Defeated father

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Trudging

Guest
#1
#1
My wife and children have turned their backs on Gods grace and want nothing to do with his church. I am feeling a complete failure as a father and husband. I have no doubt my own failures are being focused on. Our extended family is made up of some very poor witnesses for Christ. I am having a tough time holding on to the joy that is mine in Christ while walking so alone.
 
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hattiebod

Guest
#2
#2
Trudging?? You need to change your name!! We are victorious....was the cross not enough? Of course it is! It is difficult to live in a family where loved one's reject the Lord. I know! My husband totally rejects Christianity, always has. My daughter turned away....not sure she was ever truly saved, could have been just 'feelings' while at camp. My son, remains but is weak. What I know is I am to be light, not banging on at them. Love them! We have a wonderful close, loving wee family and I praise God for that. I trust God to bring them to Him, that He will call them and my job is to be faithful! :) all the time, no matter what I may experience, or how long it takes. You see, I trust God is doing what He says He will do. I do as I am told, live for Him, He is my guide, my strength, I pray and love them. Read Gal. 5:22-23 and start living these in His strength, change your name to 'itsgoingtohappen' and believe your family WILL stand strong in the Lord one day. May be years....days, who knows?.....God does, and He also knows the desires of your heart :) God Bless you, <><
 
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Lucy68

Senior Member
#3
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#3
I know how discouraging this is. I home schooled my children with the main purpose of instilling in them a love of God and Christlike character. But they both fell in love with the world and regarded Christianity with contempt. I felt like a total failure as a mother. Raising godly children was pretty much my 'life work'. Frankly, it put me into depression for a couple of years.

Sometimes children need life's lessons and we can only put them completely into God's hands for instruction. The only thing we can do (but it's a BIG thing) is to pray hard for them that their hearts will be softened. Their turning away is a big disappointment but it's a choice that everyone must make for themselves.

Be encouraged that you've followed your duty to your family. Now it's up to them to find the right path. Take this opportunity to build your own relationship with Christ. Take your hurt to Him and don't let resentment take root in your soul. We can't control other people, only ourselves.

My daughter is now turning back; after a lot of damage has been done but I'm thrilled she's repented. My other child is still partying and drinking and won't attend church. They are both young adults.

Praying for you...may the Spirit comfort you and encourage you in this difficult situation. Keep running your own race while praying for your children and wife.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#4
Apr 18, 2013
9,367
2,444
113
#4
Trudging,

It sounds like there is lot going on that you aren't talking about.
That's okay.
You don't need to come in here and share every tidbit of information.

My point is this, you need to get some real counseling from a pastor who knows you,
and knows your family. You need to talk to somebody with whom you really can share details,
and all the "ins" and "outs", so he can help you to make some good plans for going forward.

There is always hope in Christ, there is always something God can do.
But you need some real counseling to help you sort through it.
 
J

J-Kay

Guest
#5
#5
Trudging said:
My wife and children have turned their backs on Gods grace and want nothing to do with his church. I am feeling a complete failure as a father and husband. I have no doubt my own failures are being focused on. Our extended family is made up of some very poor witnesses for Christ. I am having a tough time holding on to the joy that is mine in Christ while walking so alone.
Click to expand...
Matthew 10:[SUP]32 [/SUP]“Whoever acknowledges me before others, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven. [SUP]33 [/SUP]But whoever disowns me before others, I will disown before my Father in heaven.

We only have to give account for our own salvation. Even though the Word does say...
Thou shalt be saved and thy household.... The main issue is your focus on the Lord and
be certain of your salvation. Then as you grow in the Lord, your family will see the changes.
I learned long time ago, I can't play Holy Spirit by trying to force Jesus Christ upon anyone.
Living for Him, and Loving as He does, leave the rest up to the Father. Praying, asking the
Lord to save your family. I personally anointed with oil the mattress where the one sleeps,
and pray for them. They don't know it. Prayers with you and for you. God bless ~ Amen
 
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p90powa

Member
#6
Apr 24, 2013
51
0
6
#6
maybe ask them why they did it, and see why. Maybe they have a good reason. Always get the facts and ask them to be completely honest with you. If you love them unconditionally like every father should love their children, then get through the hardships and show that while you and your children might have some things you don't agree with, focus on the things you do agree with. You have to really understand why they did it. And once you do, maybe it will help. Then again, maybe not. But understanding is the first step
 
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danschance

Guest
#7
#7
You are the priest in your home. Start praying for them and never give up.

I walked away from Christianity for more than a decade. My sister prayed for me every night before bedtime. Then God pulled the rug from under my feet. It only took 2 months time before I did a complete 180. Don't give up. Pray for you family or their "blood" might be on your hands!
 
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