Brokenhearted, please help

[sophi3]

I ask for prayers, I ask for advice, I ask for stories that you can share.

Boyfriend/best friend broke up with me. I know that this is a Family Forum, but I feel that a broken heart shares similarities to a divorce. It has been over a month. I have tried everything. Prayer, counseling, talking to loved ones, yoga, meditation. I am in so much hurt.

I pray in 3 parts (please pray with me): God heals my heart and mind completely, that he make our friendship unbreakable (right now it is very painful, we stopped talking altogether), and that he restores our relationship, or he gives me my true soulmate.

They say time heals all wounds, God closes doors and opens windows, keep myself busy. There are days when I just want to die. But I don't because I will go to hell and my family will be feeling hell on earth.

My loved ones, some of them do not even want to hear me talk anymore. I don't know what else to do. So i am sharing my story here and hopefully I can talk to you all. Please pray with me, share your heartbreak stories, how you bounced back up and met a better person, and if you have advice.

 

[Singer4Christ]

I've just recently gone through almost the same thing. After the break-up I was really depressed because he made it seem like he didn't really care about me. I didn't really talk to anyone about it except for God and after time, it did get better. I was in a serious depression for almost 2 months, but one day in church, I was at the altar praying that God would just take my hurt because I couldn't take it anymore. And I felt God come and lift that huge burden off my heart. I can't tell you how happy I was after that. Even my relationship with the guy has gotten better. After a period of time of not talking to each other, I went to him to tell him how I was feeling over the past couple moths. We talked some stuff out and he apologized. We're still not together, but remained best friends. And yes, it can still be awkward at some points, but we get through it. Because even if we're not going to be together, I think of being best friends as the next best thing. So I'm here to tell you that it will get better. I know that your feeling a lot of pain, but just keep praying. Once you give absolutely everything over to God and trust that He will take care of things, you'll feel at peace. If you need someone to talk to, you can always message me. I'll be praying for you

 

[kim12345]

besides getting married and falling in love. What do you dream about doing? If you dont know Find out,....do you dream of being a dancer, musician, accountant, model, painter, business owner or ??? and then pour yourself into it.. So your life is not Only about a man.

 

[presidente]

One thing to watch out for is to guard your mind. I had a female friend who I had an argument with when I was single. We weren't dating, but there were a lot of emotions involved, certainly on my end, and I'm pretty sure on her end, too. She said something that hurt me. What she said didn't hurt me nearly as bad as the next day, probably a Saturday morning. As I lay in bed late thinking about it, I started thinking all these thoughts about how terrible it was of her to treat me that way. The more I thought these thoughts, the more I hurt. But it was like thinking these thoughts was addictive, and the more it hurt. I actually wrote down some of these thoughts and read them later. They were pretty bad.

So I go to church and a group of people were praying, including the one who hurt me. One of the men praying had seen a vision of the enemy shooting arrows into my heart and me allowing him. So they prayed for me, including the one I'd had the argument with, and 95% of the pain was gone. I still had some concerns about the friendship I'd been hurting over, but I was no longer an emotional wreck.

I thought about this and remembered the passage about the armor of God and the shield of faith extinguishing the fiery darts of the wicked. I also remembered II Corinthians 10, about bringing into captivity every thought that exalts itself against the knowledge of God. Pay careful attention to what you are allowing yourself to think. Pray about them, and surrender it to the Lord. Ask for wisdom to know how to deal with them. The great thing about asking God for wisdom is that James 1 gives a 100% guarantee to get wisdom from God if you simply ask in faith without doubting.

Pray for God to heal you emotionally. Also, be willing to let go. Give it over to the Lord. If He wants you with this man, He can work it out. If not, accept His will. Have the attitude of 'not my will but Thine be done.'

 

[Baybart]

Sophi,

Losing someone you love is the most painful thing in life by far. I can empathize with you. I have recently separated from the woman I thought I would marry and who I thought would be the mother of my children. Just writing about it makes me want to cry. I suffered greatly after the loss, and loss affects us deeply and changes us. However, the Lord does not forget our pain, and not only does he restore us, he gives us restitution. He will actually give us double what we have lost, and then some, for the anguish, if we stay close to him and continue to love him. This is Biblical. It's not just something to make you feel better, it is fact, and if I talk to you 2 years or whatever from now, you will look back and see. Stay strong and don't lose hope.

PS: I have also thought about ending my life after my last separation. You are not alone. But I am closer to God now than I have ever been.

 

[sophi3]

Your replies have moved me to tears. What you all say gives me hope that God is in control. He will not abandon any of us who are experiencing a crisis.

This hurts me because he was also my best friend. I am seeking advice from friends and family, and that makes me more confused. They told me to leave him alone, give him space. We can be friends in the right time. I am clinging to the Lord with all my heart to help me heal.

 

[Toska]

I can feel the pain in your words and my heart breaks for you. Please know that I have already prayed for peace of mind and easing of your pain. I will continue to pray for you. Losing someone you love is so hard. I wish I were near to you so I could give you a hug. God bless you, Sophi.

 

[thedoctorwho]

Continue to seek advice from family, friends, and God. Draw closer to Him and rely on Him. Remember that this happened for a reason. A reason we cannot fully understand.

I would also say that you shoukd focus on your strengths. Let God show them to you. How am I going to be different? What small action can I take right now to put me on a new path?

 

[RedTent]

I have gone through the same thing, except it is with my children. I went to my pastor for ideas on how to cope, they were good ideas so I followed them. I have the peace and even joy, now, that God promises.

Anytime thoughts of them come into my mind I quickly send them this blessing: Numbers 6:24-26 May the Lord bless you and keep you, may he make His face to shine on you and be gracious to you, may He look with favor on you and give you peace.

I had no idea that my thoughts of how I missed them were "ain't it auful" thoughts when the Lord warns us against that kind of thinking until I changed my thoughts to only blessing.

My pastor also said to make these scripture my day to day guide: Php 4:4 to 8. Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! (5) Let your graciousness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. (6) Don't worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. (7) And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (8) Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable--if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise--dwell on these things.

It works! The Lord tells us in Philippians 4 that we do have control of our minds, we can choose what we think about. In Romans we learn that we can absolutely trust God to take every situation we come to in this life and depend on God making good come from it when we love Him. We can give up all the wondering and worry thoughts, or thoughts lamenting what we don't like, and give them all over to God.

Even if our life isn't working out as we think it should, we can give our days to living within the kingdom instead of worry over it and the right path to take, and joy, peace, and love will follow.

 

[Karraster]

Hi Sophi, It's not an easy thing when, what we think we want more than life (in this case,to be with a certain person) is ripped away and there is nothing we can do. What I've learned is, that I was making that person my god, my all, and when I lost that person I thought I couldn't survive without him. The truth is, there is nothing or anybody we should value more than our Savior. What we should pray always, and without exception, is for our Father's will be done. You don't know the plans your Father has for you, but you must believe it is better than anything you can possibly fathom. Grace and peace be with you and blessings~

 

[sophi3]

Thank you all for your kind reply. He's contacted me but again I am anxious because I don't know what to reply. Or if I should even reply.

I'm having difficulty understanding how God talks to me when I'm asking him to guide me right now. Some people hear voices, or have dreams. Some people ask for signs. I don't even know if those are signs, or I just want them to be signs.

 

[Lucy68]

Thank you all for your kind reply. He's contacted me but again I am anxious because I don't know what to reply. Or if I should even reply.

I'm having difficulty understanding how God talks to me when I'm asking him to guide me right now. Some people hear voices, or have dreams. Some people ask for signs. I don't even know if those are signs, or I just want them to be signs.

So sorry you're going through this .

I've been reading Charles Stanley's book "Living Close to God"...it has a chapter about discerning God's Will for our lives. He stresses that God does lead us in decisions; but differently than how He led people in the Old Testament.

Mr. Stanley says that to discern God's Will, we need to focus on these things:

--study God's Word...full of advice, wisdom, etc. This really is His voice speaking to us...what a blessing!

--pray and listen to the Holy Spirit's voice....for me, this usually means praying and waiting. Answers usually come as I'm doing something else. Continually thinking about something will just muddle my mind even more. I never hear actual voices...it's more like a prompting.

--counsel and circumstances....We can receive very good counsel from mature Christians and we should also pay attention to the circumstances of our situation. Be aware that Satan can also open and close doors... Stanley says that neither circumstances nor counsel alone should ever determine God's guidance...they must work together and along with persevering prayer, dependence and trust in the Holy Spirit and immersion into God's Word. And patience.

Time away from something, or someone, can help us to see things more clearly. Praying for you...peace and direction from the Holy Spirit.

Happy Thanksgiving! You may not feel like giving thanks but it helps us immensely to praise God in the midst of trial. There's a new song called "Broken Hallelujah" or something like that...great song. Sometimes our hallelujah's are broken, or weak, due to suffering, but God loves to hear them anyway .

 

[secularhermit]

Stories of broken hearted people is ENDLESS, every where on earth (and heaven).
That pain, partly is selfish. I know it since I grow and grew with it. When we hurted people, when we left them, contrary to their will, they suffered that pain and, often, we were not conscious of the broken heart we left and the wrong thing we did.
When we were left by them, we are aware of the pain, we know how it hits, and this time we know how it hurts (the lesson serves to avoid hurting or being hurt).

My life have both extremes and recently, I fell in love with one I adjusted to match (the whole thing is long and wrong, and won´t repeat on telling) and that ended on Setp 2012. I know I had it a pure, honest. I could have it in the sensual or sexual relationship, but I stopped before it was too late, because I was deeply involved.

The thing here, when you get the wrong person, is accepting their refusal, their leaving, their choice for another... All are free to do it, to choose for another (if not married, because it is a commitment).

This year, by the way, I met someone I loved for more than 20 years. Innerly I planned one way I could meet her to marry her (the way I thought I knew her) but, after some hours of re-encounter, I founded out I was wrong, she was not the one I thought she was and not the one she would be when being Christian, so I´m glad I know I was wronged by my ideas and not others.

Do you like to find yourself being cheated or find you have loved and adulterer?

I´m glad He left you! no matter how painfully it is today.

I have like many songs of JOURNEY. Steve Perry seemed to have lived some of his songs but, as I have seen, "love" is an idealization, a dream seldom found.

Hope you find him!

 

[RedTent]

Thank you all for your kind reply. He's contacted me but again I am anxious because I don't know what to reply. Or if I should even reply.

I'm having difficulty understanding how God talks to me when I'm asking him to guide me right now. Some people hear voices, or have dreams. Some people ask for signs. I don't even know if those are signs, or I just want them to be signs.

I think you need to question, carefully, dreams and signs. I found that the Lord always speaks to me, but it is in a sort of spiritual language. I am given scripture to follow. Actually scripture is God using words to breath Himself to us.

I used to feel that everything that happened to me was a direct result of what I personally did, like when it rained on a day for the picnic I wondered what I did to make it rain! Now, it seems that all I am responsible for is to express caring and love for others and let God take care of the rain. We are to accept the rain with contentment and trust in ourselves and God to make it through.