Dreams and nightmares

[harmonymarie]

I'm a paramedic and early in July I responded for a call that ended up being for a rape. 3 days later, I started having dreams and nightmares. I've experienced sexual trauma, but there are things related I've never told anybody. I'm thinking the call has triggered the past experiences, and is causing the dreams/nightmares.

I talked to a chaplain at work about a month ago. In his opinion, he said there were elements of the dreams that were from my past and that I needed to talk about it. I wasn't ready then, but I am now to talk it out and move on. I've contacted him several times since, with the most recent being yesterday, to say I wanted to talk, as he had offered. But I still haven't heard anything.

Last week, I contacted a pastor and his wife from my church. He has a history of drug/alcohol addiction. And she has had an abortion, given a baby up for adoption, and has been raped. So I feel like they "get it" when it comes to baggage. I was supposed to talk to them last Thursday night, but she was sick due to her pregnancy.

I contacted another place a couple weeks ago and the lady i talked to was on vacation last week. But she hasn't emailed me back either about talking.

I had a counselor that does EMDR and I've emailed him and told him about the dreams I'm having.....and there's no response. After the call, I told him about the call, but it was before the dreams started. He said it sounded like I did everything I could for the girl. But thats it pretty much.

Just feel like I'm loosing this battle in my head. I get maybe 4-5 hrs of sleep a night, and that isn't restful. I've reached out, yet keep hitting brick walls. On my own, I've tried journaling, prayer, relaxation stuff, .....and a couple of times even alcohol...I know, not the best coping mechanism lol. Please don't lecture me on that!

I just don't know what to do. And I'm tired. Obviously, I know I need to talk to somebody. But what can I do while I wait for that to happen?

 

[shekaniah]

Harmonymarie,

We all have past hurts that satan will try to use against us.
Rebuke the lies he sends you!
Ask Jesus to give you his perfect peace.


Heavenly Father I lift your daughter up to you...
Break the stronghold of hurt in her life,
Replace it with songs of joy!
Give her the Peace that comes from you...
show her in her minds eye that all things work out for the Good,
for those who love Jesus!
Lord bring scripture to her mind to encourage her.
In Jesus Loving Name, Amen

 

[Lucy68]

Sorry that you're hurting

That is rather strange that no one has returned your calls....

Let's pray! Father, please open up an avenue for harmonymarie to get help in dealing with her past experiences so that she can move forward into an abundant life. Bind up any demons that are preventing her from receiving the help that she is now ready for. Send capable and loving people into her life who have experience with these issues.

Sister, may the Spirit come to you mightily and bring you peace and comfort...and a good night's sleep . And may He guide you in this process of healing. Praying that it's as painless as possible and COMPLETELY frees you from the past.

You are immensely loved

 

[PopClick]

Hello and welcome to Christian Chat, harmonymarie. I know you said that you've tried prayer, but I hope you'll keep at it, giving God all of your hurt and memories. "Cast your burdens to the Lord, and He will sustain you."
I will certainly pray for you, as well.

 

[pickles]

Hugs and welcome to cc harmony,
My daughter is a paramedic also, so I understands how some calls can be tramatic, and bring past hurts to one dreams and life.
Look at this as Jesus bringing healing in your life, for the memories you spoke to, need healing .
The time of year right now is lousy, as many take their last chance vacation, so do not be discouraged, Im sure you will have them contacting you soon.
Pray in Jesus before you sleep, or read a psalm, I like psalm 23 for this myself.
Also ask Jesus not just for healing, but for His forgivness for those who harmed you, for forgivness is the key to freedom of the past in Jesus.
You are in my prayers, for all healing, streangth, and a peaceful and sweet sleep in Jesus Christ is Lord.

Hugs and God bless
pickles

 

[harmonymarie]

thank you everybody.

 

[LWalters]

Hi Harmony
I too suffer from nightmares and have had severe sexual trauma. One thing that I found helpful was to "give in once" I designated time when I explained my entire situation to someone, I chose someone but I believe I could have done it just with Jesus but at the time my faith was not as strong as it is today. I took a period of a week an hour - 2 a day and explained in detail my entire experience to that person, I discussed my feelings and everything to that one person - I needed to discuss with a person not everyone does it would depend on you and comfort levels. This was quite hard to do, I cried, shook and even vomited a few times. But that was the only time that situation ever got to own me again, I have never needed to discuss it again with anyone. I thanked God for the healing he has given me as he pieced my heart together over the years but the instant relief I felt when I completed my week was amazing. I pray for God to protect my dreams and those nightmares have never returned. I do still suffer from nightmares I do not believe I have every had a good dream but that situation never haunts me again, God freed me and healed my heart. Psalm 23 is great but find your own to stand on as well God speaks to you differently than he speaks to me. I also like to keep a small note book that I list all the things I'm grateful for throughout the day. Be blessed and let God heal you, do not allow others to have any power of you, you are the Daughter of the most high and you walk with the authority of God Almighty nothing can stand against you when you stand with HIM.
I will pray in agreement with you - God Bless!
Lisa

 

[angel1581]

I will pray for you! Lots! Nightmares are horrendous!
God bless you

 

[Risen]

Roman 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Ephesian 6: 10- 12 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Mathew 22:29 Jesus replied, “You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God

Dear Heavenly Father, I pray and uphold harmonymarie into your presence. God you know what she is going through and I pray that you deliver her and you set her free for these bad dreams and nightmares. I pray that in the mighty name of Jesus Christ I bind these evil spirit that has been disturbing harmonymarie peace of mind, and cast it away into the wilderness. Dear Lord I pray that that you shield harmonymarie with your love, mercy and your blood and keep her safe in your love. I pray that she will be able to find committed and God fearing friends who will pray with her and to encourage her in her walk with you.
Dear Lord be her provider as well as her protector. In Jesus name I pray Amen

 

[psychomom]

Harmony! I am so sorry for all you're enduring.

I've had this happen, that I needed help and no one was available. For me the case was that, for a time, the Lord wanted me to just seek Him. ♥
I don't mean to imply this is the case for you right now, but just sharing my experience, just in case it blesses you.
In any case, I have prayed for you, beloved! And I do encourage you to seek Him while you wait for the help you need. Pray and listen for His voice. Read your Bible and listen to uplifting music. Offer a sacrifice of praise. (and sometimes it does feel like a sacrifice, doesn't it?) Not to say you do not so these things, just to encourage you to not give up.

Abba, I bring this beloved of Yours to Your precious mercy seat, made available to us by the sacrifice of Christ. Thank You for that sacrifice, and thank You for Harmonymarie! I know you love her, Abba, for you tell us so. I ask that You would fill her with the real knowing of that love, and how much You care for her; how deeply and intimately You are involved with her. I aks that You would silence the enemy and make any evil influences around her flee in Christ's Name.I ask You to give her deep, restful, undisturbed sleep, and that a counselor would contact her soon, very soon as we count it.
Lord, so many times we cannot perceive You as You go about Your work in our lives. I pray this will not be the case for our dear sister. I ask that she will know beyond anything logical that You are so very near to her. In Christ's mighty Name. Amen

love,
ellie
Deuteronomy 30 11-13
Michael Card wrote such a beautiful song about these verses:
The Word is so near to your heart and your tongue
With the one you confess and acknowledge the Son
With the other believe and are justified
And find life in knowing it was for you he died.

The Word (Jesus) is ever near you, beloved! When you rise up, and when you lie down. I pray you find rest in knowing (believing) He is closer to you than anything else in all creation can ever be. ♥

 

[harmonymarie]

So the counselor I talked to for 6 months emailed back last night. He said it didn't surprise him that I was still processing. Said that even when we were talking, he knew I was holding things inside. Said to keep journaling and talking things out. But how am I supposed to do that, when everyone who said they would help isn't there when I need it?

I dunno anymore.....frustrated.

 

[Jordache]

I have been there and I've found victory over them with the lords help. I have a few suggestions if I will Pm me. What ur experiencing is very common and it's called secondary trauma.

 

[harmonymarie]

I did. Sent you a email or pm or whatever you call it

 

[Lucy68]

I think what Lisa did would be extremely helpful....sounds like that's what you're trying to do but nobody will cooperate .

Maybe it doesn't have to be a 'counselor' ....do you have a mature Christian friend who will keep things confidential?

One book I really like is "Healing for Damaged Emotions" by David Seamands. It deals with DEEP hurts. I think everybody has damaged emotions to some degree, but some have really deep scars.

Praying for healing for you and someone you can talk to about your past

 

[harmonymarie]

I've asked in chat if i could talk to somebody. Nobody responded ......not even to say they couldn't or didn't want to. I feel like im lost in a desert and nobody cares .... yeah, God cares. I get that. I don't know. Sorry to bother anybody.

 

[psychomom]

You are NOT a bother, you are our sister, and the beloved of your Father! ♥
I prayed for you again today. Hang in there over the weekend. My guess is you'll be inundated with apologetic responses on Tuesday.
*sigh* I hate waiting, don't you??
I have patience with children, and that's about it. (but the Lord is faithfully teaching me, glory to Him!)
Don't lose heart, dear one! The Lord hears you. I don't know if you've seen me share this, but I have a friend who says the Lord answers prayer in four ways:
1) yes!
2) no
3) not now (or w-a-i-t)
4) I thought you'd never ask!

It's hard when His answer is #3, but He has a purpose in your life for this. It's a good purpose, too.
~ellie

 

[PopClick]

I've asked in chat if i could talk to somebody. Nobody responded ......not even to say they couldn't or didn't want to. I feel like im lost in a desert and nobody cares .... yeah, God cares. I get that. I don't know. Sorry to bother anybody.

Maybe you'll catch me in chat one day, or feel free to send me a message through my profile. I'm glad to listen to someone who wants to talk. So sorry that you didn't get the help you wanted.