Gay friends?

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Justcuz

Justcuz

Banned: 13 forum posts with blatant lies about CC
#1
Jul 6, 2012
172
1
0
#1
OK, this one is complicated for me, so i really need your advice on this...

This weekend a very good friend of mine invited me and a couple of my other friends to his house. We're a selected group of mates, that have known eachother practically since primary school. Usually we just meet up at one of our homes before we go out, but this time my friend wanted us to stay a little longer. His family already knew, but now he felt the need to come out to us too.

I´m the only christian in my friends group, but that was never a problem. They respect me, and try for instance not to curse in my presence. The fact that my friend wants to live a gay life was quickly accepted too, but i´m having a lot of problems with that it. I mean, i can put up with a lot of things, but isn´t this just going just a step too far? I really don´t want to lose him, and as i far as i know he doesn´t want to lose my friendship too. I prefer to hate the sin, and not the sinner, but this could well break our friendship apart.

What if he decides to bring a boyfriend with when we go out? It has never been a problem if we brought our girlfriends with, so i guess my friends will accept that too. I´m afraid that my standpoint in this will also make me lose the other friends of my friends group, if they, with their liberal norms, choose sides. Ofcourse i have friends in my local church too, but i really don´t want to lose my old friends too...
 
J

justbelieve

Guest
#2
#2
Hey this is Josh (justbelieve) :)
It sounds to me like God has you with that group of friends for a reason... you're the only Christian. It also sounds like you're already making an impact on them... they try not to curse when you're around.
Remember that we are always to follow the example of Jesus... He spent time with and even went to the homes of sinners. Therefore we must also be friends with/ be involved in the lives of non-believers... but for a very special and important reason:
We are to be the light of God to them... they need to see Jesus in us!
It's NOT your job to try and change or save your gay friend (or anybody)... only GOD can do that! But God does want us to "plant His seed" in those people we know who do not yet follow Him.
* Pray for your friend... that's the best and most important thing you can do for ANYONE.
* Invite your friend to church... especially youth events, which are less "threatening" and more comfortable for non-believers.
* If you get a chance or it comes up... share your beliefs and God's Word with your friend. Don't "preach" or talk down to your friend in any kind of judgemental way... just talk to him like you would about anything else.
Remember... you should be the most influential person in your group... with ALL your friends. In order to do that... with God's help, you have to do your best to walk the Christian walk and not just talk the Christian talk. Actions speak louder than words.
I'm proud of you. But most importantly... God is proud of You :D
God bless you son :)
 
Mediate

Mediate

Banned
#3
Dec 14, 2009
1,400
2
0
#3
Justcuz said:
OK, this one is complicated for me, so i really need your advice on this...

This weekend a very good friend of mine invited me and a couple of my other friends to his house. We're a selected group of mates, that have known eachother practically since primary school. Usually we just meet up at one of our homes before we go out, but this time my friend wanted us to stay a little longer. His family already knew, but now he felt the need to come out to us too.

I´m the only christian in my friends group, but that was never a problem. They respect me, and try for instance not to curse in my presence. The fact that my friend wants to live a gay life was quickly accepted too, but i´m having a lot of problems with that it. I mean, i can put up with a lot of things, but isn´t this just going just a step too far? I really don´t want to lose him, and as i far as i know he doesn´t want to lose my friendship too. I prefer to hate the sin, and not the sinner, but this could well break our friendship apart.

What if he decides to bring a boyfriend with when we go out? It has never been a problem if we brought our girlfriends with, so i guess my friends will accept that too. I´m afraid that my standpoint in this will also make me lose the other friends of my friends group, if they, with their liberal norms, choose sides. Ofcourse i have friends in my local church too, but i really don´t want to lose my old friends too...
Click to expand...

The issue isn't your gay friend. He has made his choice. And I'm sure he knows God's view on the subject.

But take your eyes off your friend for a second and look at you. Christianity isn't about judging others, it's about changing ourselves. What is God's view on how we should treat a homosexual?

Well, a homosexual is committing a sin . . . Do you commit sins?

Did the prostitutes with Jesus commit sexual sin? How did He treat them?

Did He focus all His energy on judging and condemning them? Or did He love them?

You cannot change your friend's decision. You will have to accept that you cannot force him to change.

Losing you as a friend would be tough for him. And pointless for you.

Nowhere does God command you not to be friends and love your homosexual friend. Just like Jesus didn't stop eating meals and being friends with prostitutes.

They lived in sin, just like your friend. Yet Jesus drank, ate and gave to them.

It sounds anti-christian, but trust me, it is not; you will have to ignore your friends sin.

You cannot change it. This is something you need to accept. Your friend knows God's view. You would not be doing anything bad in God's eyes if you continued to be his friend, in fact I'd say the contrary.

It is HIS choice, not yours. All you can do is continue to be there for him.
 
Williampy

Williampy

Banned
#4
Aug 8, 2012
42
0
0
#4
Be thankfull that u have a friend.Personnaly i have 0 friends in my country,it would be nice for me to be friends with sinners and murderers and criminals,know why?They axept me for me and i axept them for them.Its easier to be friends with a sinner than a christian for me.

Christians should not judge others by their sins only by their hearts,thats why i have no friends,because i cant be friends with dark hearts,even a serial murderer has a good heart,but a person who seems so diciplined and well behaved and friendly still has a dark heart,this is my advice to u,judge only by their goodness not their sins!:cool:
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#5
#5
It really shouldn't matter. You're saying 'hate the sin, love the sinner', but when it comes time to put words into actions you aren't able to live it out. You need to decide if you really, truly believe the words you preach, or just say them because its the right thing to say. Because if you can't stay friends with this guy over this, then you need to stop using that statement because its not true for you. And for the record, i do believe homosexuality is wrong. But a friend is a friend. As long as you are not being brought down by someone there is no reason not to be friends with them.
 
K

kateyheartsmusic

Guest
#6
#6
it doesn't matter what your friend is, God made him that way. i know as Christians i'm "supposed" to think gayness is wrong, but it's not. They are born that way. God loves absolutely everyone because we are ALL made in his image. Love your neighbors and enemies. I hope you make a good decision here. I have a ton of gay friends and I have to say, they are some of the best people you could know. :)
 
TomB_2012

TomB_2012

Banned
#7
Mar 1, 2012
117
2
0
28
#7
I agree with kateyheartsmusic. It doesn't matter what their sexual orientation is. They are some of the best people you will ever know.

I have two friends (a boy and a girl) who are bisexual and another friend (a boy) who recently came out of the closet and stated that he is gay.

The bisexual boy admitted that he has feelings for me and even said that he would love to have a relationship with me. Nothing happened between us. We are just friends.

The bisexual girl kissed my ex-girlfriend twice. Once to show her how to perform a "French Kiss" and another time while playing "Spin the Bottle". I was playing too. I wasn't that bothered that she kissed her. My ex-girlfriend got a bit jealous when me and the bisexual girl kissed playing "Spin the Bottle". But anyway, I think (I have forgotten a bit of it) she stated today that she may of generated feelings for me after the second time that I kissed her (she was cold, sick and upset.) I wonder still to this day (it happened two years ago) why I kissed her the second time. I believe that it was for comfort and support. These had nothing to do with the break-up. She is a great girl and I would lay down my life for her.

The homosexual didn't admit any feelings to me. We are just friends. We used to be in a band together. He plays the drums. That is where I got to know him. The band broke down about two years ago because we had no money. He is a good lad.

I was possibly the only person in my old church who didn't sign the petition to stop the government from making homosexual marriage legal. I believe that people should have the right to marry whoever they want. If a friend of mine married someone of the same gender, I wouldn't think less of them.

If I saw someone making fun of a gay/lesbian person or couple or a bisexual person, whether that person was a Christian or not, I would walk over and tell them to leave them alone. If it turned into a fight (with a boy or man), so be it. I'd defend myself by hitting them back. If it was with a girl or woman, I'd stop them hitting me, but I wouldn't hit them.
 
L

Lucy68

Senior Member
#8
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#8
kateyheartsmusic said:
it doesn't matter what your friend is, God made him that way. i know as Christians i'm "supposed" to think gayness is wrong, but it's not. They are born that way. God loves absolutely everyone because we are ALL made in his image. Love your neighbors and enemies. I hope you make a good decision here. I have a ton of gay friends and I have to say, they are some of the best people you could know. :)
Click to expand...
God does love everyone and wants everyone to be saved. Yet it is the individual's decision...whether to live their life God's way or their own way.

God's Word is the truth and sometimes it's hard to accept. His Word plainly teaches that homosexuality, or any sexual immorality, is a sin:

Revelation 21

He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
6 He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. 7 Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children. 8 But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars —they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”

1 Timothy chp 1:
8 We know that the law is good if one uses it properly. 9 We also know that the law is made not for the righteous but for lawbreakers and rebels, the ungodly and sinful, the unholy and irreligious, for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers, 10 for the sexually immoral, for those practicing homosexuality, for slave traders and liars and perjurers—and for whatever else is contrary to the sound doctrine 11 that conforms to the gospel concerning the glory of the blessed God, which he entrusted to me.
 
H

HannahColleen

Guest
#9
#9
You have no justifiable reason to quit being his friend, did he quit being your friend because you are a Christian?
I could be totally wrong, but have you ever thought you are his friend for a reason? Maybe God wants you to "bring him to Jesus". How are you suppose to do that if you quit being his friend just because he is gay.
 
C

Colt

Guest
#10
#10
Mediate said:
The issue isn't your gay friend. He has made his choice. And I'm sure he knows God's view on the subject.

But take your eyes off your friend for a second and look at you. Christianity isn't about judging others, it's about changing ourselves. What is God's view on how we should treat a homosexual?

Well, a homosexual is committing a sin . . . Do you commit sins?

Did the prostitutes with Jesus commit sexual sin? How did He treat them?

Did He focus all His energy on judging and condemning them? Or did He love them?

You cannot change your friend's decision. You will have to accept that you cannot force him to change.

Losing you as a friend would be tough for him. And pointless for you.

Nowhere does God command you not to be friends and love your homosexual friend. Just like Jesus didn't stop eating meals and being friends with prostitutes.

They lived in sin, just like your friend. Yet Jesus drank, ate and gave to them.

It sounds anti-christian, but trust me, it is not; you will have to ignore your friends sin.

You cannot change it. This is something you need to accept. Your friend knows God's view. You would not be doing anything bad in God's eyes if you continued to be his friend, in fact I'd say the contrary.

It is HIS choice, not yours. All you can do is continue to be there for him.
Click to expand...

Props to Mediate for that, I have gay friends I need to be less judgemental too as well.
 
lil_christian

lil_christian

Senior Member
#11
Mar 14, 2010
7,489
73
48
27
#11
Justcuz said:
OK, this one is complicated for me, so i really need your advice on this...

This weekend a very good friend of mine invited me and a couple of my other friends to his house. We're a selected group of mates, that have known eachother practically since primary school. Usually we just meet up at one of our homes before we go out, but this time my friend wanted us to stay a little longer. His family already knew, but now he felt the need to come out to us too.

I´m the only christian in my friends group, but that was never a problem. They respect me, and try for instance not to curse in my presence. The fact that my friend wants to live a gay life was quickly accepted too, but i´m having a lot of problems with that it. I mean, i can put up with a lot of things, but isn´t this just going just a step too far? I really don´t want to lose him, and as i far as i know he doesn´t want to lose my friendship too. I prefer to hate the sin, and not the sinner, but this could well break our friendship apart.

What if he decides to bring a boyfriend with when we go out? It has never been a problem if we brought our girlfriends with, so i guess my friends will accept that too. I´m afraid that my standpoint in this will also make me lose the other friends of my friends group, if they, with their liberal norms, choose sides. Ofcourse i have friends in my local church too, but i really don´t want to lose my old friends too...
Click to expand...

Sounds like you're really struggling with how to respond to your friend =\

I would too if I had gay friends (never have known anyone gay).

I'd definitely pray on it...I mean, definitely be their friend and love on them with the love of Christ. But definitely pray on how you should respond in certain situations like, for example, if he did bring a boyfriend with him while you guys are out. How do you think Jesus would respond? What do you think Jesus would do if they started to get all lovey dovey?

Maybe, not saying you should, but MAYBE, you could set up a few minor boundaries with the life he lives? Not sure because I don't know him, but, really try and seek out what you think (or what God thinks) would be best for your friendship with him.
 
A

Aqua_Girl09

Guest
#12
#12
The only Jesus that people will see is the Jesus that you show them. he wasn't a person to go around throwing stones. he talked with them and showed them the light. now if they decide to start making out in front of you he knows good a well you're not for that and i'd leave the room, but its important that they see that God is loving and not some spiteful hateful person like so many people are out to show. what hes doing is wrong. but if you stop being is friend he might loose those seeds that you could be planting ^_^

that aside. if these "old friends" are pulling you away from God and you're struggling with your own faith because of them its time to pull away and build a better foundation in God before hanging out with ppl who will pull you down.

I have lots of friends that are gay, bi, smoke, drink, have sex, and a BUNCH of different religions. i don't spend all my time with them cause i know i'm the type of person who is easily dragged into their mess. but i know that them seeing me is their way of seeing Jesus and maybe i can help them see what hes really about.
 
Mediate

Mediate

Banned
#13
Dec 14, 2009
1,400
2
0
#13
Aqua girl, that line 'the only Jesus people will see is the Jesus that you show them'.

^^ That should be scripture. It's so easily forgotten that Jesus led by example. Thank you for that. I could never quite put it into words as simple as that.
 
Justcuz

Justcuz

Banned: 13 forum posts with blatant lies about CC
#14
Jul 6, 2012
172
1
0
#14
Thank you for all of your useful and interesting suggestions.
You all have been very kind... God Bless.
 
W

wwjd_kilden

Guest
#15
#15
Many of Jesus' friends were were "the worst kind of people" of that time ;) Lead by example
 
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