C
so i was saved as a 12 year old - but strayed in my late teenage years - cut through to mid-late 20's
I left my office job that i wasn't happy in (thinking i would get another job as I usually would in office, but then the job crisis happened) I was out of work for over a year and i started to get (what the doctor called) situational depression, & put me on a medication. (i had an allergic reaction to medication that cause a dystonic reaction in my tongue - going stiff and i felt like i couldn't breath) this unfortunately brought on a panic attack, i started getting these daily to several times a day. I ended up suffering from a panic disorder that was caused via medication - and i ended up developing a phobia (brought on by the panic attacks), i was unable to go away from home for 1 year. I knew in my mind that i could get through but i just couldn't shake the disorders (with no meds as i also developed a fear of medications).
I was channel surfing on sky and found the channels shine and daystar, GOD, this had attracted me and i was watching daily (for hours). I have always believed in GOD, but felt because i had strayed i would not be worthy of his help. i started to build a relationship with him again - although not fully (feeling not worthy)
One day i had a massive panic attack, once i came through it, i dropped to the floor and started crying (very hard), i wanted my life back, i wanted to feel love joy happiness, all the good things these problems were taking from me. I wanted to be me again!!
I remember i started crying and shouting out at the same time...GOD HELP ME, PLEASE GOD HELP ME, PLEASE LORD HELP ME, I WANT MY LIFE BACK, I NEED YOU. I had basically gone on like that for 10 mins and then i stopped crying all of a sudden. I felt a little peace i couldn't explain. Then throughout the first week, my panic attacks lessened, the second week i was able to go out about 15 min from home without having a panic attack, third week i was able to go on a bus and go around town, the fourth week i was able to leave home and go away with my other half for a weekend. GOD HELPED ME!!!! HE ANSWERED MY CALL/prayer!!!!!
I remember getting back for the first time after going away, i went for a walk to the beach and i just sat there and cried (happy/overwhelmed cry), i felt GOD with me.....and i still do and it still makes me cry a happy/overwhelmed cry...that our awesome GOD would want to be with me...me a small person in this world who has not done anything big or significant....ME!!....it still moves me!!!!
I left my office job that i wasn't happy in (thinking i would get another job as I usually would in office, but then the job crisis happened) I was out of work for over a year and i started to get (what the doctor called) situational depression, & put me on a medication. (i had an allergic reaction to medication that cause a dystonic reaction in my tongue - going stiff and i felt like i couldn't breath) this unfortunately brought on a panic attack, i started getting these daily to several times a day. I ended up suffering from a panic disorder that was caused via medication - and i ended up developing a phobia (brought on by the panic attacks), i was unable to go away from home for 1 year. I knew in my mind that i could get through but i just couldn't shake the disorders (with no meds as i also developed a fear of medications).
I was channel surfing on sky and found the channels shine and daystar, GOD, this had attracted me and i was watching daily (for hours). I have always believed in GOD, but felt because i had strayed i would not be worthy of his help. i started to build a relationship with him again - although not fully (feeling not worthy)
One day i had a massive panic attack, once i came through it, i dropped to the floor and started crying (very hard), i wanted my life back, i wanted to feel love joy happiness, all the good things these problems were taking from me. I wanted to be me again!!
I remember i started crying and shouting out at the same time...GOD HELP ME, PLEASE GOD HELP ME, PLEASE LORD HELP ME, I WANT MY LIFE BACK, I NEED YOU. I had basically gone on like that for 10 mins and then i stopped crying all of a sudden. I felt a little peace i couldn't explain. Then throughout the first week, my panic attacks lessened, the second week i was able to go out about 15 min from home without having a panic attack, third week i was able to go on a bus and go around town, the fourth week i was able to leave home and go away with my other half for a weekend. GOD HELPED ME!!!! HE ANSWERED MY CALL/prayer!!!!!
I remember getting back for the first time after going away, i went for a walk to the beach and i just sat there and cried (happy/overwhelmed cry), i felt GOD with me.....and i still do and it still makes me cry a happy/overwhelmed cry...that our awesome GOD would want to be with me...me a small person in this world who has not done anything big or significant....ME!!....it still moves me!!!!