Coming back to god when all you know is lost

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Seriouz

Guest
#1
#1
To start off I have been with the women of my dreams for 10 yrs now. I have always called her my wife but we never got married. I've always treated the relationship as a marriage and have prayed to ask god to accept it. All being said she cheated on me after 10 yrs. we have a beautiful son together. I don't know what I'm suppose to do. Do i forgive her? Do we move on? I've had my faults and I can understand why she went outside and did this. I am a better person because of this but I'm more lost than ever. Can a relationship work after infidelity? And how do I forgive her? I have not put god at the center of our relationship till now and I don't have any spiritual advisers.
 
T_Laurich

T_Laurich

Senior Member
#2
Mar 24, 2013
3,356
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#2
Find a good Church, and ask the pastor if he could give you both counselling... That is my advice.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#3
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#3
Seriouz said:
To start off I have been with the women of my dreams for 10 yrs now. I have always called her my wife but we never got married. I've always treated the relationship as a marriage and have prayed to ask god to accept it. All being said she cheated on me after 10 yrs. we have a beautiful son together. I don't know what I'm suppose to do. Do i forgive her? Do we move on? I've had my faults and I can understand why she went outside and did this. I am a better person because of this but I'm more lost than ever. Can a relationship work after infidelity? And how do I forgive her? I have not put god at the center of our relationship till now and I don't have any spiritual advisers.
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1.) You have been living in sin for the last ten years! Calling her your wife does NOT make you a married man. God will not accept a "marriage" like this. He intended marriage to be real and official. What you have been doing is living together--that is not marriage.

2.) She cheated on you. That happens alot. The odds are she probably is still cheating, and/ or will cheat again.

3.) Do you forgive her? Yes absolutely you should, for that is what the bible says to do. Do you move on? Yes, but SEPERATELY, not together. This relationship is not good for either of you, nor your son. I would establish some sort of custody arrangement and then move on with your life.

4.) Can a relationship work after infidelity? Sometimes yes, but more often, no. The trust is no longer there and without trust, all relationships are doomed.

5.) Ask God to forgive YOU and ask him to give you the strength to forgive her. Good luck. :)
 
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sassylady

Guest
#4
#4
This relationship will not be truly blessed until you have repented, ask Jesus to be your Lord and see if He would have you marry her. You need to stop living in sin with her. The forgiveness and restoration can only fully be had by giving it all to God.
 
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Seriouz

Guest
#5
#5
I wish it was just as easy as getting married and getting back to what we had but better of course. At this moment we are trying to keep a stable environment for our son. What about this is living in sin at the moment? We are not having sex we are just trying to see if trust can be built and she needs to see that god has changed me over night. I verbally abused her and her to me. I don't know how a person can change over night but knowing what I know now I could never speak to her that way again. My biggest problem now to her is she's seen such a huge change and does not not how to receive it. I don't want to smother her and push her away. I just want her to turn to god like I have.
 
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wisebeardman

wisebeardman

Banned
#6
Mar 22, 2013
4,718
124
63
Indiana
#6
sorry when it comes to cheating, that is one thing I would never accept. the minute someone cheated on me I would be gone.
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#7
Jan 24, 2011
11,783
2,947
113
#7
Rather than worrying about the relationship, get yourself right with God. Get on your knees and repent of this sin. Only then can you think about what you are going to do with this mess.

If you separate, you will likely lose your son. That is sadly how the courts are. But if she is a cheater, and won't repent or turn to Christ, then I believe you have Biblical grounds to leave her. But then you won't be able to try and teach your son about God.
tough choices that sin brings!

God is calling you right now. Put him first and trust him!

"Trust in The Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths." Prov. 3:5-6
 
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Lynn68

Member
#8
Sep 9, 2014
97
1
0
#8
Something that I need to remember daily, is that we are all sinners. Some of us just haven't repented yet-that helps me in my relationship with my husband as he is a non believer. The best thing I can tell you is to hit your knees, and repent, and believe in the gospel. I had to do this also, as my life and relationship were spiraling out of control. But then Jesus came into it, and my behavior and outlook on life started to change. My husband started to notice it also, but he is still fighting against believing himself. Trust in The Lord, and what He can do. He can do, what we cannot do.
 
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