Funerals For Sinner and Saint

[J-Kay-2]

Am I the only one who has an issue with funerals for
sinner and saints ? Okay, like when you know someone
lived a very righteous life, it is easy for the person giving
the eulogy, to say they are now going to be with the Lord.
( How do we really know that ? ) Some people can be very
deceptive. Let's go with the assumption indeed she or he
is with the Lord. My best friend of 29 years, left no
doubt in my mind where she was. She lived it. This is
just an example.

Now for the sinner. The one you really know had never given
their life to Christ, and they die suddenly from car accident,
or drug overdose, etc. Or entertainers who are eulogized
as being in Heaven when their life was open book and people
knew they lived for satan.

Does it bother anyone else to see this take place in a funeral,
or memorial, to hear they are with the Lord now. It just
doesn't work that way.

Paul said, "to be absent in the body is to be present with the Lord."
However, Jesus tells us "those who believe on me shall be saved."
Believing there is a Jesus does not make a Christian. Remember
in Revelations we are told, " I rather you be hot or cold, and the
lukewarm will be spewed out." I know that refers to the Church.
But we as a body make up the Church also. Okay, that is a
different topic.

Back to question at hand. Am I the only one who think it is
difficult to hear this?

 

[starfield]

I too have thought of this, Ms. J-Kay. One ought to be careful they don't preach or pray the unsaved deceased into Heaven. You can lend comfort to the bereaved without presenting false hope. No one enters Heaven except through faith in Jesus (John 14:6) despite the nice eulogies that are said in memorial services. I think it's important that the reality of the gospel is shared in these services.

 

[p_rehbein]

Well, if I knew for a FACT that someone was not right with the Lord, then, yes it would bother me. Seems to me though that it is the families responsibility to inform the Preacher/whoever that is conducting the eulogy that the person was not a believer. Would save them from being red faced when they found out different after the service.

Now, I have a far different perspective than most folks concerning funerals...........I DON'T LIKE THEM. Especially when the person who passed on was known to be a believer in Christ........do we know all their hearts secrets? No, but we can believe that if they lived Christ like, that they probably were believers, and thus would become heirs of the Promise. I don't like all the "Viewings" and such.....all the weeping and eulogizing and stuff that goes on.

Seems to me that IF we KNOW that person was a believer, it should be a CELEBRATION!

So, I can ONLY conclude that funerals aren't really about the person who passed on, but about the folks still here......

Now, if we believe the person was not a believer...........THEN I can see reason for sorrow........for they will truly be lost for eternity, and that is cause for weeping in my opinion.

Let us CELEBRATE the BELIEVER who goes HOME...........and save our sorrow for the lost.....

(now, that's just me though)

 

[rainin]

This reminds me of something that happened at my dear friends funeral just a few years ago. His name was Danny. He struggled just as the rest of us do in this life with sin and such. I never knew if he had been saved as he never spoke of it one way or another. This man had been my friend for over 20 years and though he had never spoken of his faith through words he certainly did in his manner of life. I don't think I ever heard him speak a bad word about one person in all those years and he helped everyone that God put in his path. When the pastor was speaking at his funeral, he brought up the fact that Danny had never attended any of his sermons and had gone his own way in his life. He said that Danny was probably not in heaven because he hadn't attended church. This pastor had never met Danny but had decided his eternal fate based on his attendance at church. If Danny was a sinner or a saint is not for me to say. Neither was it for the pastor to judge. It was so painful for his mother to hear those words the pastor spoke about Danny. I feel that funerals are for the living as the dead are no longer in this world in any form. I feel the words a pastor speaks when talking of the dead should be chosen carefully and should be to comfort the living souls that have come to mourn and pay respects to their dead. To judge a man after he is passed is for the Lord to do. Only God can see the heart and all that is in it.

 

[J-Kay-2]

Thank you to all who have shared what I believe also.
1. I don't think we should say the person is with the Lord when
they lived like the devil. ( As we know, only God knows the heart)
however, the Word does tell us we are 'known by our fruits.'
2. I don't like funerals either. If I can possibly stay away, I do.
And as stated, if they are Christian and we believe they are
with the Lord, then it should be a celebration. And I have been
to some, the deceased isn't mourned. Especially the one we know
is at rest.
3. When it is a young person and it appears they left here before
they got to live out their life, it is sad and very hard of family
members and friends. ( What troubles me is the young who come
to funeral home and get high, knowing darn well it was alcohol and
drugs that took that life of the one we mourn.)
4. Any person giving eulogy and dare say unkind things is uncalled for.
No one knows for certain until they let out that last breath. Even
if we know they probably did not make it, there is a way around
sharing some good during a grieving time. ( Maybe ? )

When my daughter died, she died of hypothermia and it was lethal
alcohol in her system, age 45. She believed, she prayed, and many
know I have shared she fought the demons of alcohol for years. Ok,
when it came time for her funeral, my son in law being a Youth Pastor,
did her service. I asked him NOT to sugar coat the eulogy. He did
a great job. He spoke to her two young adult children and more or
less said, let her life be a lesson for them. Well, it didn't work.
One year and half later my precious Grandson, 22, died of combination
of alcohol and pain medication and he asphyxiated by slumping forward
and being bent at waist cut off his organs. He was found next morning
by his room mate.
I had no control of how that funeral took place. His father and family
were able to give him a more expensive funeral. A lot of young people
came, and they sat in the funeral held in Church, hearing nothing about
eternity. I would not expect the Priest ( Episcopal ) stand and sing
his praises, but it left one thinking you can sin and still go to heaven.
I will say here, I prayed for one year regarding my daughter and where
she was. For the first 3 days I was on my knees weeping and begging
God, please help me know how to deal with her life after death.
There will be some who will not believe me when I tell you so many things
God did show me, that I can't take time here to share, but I will tell you
I am 99% trusting I was hearing from Him. But, I really was tormented
because we all know the Word say an alcoholic can't enter the kingdom.
Even though she did not drink every day, she still was addicted. I was
told she did begin to try to quit for one month. That night she was bought
hard liquor, did her in. No parent should have to see their child's autopsy.
But it helped to know nothing was in her system with the exception of
alcohol. How sad. She was trying to start a new life. She knew she had
lost so much. Oh, and the autopsy showed she had 90% blockage in one
artery, high blood pressure, and hardening of arteries to kidneys. So in a
way her death was a blessing. She just went to sleep. It is hard to
tell any more right now. That was Jan 27. '07. I don't know about my
Grandson. I just have not allowed myself to dwell on it. I have peace and
will just let God take care of that.
So, I think we all have stories we can tell. I have been in presence in
a couple of funeral visitations and felt such evil around the person and had
to leave. I pray we all could be living for Jesus when we are called home.
The old song...."When we all get to Heaven, what a day of rejoicing that
will be." See you in Heaven ~

 

[Fenner]

I know what you mean J Kay, I've thought about this myself. I have learned over the years the best thing to say to a grieving person is, I'm sorry. I am sorry for their pain.

I have an in law who I love very much, but she and her family argue a lot. Anyhow I used to hear how awful this Aunt of their's was, just an awful mean person. I really didn't make any judgement of her myself, because I didn't know her well and she'd always been nice to me. Well she died, after she died they made this woman out to be a saint. It's very typical of her and her family. I kind of laugh it off, but in my mind I think, just because someone dies doesn't mean you have to like them.

I find that odd.

 

[p_rehbein]

It's the old adage........don't speak ill of the dead.......

 

[J-Kay-2]

I had an experience with my mother. She was a hard working woman and never
mistreated us. But she did have a mean streak the family knew it, others did, but
still liked her. We were close, but due to her controlling ways it was difficult to
keep from being ill or angry. As you know, some stories are just too long to tell in
order for one to understand where I am coming from.
If I tell you family got to the place where they did not visit her, and she lacked
any close friends, this should help you to understand what I am going to say.

She was bitter and angry with me after my daughter died. She did not even
speak to me at the funeral. The point here is, she was in a nursing home and she
began to slowly fail more with her health, and I always saw her every week.
Still the wall never could come down she had built up.

One Saturday, I get a call, letting me know I should come in. When I got there
they told her I was there and she shook her head NO. I told the girls " it is okay."
This was 11:00 AM ... My mother lay there dying quietly, but still aware of what
was going on. My husband and I were only ones with her and the girls left us alone.
I knew my mother was afraid to die. Yet she wanted to see my 18 yr old brother,
her baby, and my father. I began talking with her and explaining it was okay to
leave here. I laid my cheek against hers and whispered quietly to her the words of
encouragement. I prayed, I read the Word to her. Kept moistening her lips. She
still could not let death take her. Late in afternoon, I was still praying and
watching her lay there quietly. I could tell something was just not right. I picked
the Bible up again and opened just at random, and came to John 14. Jesus tells
her " I have gone to prepare a place for you......" She had been baptized and did
attend Church throughout the years. Raised in a foster home, attended Catholic
Church. I read the scripture to her and knew it was God speaking. I finally was
at the point I could do no more to help her, and I said to God, "Father God, what
do I do?" The Holy Spirit spoke these words to me to say.... " You spirit of
religion, I rebuke you and command you to release her now." She does not pray
to Mary, She is not going to purgatory. She is going into the arms of Jesus.

At that point she took on a glow, a transformation like I had never seen. No
make up artist could do to her what God did. She was beautiful. All the bitterness
in her face left. I thought to God.... " Father I could see her smile, I will know
she made it. " Just then she had the most beautiful smile upon her glowing face.
She let out 3 little wisps of breath and died the most beautiful woman I had
never thought possible. My husband and I were like, "Oh my gosh... "
She died at 6:00 PM that evening.

I went to get the nurses and they came in and made certain she had indeed passed
away. The girls could not believe her change in appearance. One girl came to the
funeral home and she came back telling them at the nursing home, ( they had seen
the woman who could be mean ) they were told she looked 10 years younger. It
as been easy to accept her passing. So, actually we never know about our loved
ones, even the mean ones. God gives them a chance if they have believed. He knows
their life and what makes them the way they are.

Right now I have a friend whose brother in law is near death and mean as a snake.
He refuses to accept the Lord. She is beside herself because he might not know Christ.
So we are praying with all in us he will call out to Jesus before he passes away.

 

[brokenclay]

Thank you J-Kay-2 for a beautiful story of God's grace in your mother's life. Your story of your mother reminds of something similar to my mother's life and my last window of opportunity. A shining face and a smile from heaven. Amazing Grace.

 

[wit2Christlv]

Ya but only God can judge because He not only knows our conduct but He knows our hearts.

 

[J-Kay-2]

Thank you J-Kay-2 for a beautiful story of God's grace in your mother's life. Your story of your mother reminds of something similar to my mother's life and my last window of opportunity. A shining face and a smile from heaven. Amazing Grace.

Oh brokenclay... thank you so much. It is something to behold to see a bitter
and angry person bound up for years , break free of bondage right before the
Lord takes their spirit, isn't it. I am so glad you can know what I say can happen,
and I am so glad it happened for your mother too. May they rest in peace until
we meet again ~

 

[J-Kay-2]

Ya but only God can judge because He not only knows our conduct but He knows our hearts.

The issue is bitter and sweet water cannot dwell in same well. When we have
Jesus as our Lord, and really know Him as Savior, we know the difference. I agree
God alone can judge the last breath they take. WE will one day know when we see
Him, all these things on Earth have been futile when we serve Him in our flesh.
May we be accounted worthy to be among the multitudes surrounding Him in Honor
Praise and Glory forever more.
But eternity awaits us. God bless.