. The thing is my husband is not a christain and he was rised in the Cathical church. He tries to encourge our daughter not to go to church and especially my church because he does not like the people that go there. Now I go to a Bapists church. I pray for him everyday and night. My daughter ask why her daddy don't go to church and she goes to prayer with me and prays for him. She see him drink and prays in his face and hearing for him to quit drinking and going to church. He will not come to any church programs we have to watch his only child. This has caused alot of hard feeling between us all the time because we are very active in church. This made him mean worded with us. Is their anymore I can do but to continue to pray for him.His words are hurting his child when he push her away with ugly words.

 

[xTrishy]

Congratulation on finding God.

First things first, I think that it's very wrong that your husband is teaching your daughter not to go to Church. Unless, for some reason there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with the Church then he shouldn't be doing that. You should try talking to your husband, and telling him that although he doesn't like Church, that your daughter loves it, and it's what's best for her not best for him. She's not suffering from going, so he needs to respect that. Also, as for him not liking people in your Church, well that's not a reason. In life, we go places where we're not going to like everyone even if we are all Christian and try our best. You could also try talking to him and letting him know, that although he's not interested in attending Church, that you are.

It's perfect to continue praying, and it's great that you're getting your daughter to pray with you as well.

My Grandmother is in her 80's, as well as my Grandfather. My Grandmother is Catholic, and my Grandfather is an Athiest (Very, very, very Athiest, and he feels the need to tell everyone.) They've been married now for 55 years. So it is possible to continue in Church with a non-Christian husband. He's just going to have to accept that you and your daughter are attending and will continue to attend. Don't push him to go, because that usually just makes things worse. Continue to pray and only God will lead him to the Church.

Good luck!

 

[shekaniah]

Good job on taking your daughter to church.
As for your husband...
give him to the Lord in private prayer.
Ask God to surround him with people to witness to him for you.

If you want to win him over...do it with a gentle and quiet spirit full of inner beauty.

1 Peter 3:3,4
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.
Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

I will pray for you all too,
Love in Jesus, Shekaniah

 

[Lucy68]

I'm so happy for you that you found God and that you're teaching your daughter the same Christian beliefs .

It must be really hard to have your husband against these life-giving teachings .

I think it may be best to not push too much with trying to get him involved in church activities. He will have to come to the place of wanting salvation, or at least having a curiosity about it, before he willingly pursues it. Our rebellious spirits, which we all have, will sometimes rebel even more if it perceives any kind of pressure.

Keep praying for him . Not necessarily aloud in front of him because he'll take this as criticism. I've seen people get offended simply by telling them 'I'll pray for you'. It infers that they really need it and they are insulted.

Hopefully, by not pushing him, he'll at least allow you to continue with your church activities without a lot of verbal abuse about it. Eventually, he may develop an interest in going to see what it's all about.

Would he consider getting help with his drinking? AA is wonderful for helping people with this addiction.

Praying for strength and guidance for you and your daughter .

 

[Singer4Christ]

Hi, I know exactly what you're going through. The only exception is that I'm in the place of the daughter and not the mother. My mom, sister and I found God when I was 11, but my dad didn't like church (he was also raised a catholic). The fights and debates that go on in this house can be really loud and hurtful, but we just continually pray for my dad. He at least allows my mom to pray with him every morning and little by little I can see changes in him. Maybe you could do the same with your husband. Just simply ask if you guys could pray together before you go to work. I'll be praying for you and your daughter. And make sure your daughter knows that her dad is in God's hands and that He will work everything out. Say it in faith and it will come to pass! God Bless

 

[chuinchoy]

continue to pray for your husband. Jesus promised us that when we pray, what we are praying will come true but in reality why so many prayers unanswered? One thing that iam sure is that Jesus is NOT a liar. You need to find out the reason why. If you can't by yourself, consult your church pastor. From my own expereince, it was because there is still sin in me which has not been confessed. Once i confessed and repent from them, i saw my prayers answered.

Meanwhile, you got to explain to your daughter what is happening. Otherwise she might be lost and might think that being a christian is wrong.

 

[gracethroughfaith]

I have been married for 12 years. I was lost when we got married and now By the grace of God found. It has been five years and I have grown spiritual and teach my youth class on Wed. nights. I have a almost 6 year old daughter that I have been rising up in church. The thing is my husband is not a christain and he was rised in the Cathical church. He tries to encourge our daughter not to go to church and especially my church because he does not like the people that go there. Now I go to a Bapists church. I pray for him everyday and night. My daughter ask why her daddy don't go to church and she goes to prayer with me and prays for him. She see him drink and prays in his face and hearing for him to quit drinking and going to church. He will not come to any church programs we have to watch his only child. This has caused alot of hard feeling between us all the time because we are very active in church. This made him mean worded with us. Is their anymore I can do but to continue to pray for him.His words are hurting his child when he push her away with ugly words.

graceandfaith:
The best advise I can give you is. Yes, keep praying the LORD will open his heart, but your prayers can not be for his heart to be converted so life will be better for you and your daughter. You must pray that he would be changed for the glory of God.

We can not ask things of God to be consumed upon our own lusts.

James 4:3 (KJV)
3 Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.

When you pray for him do it in private, not to be heard of him or others.

Matthew 6:6-8 (KJV)
6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.
7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.
8 Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.

Also live a Christ like life in your home be that example of love Jesus taught us.

1 Peter 3:1-4 (KJV)
1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

This word conversation is speeking of our life.

CONVERSATION, n.
1. General course of manners; behavior; deportment; especially as it respects morals.



Do not try to push your faith in God upon him, this will only make him meaner.

Also understand that as we come to Christ there will always be division among homes friends, family, co-workers....

Luke 12:51-53 (KJV)
51 Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division:
52 For from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two, and two against three.
53 The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.

The division comes naturely as light and darkness can not dwell at the same time.

Most of all your love for the LORD, Christ Jesus must be greater than your love for another. Even greater than your love for your husband or your daughter.

Jesus Christ must be your first love.

Let me leave you with one last thing.

May the LORD give you and your daughter the strenght to come through this harsh trial, and torment Satan has brought upon you, seeking to accuse you before God.

2 Thessalonians 3:5 (KJV)
5 And the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God, and into the patient waiting for Christ.



Sincerely, Gracethroughfaith

 

[graceandfaith]

THANKS FOR ALL THE ADVICE I WILL DO MY BEST TO PUT IT ALL TO USE.

 

[shekaniah]

I hope things have gotten better...
Prayers sent again!
Love in Jesus, Shekaniah

 

[Stephen]

I prayed for you and your family. I am having a difficult time in my marriage as well. My wife who was once very strong in her faith has drifted towards the world and its pleasures. It is a difficult thing to watch your spouse be spirtiually weak, but you must stay strong and faithful to HIS word, grow closer to HIM.

Your husbands only exposure to Christ may be you. So, be certain to wear the full armor and be Christ like so that he may see HIS power and glory and someday surrender to it.

 

[BarlyGurl]

Bottom line... you are not getting good advice here outside of the scripture.

You are the major contributor to the conflict in your home.
As a christian woman--- your first priority before the Lord is to be a Godly wife to your husband.
Wives and Husbands 1 Peter 3
Likewise, you wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 3Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 4But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 5For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands: 6Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters you are, as long as you do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. 7Likewise, you husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Be grateful he hasn't forbid you outright from going to church. Stop confronting your husband about this issue and study the word to develop your character according to scripture. Your responsibility to raise your daughter in the fear and admonishment of the Lord begins at HOME, with the bible and your living example, not at childrens church or any of the programs offered at your "church". Allowing your daughter to be the mouthpiece regarding the issue is absolutely out of order and should stop NOW. Notice that verse 7 above... while addressing "husbands" uses the term LIKEWISE... thus you should be warned... that your prayers will bounce off the ceiling until you get yourself and what pertains to you ordered aright in the matters of marriage. the Marriage without regrets bible study is a helpful resource if you have no "older woman" to instruct you in this area.

 

[BarlyGurl]

I am having a difficult time in my marriage as well. My wife who was once very strong in her faith has drifted towards the world and its pleasures. It is a difficult thing to watch your spouse be spirtiually weak, but you must stay strong and faithful to HIS word, grow closer to HIM.



Sorry you are having trouble... but... It is YOUR responsibility as the husband to be the stand at the helm and steer your family spiritually... YOU are the head...that is your resposibility before the Lord. Stating that your wife is spiritually weak... is well... WEAK!!! Take action and BE THE LEADER.

 

[Tommy4Christ]

I have been married for 12 years. I was lost when we got married and now By the grace of God found. It has been five years and I have grown spiritual and teach my youth class on Wed. nights. I have a almost 6 year old daughter that I have been rising up in church. The thing is my husband is not a christain and he was rised in the Cathical church. He tries to encourge our daughter not to go to church and especially my church because he does not like the people that go there. Now I go to a Bapists church. I pray for him everyday and night. My daughter ask why her daddy don't go to church and she goes to prayer with me and prays for him. She see him drink and prays in his face and hearing for him to quit drinking and going to church. He will not come to any church programs we have to watch his only child. This has caused alot of hard feeling between us all the time because we are very active in church. This made him mean worded with us. Is their anymore I can do but to continue to pray for him.His words are hurting his child when he push her away with ugly words.

Stop playing church, repent and seek the mercy of God,I know this message is harsh, but loosing your souls is even harsher.

What will be the end of those disobeying the gospel of God?​

​

1Pe 4:17 For the time has come for the judgment to begin from the house of God. And if it first begins from us, what will be the end of those disobeying the gospel of God?​

1Pe 4:18 And if the righteous one is scarcely saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear?​

1Pe 4:19 Therefore let those who suffer according to the will of God commit their souls in well-doing, as to a faithful Creator.​

When it comes to the message of the cross, and what constitutes a real saving faith in the professing Christian world, you don’t have to go far to see just how far off the mark the gospel being preached today has come!
Its miles, and miles away from what was established by Christ and His followers many centuries ago! Today the truth has become an outright lie, making it virtually impossible for the truly seeking individual to find any truth whatsoever in the churches and denominations today.
God has made it clear through His disciple Peter, that His judgment will begin first and foremost in the house of God, which is His church, but today the church system as we call it, is so far off from being the house of God, that His judgment is coming sooner than later!
How can anyone in this mess ever come to a saving faith, which is the simple message Christ and His devout followers preached right from the beginning, He cried, repent or perish, turn and forsake your evil ways, and follow me on the straight and narrow way!
But today it’s just the opposite, the house of God is more like a den of thieves, full of unconverted professing Christians, fighting with everything they have to preserve their saved in sin, substitution gospel, that is a far cry from what the early church taught and died for!
Now IF you do the research you can clearly see just how these powerful scriptures are coming into the light! Just go to most churches, or question the popular ministries, and it’s all the same message, of just confess, trust and believe Jesus took your place, and the wrath of God has been lifted from you, because you accepted this lie, telling you when you throw out all the fluff, that you can sin like the devil and still make it into the kingdom, because you said the prayer, cried a few tears, but did nothing to come before all mighty God the judge of all, broken and contrite in real repentance and a working faith in Love. Galatians 5-6, 2Corin 7-10-11.
For those who do not shake and tremble at these verses, you should do a quick check to make sure you faith hasn’t become shipwrecked!
Since God is making it clear it will be difficult for the saved to enter into the kingdom, He then states what about those who disobey His truth? What will be their end? And I don’t think He is telling us those who disobey are the ones who have not received Christ by saying a little prayer, hoping God will forgive and overlook all their sins against Him!
Gal 6:7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked. For whatever a man sows, that he also will reap.
Gal 6:8 For he sowing to his flesh will reap corruption from the flesh. But he sowing to the Spirit will reap life everlasting from the Spirit.
Now if those who do what is right by God are scarcely saved, then what hope has the wicked and ungodly have?
God wasn’t joking when He said, few will be saved, many will take the wide, easy road, His wrath is upon the children of disobedience, and you must endure to the end to be saved!
So it’s vital to understand that the provision gospel isn’t the answer, in fact it’s so far from the truth, that many will not escape the snare of the lie coming right from the pit, that says you can sin and live, God doesn’t see your wicked heart, but Jesus, He loves you as you keep feeding your flesh in lust, greed, and idolatry, ignoring His commands to repent or perish!
Jesus didn’t repent for you, He didn’t become your righteousness, or take your wrath or punishment as many teach today, But He did create us in His own image, pure, and willing and able to choose our path in life, which many have already! They believe they can sin and disobey God, because all is done for them, and they received the gift!(the mark)
That is why its imperative we all work out our salvation with fear and trembling, make our calling sure, be doers OF the word and overcomers of sin, temptation and the devil remaining undefiled from the world, stand fast in the truth, keeping it pure and holy as we keep ourselves as commanded, otherwise you will fall away into perdition and may not come to real repentance and faith, proven by deeds as commanded in the word of God.
There is no such thing as easy salvation, it does come with high price, and many saints have fallen away into sin, and worldliness, forsaking their first love, thus proving what God clearly says, that even the righteous will have a difficult time staying pure and in the faith!
Jesus made a way through His great example for us to follow and obey, it takes diligence, self-control, and a strong desire to be holy as He is holy, not by some sort of provision He made for you, but by obeying from the heart, that has been made pure through repentance and an obedient faith, not based on some magical substitution, but based on a real commitment to the truth, and following Jesus on the narrow road.
Many are called, but few are chosen, and the chosen ones are simply the once who have actually crucified their flesh with Christ, Galatians 2-20, have come out of all the lies and deception, and standing firm on the gospel according to godliness handed down to the saints of old, who knew what it meant to walk a holy and separate life unto God, not trusting in a false provision, but on the power of Christ that set them free from sin. Now walking an upright life shining their light into the dark world, keeping pure and undefiled less they become disqualified and useless to their master!
They committed themselves to doing good and what is right, thus making them righteous and acceptable to God, not being perfect as God is, but walking in all humility, keeping their eye on the prize, and being certain they remain in His will and power to keep them strong in a world filled with many temptations, lies and pitfalls!
1Jn 3:7 Little children, let no one deceive you. He who does righteousness is righteous, even as that One is righteous.
1Jn 3:8 He who (produces) sin is of the Devil, for the Devil sins from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was revealed, that He might undo the works of the Devil.
1Jn 3:9 Everyone who has been born of God does not commit sin, because His seed remains in him, and he cannot sin, because he has been born of God.
It’s about doing what is right because we all have free will and ability to do it, doing wrong, which is willful, presumptions sin against God is of the devil and not OF God, Jesus came to put to death the works of the devil, not take our place as we remain a poor, helpless sinner, struggling and fleshing out every day, and those who are born again through the baptism of repentance, and receiving the spirit of God, do not sin!
Tommy

 

[Stephen]

I am having a difficult time in my marriage as well. My wife who was once very strong in her faith has drifted towards the world and its pleasures. It is a difficult thing to watch your spouse be spirtiually weak, but you must stay strong and faithful to HIS word, grow closer to HIM.



Sorry you are having trouble... but... It is YOUR responsibility as the husband to be the stand at the helm and steer your family spiritually... YOU are the head...that is your resposibility before the Lord. Stating that your wife is spiritually weak... is well... WEAK!!! Take action and BE THE LEADER.

I will comment here but do not want to hijack this thread. I take full responsibility as the spiritual leader of my home and am raising our sons according to HIS word. But we have free will and I can not force my wfe to obey Gods word, I can not force her to stay home and not go out with friends and consume alcolhol and dance to inappropriate music, we pray to together but I can not force her to actually open her heart and mind to HIM, we attend church and fellowship but I can not force her to attend. I lead by example.

We must be careful not to assume because a wife does not yield to GOD that is because the man is not spiritually leading. You may notice there are a lot of woman these days abandoning their familiies for the lure of the world.

I do NOT doubt my faith and my leadership in MY HOME.

 

[BarlyGurl]

I will comment here but do not want to hijack this thread. I take full responsibility as the spiritual leader of my home and am raising our sons according to HIS word. But we have free will and I can not force my wfe to obey Gods word, I can not force her to stay home and not go out with friends and consume alcolhol and dance to inappropriate music, we pray to together but I can not force her to actually open her heart and mind to HIM, we attend church and fellowship but I can not force her to attend. I lead by example.

We must be careful not to assume because a wife does not yield to GOD that is because the man is not spiritually leading. You may notice there are a lot of woman these days abandoning their familiies for the lure of the world.

I do NOT doubt my faith and my leadership in MY HOME.

That's better!!! That response reads like a spiritual leader...<the other post,not so much>... and I agree, a wife's lack of submission does not necessarily define the quality of her husband's leadership, but it is your job to be her covering... please do not expose her in the details.