Am I wrong?

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blessedmommy34

Guest
#1
#1
Im going to share somethng quite personal, but its becuz I need to know Im not wrong for feeling the way I felt. So, I went to the pool today with my kids and before going, I had to take my son to see his dad at his job. I left him there for 15 minutes while I ran to the store...I went into my husband's job to pick my son and left to the pool. Once Im there I get a message from my husband asking me to do the noble thing and send him some pics of myslef in my bathing suit so that he doesnt feel the need to fornicate...when I saw the message I was absolutely livid. Me and my husband have been separated and he sends me a message like that..it just showed me that he is still trying to control me and sees me as his property. I responded and said "no I wont and how dare u even ask" he saw nothing wrong with what he did and even told me that pretty soon he was going to stop begging me to be his wife.

Im so tired of this already...was I right in my reaction? Wasnt his request totally out of line and disrespectful?

He texts me nonsense every single day and its just annoying me and pushing me further away..Im just tired already
 
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wolfywolfs

Guest
#2
#2
Well as your seprated he really should be giving you space. But in my opinion only he proberly thinks your just gona run back in his arms so he can do whatever he wants because he thinks he knows the outcome already.

So wad your wrong nope you was not
 
TheAristocat

TheAristocat

Senior Member
#3
Oct 4, 2011
2,150
26
0
#3
blessedmommy34 said:
Im going to share somethng quite personal, but its becuz I need to know Im not wrong for feeling the way I felt. So, I went to the pool today with my kids and before going, I had to take my son to see his dad at his job. I left him there for 15 minutes while I ran to the store...I went into my husband's job to pick my son and left to the pool. Once Im there I get a message from my husband asking me to do the noble thing and send him some pics of myslef in my bathing suit so that he doesnt feel the need to fornicate...when I saw the message I was absolutely livid. Me and my husband have been separated and he sends me a message like that..it just showed me that he is still trying to control me and sees me as his property. I responded and said "no I wont and how dare u even ask" he saw nothing wrong with what he did and even told me that pretty soon he was going to stop begging me to be his wife.

Im so tired of this already...was I right in my reaction? Wasnt his request totally out of line and disrespectful?

He texts me nonsense every single day and its just annoying me and pushing me further away..Im just tired already
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Maybe you could've told him what you're telling us... that you thought that was disrespectful. But honest communication only works on people who are trying. He is still your husband even if he's annoying. And you're still his wife.

So why are you two separated and why is he threatening "fornication" (i.e. adultery) rather than getting back together with you?
 
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Lucy68

Senior Member
#4
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#4
You were right. Your body is yours and to do with as you see fit :).

His request is disrespectful...especially considering the circumstances. Interesting he phrased it as YOUR responsibility to keep HIM from 'fornicating'. Immoral behavior is the responsibility of the doer, not anyone else.
 
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GOD_IS_LOVE

Senior Member
#5
Mar 16, 2009
306
4
18
#5
"The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does." 1 Cor. 7:4
 
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Ugly

Guest
#6
#6
GOD_IS_LOVE said:
"The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does." 1 Cor. 7:4
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Thats true, in a right marriage. But this woman is separated and living apart from her husband. Her husband is also a drug addict and a verbal abuser. I don't think That scripture still applies.

Also, even if they were still together, a husband trying to blackmail sexy picture of his wife by blaming her for him sinning if she doesn't also would not fall under that scripture. That is manipulation, control and a man not taking responsibility for his actions. I don't believe for one minute thats the context God intended that scripture to be applied.

We have to be careful about using broad strokes with a biblical brush. We can't just know part of the story or not pay attention to the details and start throwing out scriptures. Thats not using wisdom.
 
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blessedmommy34

Guest
#7
#7
Thanks Ugly, that is exactly how I felt....like he still wanted to control me and sees me as physical property...not loving me in a Godly way, but in a worldly way. Even just today, he asked me to drop his daughter off at her moms for him and I said I cant becuz I have alot going on right now with moving and he called me an "ungrateful *****"..and told me that i would never see his daughter again who I raised and loved for 4 years. Im still being abused by this man though we are separated and the guilt trips he is putting on me are too much. Anything that he does is my fault...in therapy I am learning that it is not my fault...his actions are not my fault...his abusing me, using drugs, stealing from me, hitting and mistreating my kids...NOne of it was my fault. He has some serious psychological issues he needs to address.

He uses scripture to manipulate me and control me...He has never shared the Word in a loving way and its so sad looking back now...we would do studies and if I wasnt sure of what he was saying he would yell at me and make me feel so horrible...if I upset him I wasnt a child of God but if I pleased him and made him happy I was. The abuse was so intense and I dont know how I didnt realize it sooner.

IM sorry for rambling, it has just been a real tough week and weekend...just needed to vent.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#8
#8
No worries, vent away. I have a close friend who has been through a very similar situation. Even after she separated from him he continued his abuse and control. Keep up the counseling, though, trust me, you will need it in the long run. My friend was not able to get the counseling and she's paying for it now. Just keep doing what you know is right and don't give in to this control freak and his manipulations. You're better than that, so live it out.
 
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