Daniel - Slowly being born again since turning 40 in 2019

[HealthAndHappiness]

Hello All! My name is Daniel. I used to call myself "Dan" but as part of my growth in TRULY becoming a child of Christ, I am trying to separate myself from the former self. I was Catholic since birth, with varying degrees of devotion over the years. I have struggled all my life over issues of inadequacy, depression, and anxiety. I rebelled against God, or what Catholicism said God was. Long and short, I was well meaning and somewhat "innocent" through my teens, lost hope in my early 20's, an awful person through mid 30's, suffering and learning in late 30's, awakening on my 40'th birthday, Repentant at 42. Through constant daily prayer and reading (Bible, Tozer, Pink, Dr. Bill Creasy, C.S Lewis etc.) I have maintained constant vigilance, out of fear of returning to my old ways. I quit every vice you can imagine, save for caffeine and nicotine. I've lost my quickness to anger, lust, and impatience and anything the Holy Spirit tells me to get rid of as I continue this journey. I have occasional battles of faith, but unlike the past, I suffer through it, praying to be given more faith and guidance. I am a "Lone Wolf" Christian presently as I am extremely introverted and have a short attention span. I am keeping an open mind however. I've been to a reformed Baptist prayer group, a Calvary church, and plan on visiting a Baptist service this Sunday. I feel I am closest to God when I walk in the woods for hours asking for forgiveness and thanking Him for my salvation. I am married with kids, to a non-believer. I have a son out of wedlock, she has been divorced. I know this is a bad situation, and not in line with scripture, but I have no recourse and only choose to pray and ask forgiveness. Right now I am trying to come to true terms with my repentance over past sins. I ask for forgiveness for them, but I don't feel I am at the point where I would confess these sins to others if pressed. Can I truly be repentant if I am not ready to lose everything I have, by confessing these sins? Would I lie to hide my past sins? It's all hypothetical but I want to cure my soul to the cure, so these questions have to be asked. I will post intermittently to see if I can gain insight on my struggles. I believe in the Holy Spirit above all else to lead me to true repentance in the meantime. Bless you all. Merry Christmas!

Hi Danny,

Thanks for sharing your testimony.
I was also raised Catholic.
Then a Baptist had the love to show me the following message that I just passed forward to my doctor. I hope it's a blessing to you.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

Hello I am God. The Word is the provider of mercy and strength Bless you

Hi Dub. I think you might not know, but auto correct probably messed up what you typed in your post. Thought you would want to know. This is for you too.

 

[Underwhosewings]

Hello All! My name is Daniel. I used to call myself "Dan" but as part of my growth in TRULY becoming a child of Christ, I am trying to separate myself from the former self. I was Catholic since birth, with varying degrees of devotion over the years. I have struggled all my life over issues of inadequacy, depression, and anxiety. I rebelled against God, or what Catholicism said God was. Long and short, I was well meaning and somewhat "innocent" through my teens, lost hope in my early 20's, an awful person through mid 30's, suffering and learning in late 30's, awakening on my 40'th birthday, Repentant at 42. Through constant daily prayer and reading (Bible, Tozer, Pink, Dr. Bill Creasy, C.S Lewis etc.) I have maintained constant vigilance, out of fear of returning to my old ways. I quit every vice you can imagine, save for caffeine and nicotine. I've lost my quickness to anger, lust, and impatience and anything the Holy Spirit tells me to get rid of as I continue this journey. I have occasional battles of faith, but unlike the past, I suffer through it, praying to be given more faith and guidance. I am a "Lone Wolf" Christian presently as I am extremely introverted and have a short attention span. I am keeping an open mind however. I've been to a reformed Baptist prayer group, a Calvary church, and plan on visiting a Baptist service this Sunday. I feel I am closest to God when I walk in the woods for hours asking for forgiveness and thanking Him for my salvation. I am married with kids, to a non-believer. I have a son out of wedlock, she has been divorced. I know this is a bad situation, and not in line with scripture, but I have no recourse and only choose to pray and ask forgiveness. Right now I am trying to come to true terms with my repentance over past sins. I ask for forgiveness for them, but I don't feel I am at the point where I would confess these sins to others if pressed. Can I truly be repentant if I am not ready to lose everything I have, by confessing these sins? Would I lie to hide my past sins? It's all hypothetical but I want to cure my soul to the cure, so these questions have to be asked. I will post intermittently to see if I can gain insight on my struggles. I believe in the Holy Spirit above all else to lead me to true repentance in the meantime. Bless you all. Merry Christmas!

Praise God for your testimony, and may God bless you abundantly.
Salvation for me was very clear when it happened. Because I had not clearly understood repentance.
I had only turned from my old life of sin.
And began to do all the right things.
There was something missing but I could not grasp, understand or even find what was the missing “ingredient” so to speak.
As I continued to gather for the word of God and prayer, the LORD made me to realise that I had no assurance of salvation in my heart.
Even though I was outwardly living the Christian life, I could never freely, spontaneously, openly confess the LORD JESUS CHRIST.
The day I realised that I actually didn’t know where I was going if I died that night and the seriousness of it, I immediately did something about it.

Not that I could twist Gods arm, but I stayed on my knees that night and told God all my heart and to please speak to me.
Immediately God told me to “Repent”
How many times had I heard that word and not understood to fully surrender to God through His Son Jesus Christ.

So from that moment of repentance,
It was no longer I will do this and that,
But, LORD what would you have me to do. LORD, please guide me today by your Holy Spirit.
Yes! Daily die to self, because God is looking for instruments/vessels that He can use.
Without full surrender, God cannot use us.
May God bless you.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

Hi Dub. I think you might not know, but auto correct probably messed up what you typed in your post. Thought you would want to know. This is for you too.

I just looked at the date closer and see that these are from 2021.
Just another reminder for us to double check when a newbie or someone restarts a thread that doesn't look familiar. Not criticizing because I've done it too. It's just a chunk of time from my day that could be more productive.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

Hello I am God. The Word is the provider of mercy and strength Bless you

I gave him benefit of the doubt even though he just said this and took off back then.
Just in case this guy didn't have Google spell check change his statement and is under the same spell as some of the prosperity false gospel preachers, here's a popular one. I know that spell check does a number on our writing and we don't always proof read twice. However, There are too many of these out there. I don't miss my TV channels.