Friends in Church

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Anth07

Guest
#1
#1
Has anyone ever sat in church and watched everyone with their clicks and feels just so alone? When talking to some people they seem like your just not that interesting and don't really initiate conversation with you. Is it really necessary to have friends in church? I really gave up on trying to be close to anyone in church and try my best to focus on the one true friend Jesus. I know that since I stop caring about having friends I no longer am afraid of going to the front of the altar for prayer, or to have the pastor lay hands on me and encourage me. Is there some sort of unwritten rule that if you don't have friends in church that people look upon you the wrong way? Maybe it is all in my head, I don't know. My closest friends in my life don't even attend church, and they don't disrupt my christian walk, any thoughts on that??

P.S. If your reading this, God loves you and will get you through anything, all battles are won when we fight on our knees :)
 
Roh_Chris

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
#2
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#2
Anth, many outsiders feel that Christians are cliquey. In a way, they are right. Christianity is a fellowship begun by the 12 apostles and passed down through the generations. All the customs, like breaking of bread, caring for the poor & needy, ministering to the sick & weak, coming together to worship God, etc. are manifestations of the fellowship. In the early days, every visitor was made to feel welcomed. These days it has changed a lot. Churches are closely-guarded with 'rings of power' around the pastor in charge. That's not the way Christ wanted the Church to grow when he established it.

Your attitude is right, and I suggest that you stick to it. If the Lord guides somebody to befriend you at Church, feel free to mingle with them. Otherwise make sure that you enjoy His presence, and let Christ be the sole reason why you go to Church. The rest of the things will fall into place. :)
 
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Roughsoul

Guest
#3
#3
I also been taught a man will sharpen another man as iron will sharpen iron. Proverbs 27:17 iron sharpens iron; and one man sharpens another. I am considered an old soul so I never really connected with my own generation. Instead I enjoyed hanging with older men they taught me wisdom and knowledge that kids my own age sure wouldn't know yet. So if you feel like you cant fit into the groups your age has made. Well that's okay you will get so much more by hanging with older people. Try volunteering for things that have older men like my church has a group that builds ramps for wheel chairs. Don't go at religion alone its good for a Christian to be part of a Christian family. How else will you learn parts of the bible you don't understand. God def. did not intend for us to take on religion alone. Trust me I am the same way I cant stand my generation so I do have more older adults as friends. Also when I mess up and think Oh I really messed up this time. There is always one other man that had or did it worse and they help me threw it so that I may learn the wisdom to not do it again or teach my kid the warning signs on the path that his actions may lead. Not necessary keeping him from doing something bad but at least warn him. God is a great father and will let us be spiritual kids the same way when our parents say don't touch that its hot; what do we do we touch and get burned. God is the same way his bible tells us what to do and what not to do. And when we mess up as long as we still breathing God will want us to learn and love us no matter what because he expects his children to mess up time to time. He will keep teaching us by our own decisions so that we keep growing from a spiritual kid to a spiritual adult. This does not go by age it goes by how much wisdom and knowledge you have gained from studying and practicing Gods word.

Don't give up just connect with different people its good to have people who care for you when your down or hurt so I will pray for you in hope you can find some body to connect with.

Roughsoul
 
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megaman125

Guest
#4
#4
I feel like sometimes newcomers to the church and non-church goers have unrealistic expectations about going to church. It's as if they expect new and close best friends the moment they walk into a church. The reality is things don't always happen that way. Churches are full of people, not people who can read the minds of newcomers to know what they expect. It's not like I'd walk into the local mall and expect to walk out with new best friends that I can share secrets with. People are comfortable with people they know. Groups of friends in church and out of church are going to hang with each other because they're already friends. It would be weird to walk into any social place and not expect to see people hanging out in groups with friends that they know.

The church I go to I've been going to for 4 years now, and I didn't make new best friends my first visit. Here's my advice. Instead of going into church and staring at groups of people feeling resentful and waiting for them to come to you and meet your expectations (which are hidden to them), you should go to them. Get involved in the church. I have a handful of really close friends in the church now, and many many more that I'd consider friends. It didn't all happen within the first couple visits. But if you want to really speed things up, get involved and volunteer in the church. It's the best way to really meet people, and that's how I started getting involved. And don't think for a minute there isn't a place for you to volunteer. At the church I'm at, I volunteer in several different areas, and every ministry and aspect of the church is always looking for more volunteers.
 
G4JC

G4JC

Senior Member
#5
Feb 9, 2011
668
6
0
#5
Anth07 said:
Has anyone ever sat in church and watched everyone with their clicks and feels just so alone? When talking to some people they seem like your just not that interesting and don't really initiate conversation with you. Is it really necessary to have friends in church? I really gave up on trying to be close to anyone in church and try my best to focus on the one true friend Jesus...
Click to expand...
All the time! Not to mention most of the churches around here teach bold-faced heresy, get rich quick schemes, and other nonsense. My family and I gave up and started doing devotionals at home, it's been much happier ever since. :p

At least we have the internet for fellowship! :D
 
G4JC

G4JC

Senior Member
#6
Feb 9, 2011
668
6
0
#6
@megaman125: Fair ideas, but I tried that for a few years. You get really involved in your church and are close buddies with the congregation until you stop attending their church. Then they treat you like dirt and pretend you don't exist. Happened several times. Certainly not how Christ would have treated others.

A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. - Proverbs 18:24
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#7
Mar 26, 2014
4,328
2,361
113
#7
If you want to make friends at church get involved with a small group or some sort of outreach ministry etc. It is very unlikely that you will make friends if you just show up on Sunday morning and that 2 hours or so sitting in the same room with maybe 5 mins of conversation is all the interacting you do with people. And it takes time, time to feel like you have a history with these people instead of they have a history with each other and you are still the newcomer / outsider.
 
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