Caregiver burnt out

[jennthecaregiver]

Hi folks, as you can see, I'm Jenn the caregiver. I'm really burnt out. Tonight I feel like crawling into bed and never coming out. My husband has severe arthritis which is still unknown what exactly it is. Every month...on average 1 to 2 weeks, he will be in bed. My sister lives with us and she works full time. I'm a full time student, "mom", "pet mom", sister, wife..etc. How do I even begin to explain how I feel. I'm so drained and I'm reminded again and again that God will never give me what I can't handle. I'm broke financially. My marriage is way down the list as my husband is the main focus. My needs aren't met so I know i must come to God to have my needs met. It's so hard because I am losing hope....... I really did believe that 5 years of marriage, I'd have a baby by now...a job and he would be working too....things really has been nothing but a nightmare. I feel like a zombie going throuh motions of life. I hate that feeling. I feel alive when I listen to worship songs but I need more. I need fellow christians to keep in touch with. People come and go in my life. People are afraid of who my family and I are. For one, my sister is Deaf. She suffers from schzioaffective disorder. I'm hard of hearing....sign language is my primary language. My husband has arthritis and borderline personality disorder and every known anxiety disorder. On top of everything, I do not know what to do anymore since I seem to fail at budgeting out money. I'm so sick of myself. I can't explain myself to my sis and husband because they're in the mind set of the world of "themselves". It's about them. Ugh, I"m tired of whining and complaining here. Off I go.

 

[preachersaul]

Praying for you sis. Rest in the Lord. If you need to rant here's as good a place as any. Apart from ranting at God of course. Take it to Him. Talk to Him. And when have given it to Him, leave it with Him.
You are in my prayers
Dan

 

[NinJaGGS]

God bless you!
Your trials will not go unrewarded, your patience is not overlooked!

 

[sunikpor]

My sister in the Lord, God will surely see you through. All your predicaments will surely come to pass; just keep your faith strong. Remember Job.

 

[pickles]

Hi Jen, huge hugs!
I also am a caregiver, mom, wife, cheif caretaker of the home, and have several health problems myself, well you understand.
I know how you feel, some days so tired, that even getting out of bed takes every bit of faith and streangth that God gives.
I wish I could give you one single solution, but from your own testamony you spoke to how to continue.
By faith, looking to Jesus, and seeking Him in music,prayer, community, and praise!
Hmmm, there is one answer, Jesus!
Praise is a biggy, I have found that when things are the most overwhelming, praising God is trully a weapon against defeat.
I also rebuke all defeat, depression, and weakness regularly in Jesus Christ is Lord come in the flesh.
For although the life you have may seem defeating, in Jesus, one will know more of His presance and blessings in everything lived.
Simply because one needs Jesus in everything they do.
Keep praising and looking always to Jesus, and he will increaceyou in His Holy Spirit, and His Holy Spirit is trully the perfect when it comes to all one needs.
To live in His Holy Spirit is trully the perfect!

My heart is with you in Jesus, and I will keep you in my prayers for all provision in Jesus.

Huge uplifting hugs Jen, sending support for all your needs in Jesus Christ is Lord!

God bless
pickles

 

[jennthecaregiver]

Thank you so much for your encouragement!

 

[PopClick]

I agree with Pickles, that praise will help a great deal. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

And like what Job said, when he was so afflicted: "The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."

The "with thanksgiving" part is easy to miss, and hard to follow. But it is SO important.

I really hope this is helpful to you. I know you're having a really hard time, and I'm not trying to diminish what you're going through or accuse you of being an ungrateful person.

 

[Lucy68]

Praying for you Jenn . You can 'whine' here all you want to...this is a good place to do that

God wants to hear our hurts and struggles. Also, the family of God is supposed to lift each other up when we need it.

Praying for you...rest, encouragement, strength. Attending church is a huge help so I hope you're able to do that

 

[answers]

Hi,
I completely relate to the burnt feeling. From my experience in the past when I feel this way it is for a growing reason from God. I've noticed he weighs on me heavily when I am suppose to change something that affects his will for me. During the mess of things it is hard to see his will, but bare with things and listen closely. He is wanting something in your life to shift.

Your lifestyle seems similiar to mine. I am in the process of finding his will with my marriage right now, and I will tell you I felt and sometimes feel overwhelmed with all my responsibilities and I too dread dealing with it all (be thankful you do not have children while dealing with this) I have three kids, I have to add protection and example setting among other things. The point I was trying to make is that I thought God was not giving me more than I could handle, when really he was. He wants me to learn how to depend on everyone else, and delegate responsibilities, and learn to let go and let live.

I am not implying that his will for me is the same as yours, but I am saying don't just look at his scripture in one dimension. He may want you to view something in a different way than you typically do. Either way you have come to a great place to get insight from others and their views from Gods word. I pray you gain what is needed to overcome this and grow in God's will. I pray your husband and sister are open to God and see their loved one is in need and supports what is needed for God's will to be done.

Also you mentioned not being very good at managing your finances, around me places offer financial classes, and some churches do too. Maybe check around and get better knowledge and support from others outside the home.

 

[oracle2world]

We enjoy having you here! If you could come to the random chat room evenings, we can get to know you better!

 

[intercessorginger]

Dear Jenn,
First of all I want to say, that it's very understandable that you would be tired, burned out. and exhausted by what you are facing. I can give some suggestions and I pray they are helpful to you.
Try to get some help, anywhere you can so that you can have a break. Even a half a day off will refresh you if you can do something completely different. If you can get the help of a family memeber, church member,respite organization, or friend you will find that those precious hours will fortify you for more service to your husband.
While you are on your "time off" that is the time to pour out your heart to the Lord and get answeres. You might find that the Lord will give you "stragegies" for dealing with the day-to-day issues that will make them easier to handle.
I was caring for a very ill family member,had young children and was working. I was quite tired as you can imagine. I got the idea from the Lord to order Chinese we could share in my room while watching television. The kids were relaxed, could get their homework done, and we could eat and laugh or even doze off. It took some pressure off since I did not have think about dinner, dishes etc. It was a simple small thing, but it really helped us.
I would also speak to the Pastor and get prayer from the Intercessors at your church. This is vital to your stamina and will also bring breakthrough and relief to you husband.
Never give up, Christ is our healer..and he is still in the Healing Business !.

 

[pickles]

Jen? How are you doing?
You continue in my prayers in Jesus.

Huge hugs and God bless
pickles

 

[psychomom]

Jenn, I hope you come back from time to time as you are able, just to fellowship with us.

I just wanted to add that, in my mind, the lovely verses PopClick shared (Philippians 4:6-7) begin with the latter part of verse 5:
The Lord is near.
For that reason, be anxious for nothing.
The Lord is near!
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
Isaiah 53:3 tells us this about our Lord Jesus:
He was despised and forsaken of men, A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief

He knows how you feel, beloved. You are never out of His thoughts, not for one fraction of a second.
The Word speaks again and again to us of how much the Lord cares for us when we feel overwhelmed and abandoned and crushed, swallowed up by our circumstances.
God wants us to know He gets it . And He IS the solution to it.

I have prayed for you, dear child, And though as I go about my day you will leave my thoughts, you will never, no never leave His.
You have His promise of love, and His promises are Yes! because He cannot lie.
I pray He give you strength to seek Him, and to totally rely on Him. ♥

love,
ellie

 

[shekaniah]

Jenn,

I have prayed for you all!

Look into diet changes to help your husband,
sounds like he might not be getting enough essential fatty acids. (Brain and joint food.)
Also there are some great suppliments for arthritis.

Diet changes could benfit you all.
You will all sleep better, have more energy and think more clearly.
Love in Jesus, Shekaniah