Biblical assertiveness

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S

Sirk

Guest
#1
#1
The bible says to say what you mean and mean what you say. God loves truth and He also loves unity. What does being assertive with people in a biblical sense look like to you?

I have really only one boundary..it is...be nice to me. Speak respectfully to me in a self controlled tone and don't attempt to put me beneath you. I have actually said to people in person.....I don't like the way you are talking to me. I want you to be respectful with me and be kind in your tone. If you can't I will remove myself so that I can get myself under control and we can try again later.

What say you?
 
crossnote

crossnote

Senior Member
#2
Nov 24, 2012
30,707
3,650
113
#2
I assert my self by letting a person ramble, but then keep stating my case, (sometimes using their words against them).
I guess I'm more of a Judo Junior than a Karate Kid. :p
 
S

Sirk

Guest
#3
#3
crossnote said:
I assert my self by letting a person ramble, but then keep stating my case, (sometimes using their words against them).
I guess I'm more of a Judo Junior than a Karate Kid. :p
Click to expand...
You remind me more of a ninja crossnote. :p
 
joeyruready

joeyruready

Banned
#5
Mar 10, 2013
329
13
0
#5
I say I agree with God. Speak the truth in Love.
 
S

Sirk

Guest
#6
#6
I had to speak with my insurance agent. Long story short, my agents assistant happens to be friends with my soon to be ex. Without going into detail, I called to get some clarity on some things that were confusing to me. She was.. A TOTAL SNIP... and I said to her....Matilda (I Changed the name to protect the innocent) I'm really struggling with the way that you are talking to me right now and I would like you to lower your voice please. Matilda said, MY VOICE IS LOW.....too which I replied, I really need for you to speak calmly to me or I am gonna have to let you go and call your superior. In a calm voice Matilda said...I will get with the agent and we will get some answers for you and call you back shortly.

When she called back she was just the sweetest little thing and answered all my questions thoroughly, thoughtfully and kindly. I was very appreciative


 
LOLOKGal

LOLOKGal

Senior Member
#7
Nov 13, 2015
774
89
28
#7
Sirk said:
I had to speak with my insurance agent. Long story short, my agents assistant happens to be friends with my soon to be ex. Without going into detail, I called to get some clarity on some things that were confusing to me. She was.. A TOTAL SNIP... and I said to her....Matilda (I Changed the name to protect the innocent) I'm really struggling with the way that you are talking to me right now and I would like you to lower your voice please. Matilda said, MY VOICE IS LOW.....too which I replied, I really need for you to speak calmly to me or I am gonna have to let you go and call your superior. In a calm voice Matilda said...I will get with the agent and we will get some answers for you and call you back shortly.

When she called back she was just the sweetest little thing and answered all my questions thoroughly, thoughtfully and kindly. I was very appreciative
Click to expand...
I do believe you handled that the right way. :D

There were many times when I would ask my soon to be ex to sit down and calmly talk with me. If he refused to do so, I would tell him, "Look, I love you, but I'm not talking with you when you're being like this." He continued to scream in my face. So, at that point, I just tried to walk away from him. Sometimes, I was able to. Sometimes, he would stop me. But, MAN! did he have anger issues! One of the many reasons why I had to finally leave him. *sigh* So sad. :(
 
B

Babylonisfalling

Guest
#8
#8
It also says to be quiet and mind your own business.

1 Thessalonians 4:11
make it your ambition to lead a quiet life and attend to your own business

We all have our favorite verses and our choices often seem tailored to our personalities, myself included.
What verse is "say what you mean and mean what you say"
 
S

Sirk

Guest
#9
#9
Babylonisfalling said:
It also says to be quiet and mind your own business.

1 Thessalonians 4:11
make it your ambition to lead a quiet life and attend to your own business

We all have our favorite verses and our choices often seem tailored to our personalities, myself included.
What verse is "say what you mean and mean what you say"
Click to expand...
Matthew 5:33-37
 
B

Babylonisfalling

Guest
#10
#10
Matthew 5 33-37
33 Again, ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, Thou shalt not forswear thyself, but shalt perform unto the Lord thine oaths:
34 But I say unto you, Swear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God's throne:
35 Nor by the earth; for it is his footstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the city of the great King.
36 Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black.
37 But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.

That passage seems in line with "say what you mean and mean what you say"
But it doesn't seem particularly assertive. The last verse of that passage actually sounds more like keeping things brief and simple, rather than assertive. It basically says that anything more than a simple, honest yes or no comes of evil which isn't assertive.

I suspect the Bible does speak of assertiveness at appropriate times though.

Do you know of any verses that are more assertive about being assertive?

I suspect they exist but I don't know of any off the top of my head.
 
P

psalm6819

Guest
#11
#11
I sometimes have to step back and ask myself "Do I want to win the battle but lose the war?"
 
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