Foster Parenting.

[ChrisR1993]

I am a 21 year old single guy. Recently My siblings were removed by the State because of my parent's drug use. To avoid putting them through the terrors of Foster Care, I agreed to take them in temporarily. I dont regret it one bit. But I have never had kids before, and now I have a 2 year old and a 9 year old. I never knew it could be so hard. I try to turn to God for help, but it just seems like hes not there. I enrolled them both in a Christian Daycare, and have tried really hard to keep things as normal as possible. Its very rough on me emotionally, and I don't really know how to care for two girls. They are going through a tramatic event as well, so I keep a smile on around them, but at night after bedtime I sit and Cry because Im way in over my head here. Im losing faith fast, as things just keep getting worse for me. I can't see the light at the end of the tunnell. Anyway, I rambled a bit. But what I really need is a verse, or advice on how to calm down and restore my faith a bit. I spend my days miserable because I feel as if I am not doing a good enough job, and that Im not a good enough parent to them.

Please Help.

 

[santuzza]

I commend you for taking on your siblings. Being a foster parent is hard enough when you already have life experiences to help you along, but at your age and with your experience, it truly must be terribly difficult.

What you need is more support. Talk to social services about respite care (so you have some time off for yourself every now and again). You should also be in some sort of support group (hopefully a Christian one). The nine-year-old should be in some sort of counseling as well to deal with the trauma of her situation. I trust you all are attending church together as a family and that your church has reached out to help you. If not, get to it.

It's not a failure on your part to reach out and ask for help!!! You are a young man with little experience, so you need the help and support -- it takes a lot of wisdom to know that you need that help and takes a lot of humility to ask for it. Again, I commend you on both accounts.

There are two things that you can do that will help you immediately. First, pray, pray, pray -- even if you don't feel like it!!! Second, praise God in all things. I know that sounds weird, but it works. And praise God for how He is going to come through for you -- you know He will -- just praise Him!

I'll be praying for you as well. I was a foster parent once, and I KNOW how difficult it can be.

 

[Hellooo]

God bless you for taking in your sisters! Your family is in my prayers.

 

[dalconn]

Isaiah 43:2 (NIV)[SUP]2 [/SUP]When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

 

[dalconn]

Lamentation 3:22
Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
[SUP]23 [/SUP]They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
[SUP]24 [/SUP]“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“Therefore I hope in Him!”

 

[PoetMary]

I'm typing this really big because I want you to make a BIG NOTE of this.

What you are experiencing is COMPLETELY NORMAL. In fact, brand new parents experience these EXACT feelings of being overwhelmed, out-of-control, and totally unqualified--and they're dealing with bright and shiny, trauma-free infants.

The fact that you are overwhelmed is NO indication that your faith is weak, or that you are not good enough. It simply means that you are dealing with something overwhelming.

So it's time to call in the troops--SERIOUSLY. You need to contact every friend you have and get them on board to help you in some way. Ask for people to plan and cook some meals for you so that's off your plate. Ask for others to help you out with how to deal with girls--how to fix hair, how to handle daily struggles like choosing clothes, bedtime, etc. Ask people with kids to make playdates with you and the kids so that you can get some adult advice. Get some friends to come over and do laundry with you. Anything to help ease your burden.

Make PARENT connections with people you work with. Get advice, make playdates, ask them for help. Even if they are only colleagues, you'll be surprised at how many are willing to step forward to help.

Find a GRANDMA or GRANDPA to help you out--church, work, neighborhood, school, etc. You need a MENTOR. Find someone who has raised children to help you out. Not just with advice, but practical help.

See if the state can connect you with a good counselor for the girls. Ask if they have any free parenting classes out there.

Go to your home church and ask for support. If you don't have a home church, ask people at the daycare about their churches.

And know that there are many of us here that are PRAYING FOR YOU and YOUR SISTERS.

 

[tenderhearted]

I am a 21 year old single guy. Recently My siblings were removed by the State because of my parent's drug use. To avoid putting them through the terrors of Foster Care, I agreed to take them in temporarily. I dont regret it one bit. But I have never had kids before, and now I have a 2 year old and a 9 year old. I never knew it could be so hard. I try to turn to God for help, but it just seems like hes not there. I enrolled them both in a Christian Daycare, and have tried really hard to keep things as normal as possible. Its very rough on me emotionally, and I don't really know how to care for two girls. They are going through a tramatic event as well, so I keep a smile on around them, but at night after bedtime I sit and Cry because Im way in over my head here. Im losing faith fast, as things just keep getting worse for me. I can't see the light at the end of the tunnell. Anyway, I rambled a bit. But what I really need is a verse, or advice on how to calm down and restore my faith a bit. I spend my days miserable because I feel as if I am not doing a good enough job, and that Im not a good enough parent to them.

Please Help.

As I read this I became so emotional. Simply because I could see God's glory revealed through you. You are truly being the hands and feet of God. One of my favorite scriptures is though my mother and father forsake me, you Lord receive me (Psalm 27:10). I love this scripture because it reminds me that I belong to God. Your parents may have abandoned you and your siblings, but God has you all in the palm of his hands. He is your father, provider, friend, defender.... He is the answer. I will keep you in my prayers.

 

[Acr96]

First of all God bless you for what you are doing for your siblings. You are not only setting a great example for them but to others. I know things seem rough, but God is ALWAYS there even when we may not feel his presence. I agree with what another person has said about asking someone for help when things seem a bit overwhelming. I understand that it's hard sometimes to depend on others because honestly even if people mean well they often can fail you. However I'm sure someone will be willing to help in some way. God has giving you the responisbility of these precious babies because I believe he knows you will be a great light to them and others. You are doing the right thing by already introducing them to Jesus. Keep praying and even when you don't see a way out just know God is already before you and has it all worked out.

Romans 8:31
what shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?

2 Corinthians 12:9
And he said unto me, MY grace is sufficient for thee, for MY strengh is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of CHRIST may rest upon me.