Dating and sex

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Chocolatechip900

Guest
#1
#1
I am dating a great man it's been 6 months. The topic of having sex came up. It's only been 6 months and I feel like the realationship is too young for such a big step yet at the same time I'm afraid if I have him wait he will lose interest in me and move on. I never met a man like him before and it's scary to think ill lose him.I don't believe in waiting until marriage but I do believe you should wait a whole into the relationship to have sex. I know it's my decession and only I can make it. I just need advice.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#2
Mar 13, 2014
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Tennessee
#2
If he is the man that you think that he is you should wait until marriage. Make sure he gives you nice ring also. You both need to pray about this relationship. Welcome to CC.
 
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Rosesrock

Guest
#3
#3
I think the sentence that worries me the most in your post is.....it's scary to think I'll lose him.
Do not have sex to keep anyone. Doesnt work.
If he won't wait. He's not the one.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#4
#4
Well, if think if you came to a site where everyone believes that sex before marriage is wrong, because that is what God clearly tells us, then you shouldn't expect much of an answer about your decision about having sex before marriage.
You list your religious status as 'unsure'. So, out of curiosity, why come to a Christian site, that speaks against sex before marriage period, to ask such a question?
 
HS

HS

Senior Member
#5
Jul 3, 2016
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#5
Hello
The man probably doesn't truely love you if he is pressuring you for sex before marriage. If you refuse to have sex and he breaks up with you then he definitely doesn't you love as you are or respect you but only loves your body which isn't true love. If he is your man he will respect your decision to wait till marriage. I myself would dump a man that doesn't respect my decision to wait.
Sex is God's gift to couples and if you have sex before marriage it will hurt Him and you are likely to feel guilty after it.
 
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rdbseekingafterhim

Guest
#6
#6
Let me tell you from experience sex before marriage is a bad idea. God says not to do it and the thoughts you have when you do are crazy believe me. Before I was saved I lived a wild life believe me. I'm not condoning what I did by any means. I was involved in drugs, alcohol, sex, porn, and many other things. I am now saved and from time to time I think back on how I was before I was saved and I get upset with the things I had done. However it's through Jesus that I have been delivered from those sins. God put the rules in place not to limit our fun or keep us from having a good time. He said for us not to do certain things because of what He realized would happen if we did such things. If your boyfriend is a great guy as you claim he'll wait until marriage. If he doesn't want to wait cut ties with him. Because he's not for you. God has in mind the perfect one for you. Ask Him to lead you to who you should marry. Also if you haven't accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior we can tell you how to do that. Jesus died and rose from the grave to save all mankind from sin. You have to confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus died on the cross and rose from the dead 3 days later as payment for your sins. Ask Jesus into your heart and you can be sure of your salvation.

Would you like one of us to pray with you and lead you to Jesus?
 
Yeraza_Bats

Yeraza_Bats

Senior Member
#7
Dec 11, 2014
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#7
I want to warn you that as a male, if any male ever tries to make the argument that "men have needs and cant practice that kinda self restraint" to you, he is speaking complete bologna and is merely trying to guilt trip you into getting what he wants.

Reading your post, it sounds more like this guy is just in this relationship to get what he wants, and having a serious and lifelong companionship is not really his main goal.

Anyone can control themselves and their urges, if a guy is pressing at you that way, he is merely working hard to get what he wants. If he cant control himself for you, then hes really not worth your time.
 
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HisHolly

Guest
#8
#8
If you give in, the request for something will never end..

He may be great in some ways but if he's shallow those great things will never be yours to really appreciate and he won't care that u want to..
 
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Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#9
#9
Rosesrock said:
I think the sentence that worries me the most in your post is.....it's scary to think I'll lose him.
Do not have sex to keep anyone.
Click to expand...
That's a great point.
 
Test_F_i_2_Luv

Test_F_i_2_Luv

Senior Member
#10
Jan 24, 2009
1,601
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#10
Chocolatechip900 said:
I am dating a great man it's been 6 months. The topic of having sex came up. It's only been 6 months and I feel like the realationship is too young for such a big step yet at the same time I'm afraid if I have him wait he will lose interest in me and move on. I never met a man like him before and it's scary to think ill lose him.I don't believe in waiting until marriage but I do believe you should wait a whole into the relationship to have sex. I know it's my decession and only I can make it. I just need advice.
Click to expand...
I'm afraid if I have him wait he will lose interest in me and move on If you have sex, he could still lose interest and move on. What will also happen is that the activity will bond you with him and make the break-up even harder.

I never met a man like him before Speaking as a male, I find it disgusting and inconsiderate that a guy tries to pressure and encourage a woman to be sexually active before giving her a wedding ring. I personally don't believe in having sex with what could be some other man's wife. Unless I'm married to her, I don't know that that couldn't happen.

I never met a man like him before and it's scary to think ill lose him. I don't think it's going to feel too good if you have sex with him and he leaves anyway. You'll probably feel used. You'll also feel hurt because it will be a bigger deal to you than to him that there was sexual activity. Keep in mind that men seem to pull off one-night-stands easier(no big deal to them) than women. :-/

I don't believe in waiting until marriage but I do believe you should wait a whole into the relationship to have sex. Not sure why you came to a website that professes Christianity. As such, Scripture states:

Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. -Hebrews 13:4

I know it's my decession and only I can make it. I just need advice. You're at a website that professes Christianity. :)
 
J

JosephtheDreamer

Guest
#11
#11
Sex before marriage is not good and you will commit sin because of it...I will ask you Ma'am,,which is scarier..losing your boyfriend or losing your soul in the fires of Hell..Open your mind and dont be blinded by the deception of the Devil...
Both of you must read the Holy Bible it will guide you...IT IS THE BEST BOOK I HAVE EVER READ...God is awesome
-----a piece of Advice from your friendly neighbor :D
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#12
Oct 13, 2014
6,877
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#12
If he cant wait till marriage hes not worth it. He should respect you and your body enough.
 
O

OwzK

Banned
#13
Jul 27, 2016
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#13
Chocolatechip900 said:
I am dating a great man it's been 6 months. The topic of having sex came up. It's only been 6 months and I feel like the realationship is too young for such a big step yet at the same time I'm afraid if I have him wait he will lose interest in me and move on. I never met a man like him before and it's scary to think ill lose him.I don't believe in waiting until marriage but I do believe you should wait a whole into the relationship to have sex. I know it's my decession and only I can make it. I just need advice.
Click to expand...
I've been here with a girl before, she wouldn't accept that I didn't want sex and would guilt trip me into it... it's one of the worst mistakes of my life. I regret being so weak and letting her control me and for having sex before marriage. It's really not worth it, keep to your principles and to God's way. If he leaves just cos you refuse to have sex with him, he's a loser anyway and is just out for sex. A good man will have principles, and will wait until after marriage and until you're ok with it.

I've been there before, if he wants sex and refuses to wait, leave
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#14
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
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#14
Chocolatechip900 said:
I am dating a great man it's been 6 months. The topic of having sex came up. It's only been 6 months and I feel like the realationship is too young for such a big step yet at the same time I'm afraid if I have him wait he will lose interest in me and move on. I never met a man like him before and it's scary to think ill lose him.I don't believe in waiting until marriage but I do believe you should wait a whole into the relationship to have sex. I know it's my decession and only I can make it. I just need advice.
Click to expand...
If you think he will stick around after you give in to him, you're nuts. He'll do a romp or two in the hay with you, then leave you high and dry. I've been there, had that done to me. If he loses interest in you because you won't give him sex, then that should send up red flags that he wanted you for one thing only: sex. :/ What you need to do is dump this guy, and wait for GOD to send you the right man. Keep on this path you're on right now, and you'll end up alone, maybe pregnant and definitely heartbroken..
 
laura_charlotte

laura_charlotte

Senior Member
#15
Dec 16, 2012
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#15
Chocolatechip900 said:
I never met a man like him before and it's scary to think ill lose him.
Click to expand...

That's the most alarming thing about what you posted. It should never be of any concern to you whether a person is interested or not. The only thing you should be concerned about is holding onto and maintaining your relationship with the Lord and doing His will in all your ways. Not some person who you've just started to get to know. If that's what it takes to hold you hostage, the devil has you wrapped around his little finger no questions asked. Please do some self reflection about what you wrote and where your priorities should be. There is not anyone or anything on earth that should be more important to than God and your relationship with Him. You have permitted yourself to be so manipulated by the enemy it's extreme. Get your nose into the bible on these topics and start doing some much needed bible study and prayer time with God, that will set you straight.
 
Silverwings

Silverwings

Senior Member
#16
Jul 27, 2016
1,368
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#16
Laura Charlotte~ Gee whiz, where is the love in your reply?
 
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