don't feel loved loved, husband yells a lot

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BeanieD

Guest
#21
#21
Hi, I just want you to know you are not alone. I had a marriage of 7 years that ended at my husbands wish. Just like you except that he never put me down for weight. I had to pay my own way through the marriage, because in his mind, the only responsibility he had to me was to provide a roof over my head, power and water. Never got more than a card for Bdays, anniversaries, and a minimal token for christmas. All his money went to his son who abused all that his dad ever gave him, and on what ever HE wanted. We had slightly different beliefs, and he let that sort of determine where we went from there. Then came a time when I was no longer physically able to be intimate, he said it is done. Divorce filed by him not me. Tried to get counseling but after first visit with our pastor, he quit. Refused any other help or guidance.
All I can say hon, is just PRAY, PRAY, PRAY. Let God guide you and if it comes to an end, then let him do it and know that you have done all you can. God is in control, so let Him take the wheel.
In the love of our Lord blessings
 
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BeanieD

Guest
#22
#22
I will be praying for you as well.
 
RedTent

RedTent

Banned
#24
Oct 31, 2011
8,200
182
0
#24
I had the same problem, and found a solution to mine that worked. Probably isn't some formula for everyone, but you might something in my story that could help.

In my case it got so bad that I felt it was not right to stay in the same house with it. I went to a psychiatrist, laid all my and his cards on the table along with the fact that my one visit was all I could pay for.

In my case, I had lots of college, he had only to the seventh grade. I am a talker, he is a doer. I have average intelligence, he is a brain. The psychiatrist picked up on this based on his accomplishments I told of. By putting himself in my husband's place, he told me he probably did not recognize his intelligence but did recognize the difference in our education.

The prescription given me was first to get through to him the difference between intelligence and education, we were to feel equal.

Next he gave me a lesson in communication. I was to help him communicate. That meant for me to shut up with all I had to say (lots!!) until he felt listened to and understood. I was to help him express himself by telling him what he was saying, and keep doing that until he agreed I understood his point of view. That part had nothing to do with my agreeing with him, only in understanding this very inarticulate man. After that was done, I could give my point of view.

The psychiatrist's prescription worked.
 
RedTent

RedTent

Banned
#25
Oct 31, 2011
8,200
182
0
#25
RedTent said:
I had the same problem, and found a solution to mine that worked. Probably isn't some formula for everyone, but you might something in my story that could help.

In my case it got so bad that I felt it was not right to stay in the same house with it. I went to a psychiatrist, laid all my and his cards on the table along with the fact that my one visit was all I could pay for.

In my case, I had lots of college, he had only to the seventh grade. I am a talker, he is a doer. I have average intelligence, he is a brain. The psychiatrist picked up on this based on his accomplishments I told of. By putting himself in my husband's place, he told me he probably did not recognize his intelligence but did recognize the difference in our education.

The prescription given me was first to get through to him the difference between intelligence and education, we were to feel equal.

Next he gave me a lesson in communication. I was to help him communicate. That meant for me to shut up with all I had to say (lots!!) until he felt listened to and understood. I was to help him express himself by telling him what he was saying, and keep doing that until he agreed I understood his point of view. That part had nothing to do with my agreeing with him, only in understanding this very inarticulate man. After that was done, I could give my point of view.

The psychiatrist's prescription worked.
Click to expand...
No longer a member!! Oh Dear! Maybe someone in the same situation will read this, maybe learning my solution will help someone, yet.
 
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