Girl I have history with

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Z

zczako

Guest
#1
Hi people

At a struggle in my life where a girl I have history with has come back into my life after we fell out and broke up badly a year ago

Problem is, she doesn't share my Christian views and is in no way my type of women because of this I guess.

The thing is she is very beautiful and we have great chemistry together and as much as I don't want to like her I do and she likes me.

Any help please?!!
 

Spartacus1122

Banned [Reason: insulting CC admin in previous pos
Jun 9, 2012
276
1
0
#2
The thing is she is very beautiful and we have great chemistry together and as much as I don't want to like her I do and she likes me.
In other words, it's mostly physical than spiritual, hahaha.
Been there, done that! I am still going through that experience periodically, since we both have a "thing" for each other, but we are clearly incompatible. I know she is wrong for me, but then there's that "thing" that just clicks.

You have to options:

1) Ride the wave. Go along and play the game, just don't fall in too deep or you will be emotionally scarred, or worse, may end up marrying the girl for the obvious wrong reasons. If a child comes along... oh boy. So although this may be the more gratifying, it has a higher risk of problems and of course, "sinfulness" (if you wanna put it that way).

2) Think with your head, not with your... ehem... (as so many of us have done, haha) and realize that despite the chemistry at the surface, deep below there is nothing substantial that would support a meaningful, long-term relationship with her. This is what I have done after fooling myself for nearly a year with the aforementioned relationship.

A loving, meaningful relationship is like a home. It needs good, strong foundations in order to sustain itself and last for years to come. If it based on loose soil and superficial façade, it is bound to come crumbling on your head.

Like I said, I've been there and still dealing with the emotional ups and downs, but in the end..... trust me, it ain't worth it.

Best of luck to you!
 

niceguyJ

Senior Member
Feb 5, 2011
520
25
28
#3
I'm not sure what your intent is. Are you hoping someone here will tell you it's okay? ..or just looking for confirmation that you are right in recognizing the problem?
I'll give you the latter and say avoid her. God first.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#4
People seem to think 'chemistry' with another person someone means they're supposed to be with someone, whether its smart or not. Just because there's 'chemistry' doesn't mean go for it. You had a bad break up once, now, shes not a Christian, what difference does it matter if shes gorgeous and there's Chemistry? Often times that 'chemistry' is just that, chemicals in the brain that produce a happy euphoric feeling. This happens when you feel a romantic connection with someone, and continues on about 6 months into a dating relationship. After 6 months this chemical stops producing, which is why so many relationships don't last much past 6 months, because the relationship is founded on that feeling, rather than there being anything real between the people. Don't let brain chemistry influence your romantic decisions.
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#5
People seem to think 'chemistry' with another person someone means they're supposed to be with someone, whether its smart or not. Just because there's 'chemistry' doesn't mean go for it. You had a bad break up once, now, shes not a Christian, what difference does it matter if shes gorgeous and there's Chemistry? Often times that 'chemistry' is just that, chemicals in the brain that produce a happy euphoric feeling. This happens when you feel a romantic connection with someone, and continues on about 6 months into a dating relationship. After 6 months this chemical stops producing, which is why so many relationships don't last much past 6 months, because the relationship is founded on that feeling, rather than there being anything real between the people. Don't let brain chemistry influence your romantic decisions.
Word.

I used to think compatibility had something to do with it. Not so much. (experience tells me this)

Chemistry... not so much. it fades.

hmm... the more I learn, the less I know about anything any more.
 
S

SocialArtist

Guest
#6
How women have I had "chemistry" or "a connection with" only to see it fade into oblivion just as fast as she arrived in my life
 
May 29, 2012
46
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#7
Now is it Love or is it an infatuation the reason you like this woman. Chemistry can be dangerous if is not mixes right. Relationships based on a sexual attraction don’t last long unless god meant for you two to be together. We are not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever for its hard enough as it is. So if she don’t share your believes you may give up your to be with her.
Stop drop to your knees and pray for Jesus to give you the answer. Wish you the best no matter what you decide to do