courtship

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1still_waters

Guest
#41
#41
Courtship advocates claim courtship leaves less room for a broken heart.
But that is simply not true.
Actually it's VERY untrue.

The courtship mindset starts out VERY serious. Right away you consider yourself on the track to marriage with the person, as the other person is basically the future husband/wife. So you plod along, working it out, with your heart and mind so quickly convinced this is the one. But if/when it fails, you lose a LOT more emotionally, because all along, they were THE ONE.


I had a friend who had "kissed dating goodbye", and she ended up "courting" four different guys at different times over a five year period. The emotional damage of those "breakups" was more severe in my opinion than I see from those who date and then decide somewhere along the way it's a no go.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#42
#42
1still_waters said:
Courtship advocates claim courtship leaves less room for a broken heart.
But that is simply not true.
Actually it's VERY untrue.

The courtship mindset starts out VERY serious. Right away you consider yourself on the track to marriage with the person, as the other person is basically the future husband/wife. So you plod along, working it out, with your heart and mind so quickly convinced this is the one. But if/when it fails, you lose a LOT more emotionally, because all along, they were THE ONE.


I had a friend who had "kissed dating goodbye", and she ended up "courting" four different guys at different times over a five year period. The emotional damage of those "breakups" was more severe in my opinion than I see from those who date and then decide somewhere along the way it's a no go.
Click to expand...
This is the danger I've seen in some of the Christian literature being pushed toward young people, which has very little, if any, basis in scripture. There was a reference in the OP to the "in" thing, but it seems like "courtship" IS the "in" thing in some Christian circles...a fad of sorts. I'm all for purity. I'm all for romance too. But we need to be sure that couples are in love with one another and not just in love with the idea of marriage.

Some of us have known deep abiding love. But even when you HAVE that, difficulties come. Financial struggles, extended families may interfere, jobs come and go, children come along and (as precious as they are) they turn our worlds upside down. Couples get tired/stressed/irritable at times, even though they try to avoid it. So, yes, keep things pure. Keep things romantic (really tough to do, but please do try...it matters). But remember to keep things REAL. If you fall in love with getting married, but do not love the person and vice versa, you may find yourself experiencing several weddings. Allow yourself the opportunity of getting to know the person they REALLY are by spending time with them, not just the person they want you to see while everyone is watching.
 
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secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#43
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#43
@ galegria "... intentionally building a foundation for marriage."

A never ending story.
 
Loveneverfails

Loveneverfails

Senior Member
#44
Feb 18, 2013
1,294
26
0
#44
I don't necessarily advocate one over the other. Either dating or courtship can be taken to the extreme, and either of them could also be very effective.

There is no man-made method of getting to the altar that is flawless, simply because humans are involved, and God knows how much of a mess we are. :) I've seen the pros and cons of both dating and courtship and what I've observed is that what matters most is that both people in the relationship have a desire to honor The Lord, and honor one another.
 
Cee

Cee

Senior Member
#45
May 14, 2010
2,169
473
83
#45
I think it's important for people to not ignore red flags. Be very upfront with communication, don't try and be something you're not and just have some freakin' fun.

On the spiritual side? Chase God and see who's running next to you.

C.
 
G

Galegria

Guest
#46
#46
That's clearybstated and beautiful thank goodness there are more ppl w ho think this thank u for ur post
 
G

Galegria

Guest
#47
#47
Very very true - although some have dating " christian " men it happened . I know we are not perfect and mistakes happen but for some reason these guys tend to tell the girls that God would understand? (Sigh) I know what ur think . . . I've talked to them about but its not geting anywhere
 
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