desperate mom...please help!!!!!!

[J-Kay]

I am the youngest in my Family of five and Sue my Sister who died of an overdose at 18 I was 14. My Parents were great parents, with flaws as we all have had and have learned from and grow in God's grace
My Parents for the first time I ahd ever seen growing up blamed each other for Sue's death, you should of no you should of
I walked in on them doing this and said hey both of you Sue made her choice, you both did the best you both knew how, and nothing can anyone of us to do to change what is. It is done quit blaming each other and they understood even though it stayed haunting my Dad and he died three years later, he just could not get over it. He could not move on, he died when I was 17. Now in all that has happened I have choices I can learn from all that has happened or I can crawl in a hole and die as my Dad did in guilt.
A famous weapon of and from the Devil and is why christ came to remove the stress by taking away the punishment of Sin and once one sees this then recieve new life in the Spirit of God by the resurrection.
My Sister did choose God before the death came had repented had quit the drugs, but the do gooders refused to accept her when she did quit, qwhich only through her into a frenzy of not being accepted and never got the chance to see this
Ephesians 1:6To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.
She believed and she is and was accepted in God Christ. It is all about the cross where everything we need for life and Godliness is at

Homewardbound... One thing that stands out for me is your comment about the do-gooders.
Brother I know what you mean. I went to a Church who knew us when we were attending for
several years. And we quit there, out for a while, and started another one. Well, let me tell
you how uncomfortable it was to have the past associates " do-gooders" made us feel. Oh,
they showed sympathy, but I felt like we were on display in the funeral home. They don't
have a clue that my daughter was a believer and tried so hard to fight demons, literally. So,
I just felt my heart do a flip when I saw your comment.. It was like .. YES... that is so true.
God bless all of your family and you. I am happy to meet you ~ J-Kay

 

[J-Kay]

I Apologize for getting off track regarding the hurting mother. I really am sorry.
Your issues was first and I had not right to take away what you needed. Please
forgive me, okay?
I did pray for you to be safe and hear from God as to what to do with the situation.
Many of us cannot understand what each one has lived through or are living through.
May God bless you precious sister ~ (( HUG )) J-Kay

 

[hattiebod]

My daughter was not kicked out of home. She married after graduating and met her
husband when she was working at a bank. She had two children. She allowed the alcohol
and idea of independence lead her on a path that caused divorce, loss of children to their
father. It was then she began a path that led her into rehab twice. She tried to stay clean,
but did fall back. She chose to live independently. We loved her and tried to keep her a
part of family holidays, etc. She was approx 42 when she saw the error of her ways and
realized she had lost so much. We were in process of helping her get dental work done so
she could get her life back. But, it was not to be. She was taken to visit a friend and the person
had whiskey and she drank it after not having drank for a month. She was taken home, left
In vehicle and froze to death in Jan. '07. She was age 45. So please know, she was not ever
at anytime treated like an outsider. We had to love her because we did love her. She never
asked to come home. We miss her but we know her days of hell on earth are over. I just went
through a week of sobbing when I found a letter she had written me in 2002. She said ...
"Mom I know God has saved my soul. " Oh what a beautiful girl she was... It was as if she
was here talking to me.. ( No I do not believe she was )..... It was the emotional part.
Sorry for the misunderstanding...

I like this picture...I wanted one for you that showed a woman...but not to worry you know what I am saying...sharing. Jesus is with us...in the storms of life, he is there. Thank you for sharing your story, so very sad but, we know she is now home waiting for you...for her 'a blink of an eye' till she is once more in your arms! we live with the separation and the pain it causes but with the blessed assurance we will be united. God Bless you, <><

 

[Outsider]

Outsider, you are back and forth, you are not sure in what to do, and going back and forth causes doubt and whether you are aware of this or not.

I believe I've been very consistent with everything I said.

OUTSIDER : Please tell me where I told this mother to put her child out ? J-Kay

I reread your posts. I have somehow came to false conclusions about you and your stance on the issue. I apologize, it's a huge flop and it's quite embarrassing to say the least.

Outsider, these are good and honorable values to consider and Biblical. I respectfully would like to append these suggestions with the following comments that I believe should be implemented first: Considerations and appropriate accommodations made for the victims; after death or permanent physical/psychological damage it will be too late.
The son is under the influence of drugs, alcohol, and incest, which are mental and physically devastating effects and affects that alter sane reasoning. Many news reports serve as a reminder of how good intentions go awry. Case studies prove that in many cases the authorities find the entire family murdered and the guilty committing suicide. Until interventions can be placed, the mom should protect her other children and herself "FIRST". Even if there is guilt on all parties involved, who cares: the 21 year old son is committing the greater threat and potential for physical harm.

This situation requires removing the threat before there can be any restitution or reconciliation. Clearly this mom is in fear for her safety and that of her other children with a desperate plea for advise on how to save them all. The son is 21, not a child, he should act as an adult before he can be treated as an adult. He is making a conscience decision to stay in an incestuous affair. Why? The answer is simple, outside influences and a personal weakness to the relationship. Where is the aunt in this situation; she is guilt also?

Why are victims in this society constantly being placed in a position (whether in the minds of the people doing the judging or a judge in a court system) to make concessions for the guilty?

1. I never said the son shouldn't have been kicked out of the house. People said the mother should kick her son out and let God handle him. I expressed that the mother shouldn't just "kick him and leave him", she needed to figure out what the root of the issues are and try to fix those. Kicking him out may have been the right move, and in a later post I even stated this.

2. Just because case studies for certain situations exist does not necessarily mean they are common. There are cases where drug addicts kill their entire families. There are many, many, more cases where they don't. But this is a rather moot point because I never said he should have remained in the house to begin with.

3. "Why are victims in this society constantly being placed in a position (whether in the minds of the people doing the judging or a judge in a court system) to make concessions for the guilty?"

I simply suggested that the mother try and figure out if she may have possibly caused her son to act out in such horrible ways. It's ridiculous to suggest people don't evaluate the problem just because it's "technically" not their fault.

Sorry livingepistle, but you got everything about me and my posts completely wrong. Perhaps I deserved this since this is what I ended up doing to J-Kay on accident.

 

[yosh]

theres always prayer if you feel some type a way you really need to seek and pray to mashiyah our saviour once you get connected with him whom is in charge of this planet every thing living and every thing dead if your a reader of the bible you notice that he separates the good and bad in many ways theres numerous examples in the scriptures it seems to be that your son needs help maybe a good girlfriend i'll pray for him so keep me up to date with this issue ok may my eloahim bless you and keep you in his protective shalom

 

[BarlyGurl]

yes you were right... get a restraining order against him if he is going to interfere with your other children!

 

[homwardbound]

The reason I believe you should give yourself some credit is because you're the one who chose to act, be it by God's will. To say you did nothing, and the lord did everything, would suggest you didn't actually choose to do what was right, but instead God simply used you. If God uses people in such way, then there is no such thing as free will. If a person must choose to believe in God, then must he also choose to act in God's name as well?

I know it sounds like I'm telling you to take credit away from God, but taking some of the credit would show that it was you who decided to act in the name of God, not God who decided for you to act in the name of God. Perhaps this is my outlook because I was taught that for God to help an individual, the individual must meet God half way.

But, regardless of our disagreement, what's important is for us to show our love and help our friends and family in any way possible. As disheartened as I was when I originally posted, I'm glad to have talked to you and hattie. The two of you have shown me that not everyone here believes they should sit back and let God do all the work while they, themselves, do nothing.

outsider ThankYou for your loving comments back, About the credit it leads to pride and boastfulness and for mne I love to give God all the credit and if God give me credit back then so be it my treasures are stored in heaven.
And Yes we shall go on to fight the good fight. Now there is a scripture that pertains to it being all him and none of me. truly this is true in Salvation he did it all for all at the cross. Mankind had nothing to do with the salvation offered except to believe

 

[sunnygurl]

Regarding your comment Outsider of disowning her son, and not listening to the other people.

I found that very harsh as I never mention her disowning her child nor would I ever suggest such a thing. I only expressed support of her decision in removing him from her home.

When we are the most unlovable THAT is when we need the most love, however love does not mean allowing sin to run rappant in ones home. I believe it is out of love for all her children that this hurting mother has had to make this extremely hard decision, which is a burden any loving parent struggles to make but out of love it must be done.

I sure her heart will always be open to her son and I encourage that but as a loving parent it is important to set the standards for our homes and if our adult children whom we love can not respect the standards then as loving parents we have to make hard choices that we really would not choose to be making at all. Raising and living with adult children requires a common respect and love between both parties to work effectively.

My prayers will continue for this loving mother and her family.

 

[homwardbound]

Outsider accepted, and really no need to say that you apologize, for this is how we all learn is to actually listen and respond to each other in Love God's type best described in 1 Cor. 13
All in Love Brother experiences bad ones can stir up bees, flies and gnats. But in God the Love of is spread abroad in one's heart the new heart that wass recieved by Chriust att he resurrection of christ