Future relationship advice

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Lecrae

Guest
#1
#1
So there's this girl at my youth group that I think might like me more than a friend. I'd have to say that if she does, then that would be awesome because I sort of like her too. She's sort of shy (well, so am I, but that's besides the point) so she's a little hard to read. What are some good body language signs that point to her liking me? A few common ones that I already know of are excessive giggling, pointing her feet/body towards me even if she isn't talking to me, quick glances, and nervousness. I can tell you that she only fits 1 of those signs (that I've noticed) so I'm not quite sure if she likes me. So if you have any other body language tips that can help me read a shy girl, that would be awesome.

The reason I think she may like me is because she seems to have an easy time talking to me than to other people (that I've observed, anyways. May not be the case though). She and I are also pretty much always the last to leave youth group as well, and we usually leave at the same time as each other. I am sure she likes someone, but I am not 100% positive it is me. The reason I know she likes somebody is because her sister was asking her on facebook to talk about a 'certain someone' over the phone, and the way she was hinting at it, it looked like a 'certain someone' that she likes.

I've prayed over this but God has not revealed it to me yet if she is the right person for me. I have to be honest with myself and God and say I'm a little impatient because I've been waiting 17 years for the right person to come by. I've never been taken out on a date before and I've never had a girlfriend or a partner of any kind which makes me a little nervous if I ever decide it's the time to ask her out. I've been pre-dating her in my mind (not to sound like a creep or anything, lol) and I think she could just as well be the one for me, but I don't know if I'm the right person for her.

So, the main question of this thread is: How do you read a shy girl to see if she likes you or not?
 
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lightbliss

Guest
#2
#2
Being that I'm a shy girl, I may be able to help.

Don't ask her bluntly. Even if she does like you in that way, a shy girl won't like having her feelings exposed like that. Yes, exposed. For me, I view relationships as serious and something you don't talk about with everyone, so I tend to keep intimate emotions/feelings to myself. So if the guy, I "so utterly loved," found out that I liked him so, I'd be a little bashful. If you do ask, do so in all seriousness; be sure it's something you really want and don't play games.

It takes time for me to feel comfortable around people; until I do, I'm known, to them, as "The Shy Girl." So since the girl you're interested in is comfortable talking with you, that is definitely a good sign, especially considering that shy people tend to guard their hearts and won't let just anyone get close to them.

Personally, if I liked a guy, I'd be a bit red-faced and tongue-tied around him (aka nervous). I'd want our relationship to happen in a way that progresses from friendship to bf/gf without having a drastic change but when the time comes, you should talk about it (so you don't think you're her boyfriend but she doesn't see it that way or vice versa).

Basically, apart from being young, take your time. You're on the right tract and it may take a while (maybe even a few years) but her true feeling will shine through if you continue to be her good friend.

WARNING: Since we (naturally shy people) aren't so "out there" as other people, once we're comfortable with someone, we can and do trust them completely. Which means that when we experience hurt or disappointment from those we trust we tend to take it to heart, more so than extroverts (the experience is different for everyone but this statement is pretty general).
 
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Adrianv125

Senior Member
#3
Jan 17, 2011
567
12
18
#3
First off brother I'm going to tell you the most important thing, keep Christ as the center of your life and all your decisions and i'm not saying you aren't but this is the most important thing to do. Second, be yourself with this girl and always be honest to her and show her real friendship. Let her know you Love God before anything, let her know you are trustworthy, let her feel respected and once this happens everything else will come after. Once you figure out that she really enjoys your company, spend time with her and get to know her better, show her you care about her all the time, but don't say it to her at all because that's creepy, just show it. Make her laugh all the time, don't talk about serious stuff too much. Once she sees this in you she will start to like you and trust me you'll know. And once you've figured out she likes you, go somewhere where you'll both be alone and tell her exactly what you feel and what you think about her, face to face. And once you've been blessed to be in a relationship with her don't mess it up, keep Christ in the center of it. Never lose focus off of him, and don't fall to lusts and don't cause her to lust. Finally pray to God that he will guide you and do his will in you, because he knows what is best for you.

God bless you brother!
 
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Lecrae

Guest
#4
#4
"Being that I'm a shy girl, I may be able to help."

That statement scared me for a second because I misread it. At first I read it as "Being that I'm that shy girl, I may be able to help". Then I looked over at your age and you're the same age as her, so I was like, oh no, she has an account on this forum?! What a coincidence!! lol. But then I re-read that sentence...

"Don't ask her bluntly."

I'm too shy to ask her bluntly. I'm shy too so I know how she feels being a shy person, which is one thing we have in common.

"I'd want our relationship to happen in a way that progresses from friendship to bf/gf without having a drastic change"

That's what I am aiming for, but I don't want to seem like a creep to her just in case she doesn't like me that way. I'm trying to take it as slow as I can, but not too slow.

And thank you for the advice, Adrianv125! I will remember that
 
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lightbliss

Guest
#5
#5
XD

Okay, well, I hope everything turns out for the best.

God Bless :)
 
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xJoe

Guest
#6
#6
honestly I don't think this is the biggest thing God is worried about right now.
It may not be wrong and it could honestly be innocent but before God wants you involved with someone else he wants you involved and dedicated with him. All teens are at a growing age where they focus on God and figure out what his plans out for there life. They serve him and dedicate time to his word and his work to see how they can be of a service. My last relationship took away from my time with God. I had to worry about someone else and then have God there. Why would be my question and to further that. To what benefit? Dating is preparation to marriage and if that's not whats happening its just wasted time.
I don't say this to be harsh but honest. Even if you found the "one" it doesn't mean you should date her right away.
There is such a thing as right person at the wrong time. I know I am in no current state to date anyone but I can't say for you.
Will this benefit you and be a good use of time is what ill leave you with. If so then go for it.
 
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