All is wicked-- help me.

[thomas64]

Truly, all is wicked-- all but from God.

This is going to be my long-winded rant, if you take the time to read this, please give me advice and prayer.


I am struggling. Like seriously struggling. I have realized that everything I do and that everything I set my heart on is wicked. How can this not be true? Because if anything I do and anything I set my heart on is apart from God, than it is wicked, surely.

I've realized that I am not a Christian, or if I am than a lousy one at that. Although I do love God, for He is the most amazing, loving, and perfect thing in all of existence, my logical-self keeps telling me that I don't. If I did love God, why then do I still live like I do not love Him? Equally, if you were to look at my life, it is not the life of a Christian. I am all talk, no action.

I know my problems. I clearly have Idols in my life, I clearly don't have my priorities straight, I clearly have a hard heart, and clearly I love living in my sin. I am so wicked. I repeat the same sin and I feel no guilt. This scares me. It really does. If I were to die right now, I would go to hell and I would be apart from God. I don't want to hear it, but I think I would be absolutely hopeless if I were to lie to myself. I cannot break away from my sin, because I am a slave to it. I can't serve two masters. The only way I can be saved is by God, and only by God.

I cannot recall what exactly, whether it was a sermon I heard or a verse, but it was something along the lines of; "Come to Me leaving everything or do not come at all." How? How can I do this when every part of me does not want to do it? My flesh will die, but it is my flesh that governs my life. I've been losing in the war between the flesh and the spirit. I feed one and not the other. But what happens when the flesh has grown too large? What can I do, when I won't do anything? Who am I to defy what my flesh is? Oh how wicked I am, oh how wicked. There is simply nothing I can do. Only God can save me.

What now? I pray every night that God would change my wicked heart, that I would repent. More often than not, I pray that I would want to pray this. Because most times I don't even mean it, I think.

I don't know how to give it all up. I am not strong enough to give it all up. I am an evil person. I am looking for wisdom on this.

Try believing you are saved inspite of all you wrote, for Christ is your righteousness before God, you have none of your own. The person who wrote half the books of the NT believed that was how to see victory over sin. A voice in your head will tell you, if you do dare to believe it you are a hypocrite, and just faking your christianity, he told me the same thing. Ignore the voice, and stick with what the bible states:

Therefore no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works of the law/obeying the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of our sin.

21 But now apart from the law the righteousness of God has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. 22 This righteousness is given through faith in[h] Jesus Christ to all who believe. Rom3:20-22

Sin is the transgression of the law 1John3:4

Think really hard about those scriptures. God bless