I personally hardly ever hang out with people. A lot of the times any of the activities my church acquaintances do I have no interest in. However it comes to a point where someone can become invincible and no one ever invites you to anything. When people do invite me I reeled honored, yes I know it's silly, and although I would decline at least I was thought of. Anyone feels the same? If you have no interest in hanging out it feels nice to be asked.
I agree that it usually feels really good to be asked, but I agree with Gideon -- it's something that a person can't overuse or abuse.
I've been on both sides of the coin. I've been in work situations where coworkers would ask me to go out with them to a club or bar. I think I only went twice, but in every such circumstance, word quickly spreads that I'm a boring church girl (lol,) and they stop asking. In that kind of situation, it can be a blessing.
But I know I've also been in some situations where the person really needed some company and I should have said yes. It can be part of the way God asks us to serve other people.
I don't know if it works this way for others, but I know that for myself, inviting someone to do something can be a huge effort. If I ask someone, I try to prepare for if they say yes, which might mean offering them a ride, so I know I'll have to rearrange my schedule and make sure I have gas in my car. If I invite someone to church, I give them a couple of bucks to toss into the offering plate so they won't feel awkward or left out (having visited several new churches myself, I know how uncomfortable being a stranger in a church can be.) I try to explain anything that's going on that they might not understand (such as communion or a baptism.) All of this (for me at least,) takes a great amount of energy.
As an extreme introvert, inviting someone can be a full job in and of itself, so being the one who always asks (especially if the invitation is always turned down,) becomes a matter of discerning the give and take and whether or not the other person is only taking. Of course there are times when we should just give, but too much imbalance isn't healthy for either party.
It's very similar to people who only contact you if they need something, or those who are more than happy to tell you all about themselves if YOU make the first move (contacting them first,) but they never go out of their way to do so themselves.
I used to have many one-sided situations in my life and finally realize how draining it could be. I decided to try to cut out as many of these situations as possible (and wondered if anyone would be left,) but I can tell you I'm a lot happier.
I only have so much time and energy so I try to concentrate on people who, even when they need to be asked, will eventually realize that any healthy relationship is two-way and that they need to put in an effort to do their part -- whether that means sometimes accepting or extending an invitation themselves.
I might be wrong about this, but if a person only sits back and lets other people ask while always declining (but enjoys being asked,) after a while, it's just not fair to the person asking, and might be more healthy for both parties to move on.
The one who asks might need to learn better discernment or how to reallocate their invitations, and the person who wants to be asked might also need to learn how to do their part in equally serving the one who is asking.
1
1
Sometimes people just need a little encouragement.
