well... my story will prolly alienate me lol....in summary.. was raised christian, went into drugs, streets and was teen mum, then came back to god for a while, then dived again into the world, all its filth and went as far from god emotionally and lifestyle way as possible (i have reasons but long story)basically I asked for forgiveness, was ill and nearly died, and I felt nothing, he was cold toward me, and in my road with him Ive always felt his presence till then.. and i felt abandoned and hurt, thought id finally done the unforgiveable, then it turned to anger, so I went further away into sin and hated him, infact my story is not much diff to the amazing grace one tbh, I am responsible for a few not believing now im sure : /
Thought in my mind, if I was totally anti jesus then he'd not be real anymore to me and I was hidden from him too. Denial i guess.
This last week I decided the world was full of hate and I didnt belong, I missed jesus and the friendship I had with him, so I asked him back and, it was confirmed to me that he did love me, cos a lady had a word for me afterwards, about the prodical son, and said he sees me, and loves me, and this lady had no idea I was backslidden, so it to me was jesus telling me he hadnt left me, and was embracing me back.. Id had doubts about prophets, and people praying for me, Ive seen pastors and prophets fall so had no trust, but she had been given my thoughts by god, so it had to be true her word to me.
I dont expect to be perfect even now, ive needed his grace my entire life, if someone can mess it up, thats me. So really my walk with him is one of complete father and child, ill never be great in him, but I'll always be loved by him.
I dunno, its kind of odd my story, ive a lot into it, so if anyone wants to really know my road I guess they can ask me.
