An ungodly Marriage: joined through sin, not by God. Is it valid, is it adultary?

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Atwood

Senior Member
May 1, 2014
4,995
53
48
#21
I think you have two issues, one is being faithful in marriage, the other looks like Manic spending. I don't know if lithium cures that or not. Thus it appears to me that you need good legal advice on how to limit your financial responsibility. And of course if you are away a lot from a manic wife, one has to consider the possibility of manic sex also. Is this mania only expressed by spending money?? I am sure you can easily check the Signs and symptoms of Mania on the internet as well as the treatments for mania. And you must know if there is a depressive pole to the mania. Perhaps you need professional advice on how to set limits. Do you think you may have been co-dependent with her.

Of course if you both trust Christ as Savior, He is the ultimate help.
 

Atwood

Senior Member
May 1, 2014
4,995
53
48
#22
You are so rude. That person is adopted by God. When you are adopted you all debt and all sins are forgiven. You are now another person with another family name (God is your father now). So Jesustold us to deny ourself which means the separation is necessary - Leave parents, relatives, children. Of course God was who said "get rid of your pagan wifes and the children they bore!" You remember? No pity for the unbeliever please. About the love - God loves every one but as we should love everyone we love our family most - arent we? So the same God love his family member with more deep love. There is no law "Do not divorce" - so.. and also this woman is devil himself i think she belongs elsewhere :)
The Lord Jesus did not say to leave a wife, but that what God has joined together, man should not put apart.

And no, I don't know any place where God said, to get rid of your pagan wives and the children." You find a historical record of this in Ezra, but it does not say God told them to do it; only that a human man said it, and they did it. I think that Malachi rebukes the divorces which were demanded, where Malachi says that God hates divorce. He made two one, and why one? He sought a godly seed.

What do you mean there is no law, "Do not divorce"? God tells us that He hates divorce. He allowed divorce in the Law of Moses because of the hardness of men's hearts.

"1 It was said also, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: but I say unto you, that every one that putteth away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, maketh her an adulteress: and whosoever shall marry her when she is put away committeth adultery." and there are other scriptures.
 

Nice_Lady

Senior Member
May 13, 2014
148
2
18
#23
Atwood, if you think God didnt spoke by that prophet why its written in the Bible as good deed? I will tell you why - because God prefer divorce than idols.
 
J

jjtj22

Guest
#24
My brother

This will not be the answer you are looking for. You are to lead and love your wife as Christ loves the church. One day you will give an accounting on how you have led and loved her and she will give an accounting for how she responded to your love and leading. If she is not holding up her side of the equation that does not absolve you from yours.

I am truly sorry for the troubles you are going through and if there are issues with mental illness or drugs I would encourage you to find a Godly brother who can counsel you further.

My Holy God,
Bless my brother and give him the strength to walk out the path before him. We ask You to fortify his Godly masculine strength to be a light so desperately needed in today's world. We ask for a break through from the confusion and stress the wife has brought into their union and for a healed and prosperous marriage.
In Jesus' Holy Name amen
 
I

isoneedahug

Guest
#25
I dont agree, isoneedahug. Its sounds as if you are telling the Israelities to come back to Egipt for may be Egipt can be saved. The dead do not hear even if you tell them every day about Christ.
There are ways to separate yourself from a toxic situation so as to give God time and space to work on things while you intercede for the person and give yourself totally into service, evangelism and ministry; and this without you fighting actively to get a divorce. God hates divorce and no amount of calling your spouse "an egyptian" will change that reality.

If you take care of God's business He will take care of yours. He will fight your battles if you stop trying to fix it yourself and just give yourself to prayer. I have learned every single one of these lessons the very, very hard way and i never give marriage or divorce related advice lightly.

Satan hates family because of the mystery of power and unity that is in a family. We should always strive to protect family, not destroy it, but many times a simple separation can allow the perfect breathing space needed for God to work. :)
 
M

MyPottersClay

Guest
#26
This will be my final post on this thread, I will not divorce her but I will continue the separation and afford her the opportunity to face the Lord in regards to a Christian marriage. We both know what is expected in a Christian marriage and (own her own) in the presence of God will determine if she will follow His way or go the other way. I will stand idly by as the Lord "refines" her and she will either return as a Christian wife or she will seek escape from His Great Light. I will know the truth by her "fruit", her actions. If she returns or leaves either way may the Lord's Will be done. I thank all of you for the Christian insight and prayers. GB
 
R

Rockeey

Guest
#27
MyPottersClay, I think it's great that you have changed your life and that you love the Lord and your'e letting him mold you. But I think that you need to keep praying for your wife. I usually hear this type of story with the table's turned, it's usually the women who wait for the the husband. I think you need to tell her to go to a rehabilitation if her problem is drugs and definitely don't give her any money. I'm not sure what the situation is exactly. Does she work? Best thing for you to do is to show her the love of Christ and encourage her to change. I know it's hard because it sounds like you don't love her anymore. I believe you said that you had the addiction before. I'm sure it was very difficult for you to give up drugs if you did do drugs at one point. So having come from that place you have to understand her also and know she may not be as strong as you. Just keep praying for her. The marriage is valid in the eyes of God. You are not committing adultery with her. She is your wife.

My advice to you is that you have to keep praying for her. I'm sure it's really hard to give your life to God when you have an addiction. But all things all things are possible with God. Just keep praying.

Hope this helps and God bless you brother:)

Father God, I come before you and I ask you for MyPottersClay, you know his situation and you know how difficult his situation is. I ask you to give him the wisdom and the patience to be there for his wife. I ask you for strength for both of them and I ask you to move in both of their lives in a special way. You are a God of miracles. Keep ministering to her heart God that she learns to appreciate her husband and realize that she needs to make that change in her life now and give her the strength to do it. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen.

God Bless you brother, I will keep you in my prayers and your wife.
 
R

Rockeey

Guest
#28
I also would like to add that in my situation. In my marriage, I am the one that needed to change. I don't have a drug addiction or a substance abuse addiction of any kind. But I was the one who was spending the money and sabotaging my marriage. I lacked the appreciation for my husband. I have been a Christian for so many years but I stopped going to church, turned away from God and I made so many mistakes. But God didn't give up on me and he kept ministering to my heart and my marriage isn't perfect but I love my husband and I appreciate him so much. I suffer from guilt now and from all the pain I caused him. I was never unfaithful to him or anything like that but just other stuff that I shouldn't have done. But here I am. Trying to move on and asking God to keep working in my life. He had recently lost his job too and we were having all kinds of problems and it was kind of scary there for a second. But I tried to comfort him and he has a job now and he actually has been offered a job that has great benefits too. So now he has a bunch of job offers lol. So, what a huge blessing but I am grateful for what God is doing in our lives and I struggle everyday not to be that negative person that sabotaged my marriage. I can feel God making a change in my heart and I'm so happy about it. I know that I can't go back in time and undue the damage that I've done but I can learn from it. In a way I'm grateful for the guilt that I have because before I felt no remorse. My heart was cold. I can feel myself changing. I'm trying not to condemn myself but to say I'm not that person anymore. I won't be that person again. It's a struggle everyday. I hope God ministers to your wife and she listens to God's voice. God bless you brother.
 
Z

zegin

Guest
#29
hy am addisu nice to meet you