Helping boyfriend

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Daynas

Guest
#1
#1
I was just needing help with my boyfriend who's recently lost his faith and he's really struggling with life and all he keeps asking is why would god let bad things happen to good people and why has he never answered his prayers, he's lost many loved ones and doesn't understand why bad things always happen to him
Any ideas as to how I could help?
Thanks
 
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Ugly

Guest
#2
#2
Because by biblical standards there is no such thing as a good person. The 'good person' mentality is a human concept, not one founded on the teachings of God. God says we are all sinners and our righteousness is as filthy rags. The idea that we deserve better treatment for being 'good' is based in works. But God does not judge us by our good works. Our good works should be an outward expression of the inward change inside of us, not something we brag about or use to show our level of spirituality.

And really, bad things happen to everyone. Has your boyfriend read the bible? The bible is full of all kinds of bad things happening to the people of God. The Jews were in slavery to the Egyptians. Most of the Apostles were imprisoned and/or killed. People were fed to lions, put in furnaces,

The problem here is in viewing things as happening to him. If he's lost a lot of loved ones and he views people dying as happening to himself, rather than the truth, which is it is more about those people, than him, that's part of the problem he's having in his perceptions. People die. He may be affected, but it's not happening 'to him'.

Really, no one can answer why this happens. Why bad things often happen to some while others seem to have few problems. People can give you answers. Make suggestions. But in reality none of us have any real knowledge as to why.
The issue is that he is choosing to perceive the events going on around him.

My guess about why he feels God doesn't answer his prayers could be that maybe he doesn't know God that well. He has an obvious misunderstanding of scripture, or perhaps lack of understanding. So perhaps that's where much of what's going on with him lies.
 
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Daynas

Guest
#3
#3
Ugly said:
Because by biblical standards there is no such thing as a good person. The 'good person' mentality is a human concept, not one founded on the teachings of God. God says we are all sinners and our righteousness is as filthy rags. The idea that we deserve better treatment for being 'good' is based in works. But God does not judge us by our good works. Our good works should be an outward expression of the inward change inside of us, not something we brag about or use to show our level of spirituality.

And really, bad things happen to everyone. Has your boyfriend read the bible? The bible is full of all kinds of bad things happening to the people of God. The Jews were in slavery to the Egyptians. Most of the Apostles were imprisoned and/or killed. People were fed to lions, put in furnaces,

The problem here is in viewing things as happening to him. If he's lost a lot of loved ones and he views people dying as happening to himself, rather than the truth, which is it is more about those people, than him, that's part of the problem he's having in his perceptions. People die. He may be affected, but it's not happening 'to him'.

Really, no one can answer why this happens. Why bad things often happen to some while others seem to have few problems. People can give you answers. Make suggestions. But in reality none of us have any real knowledge as to why.
The issue is that he is choosing to perceive the events going on around him.

My guess about why he feels God doesn't answer his prayers could be that maybe he doesn't know God that well. He has an obvious misunderstanding of scripture, or perhaps lack of understanding. So perhaps that's where much of what's going on with him lies.
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He's such an amazing person I might be biased in saying that but he lost his mother when he was only 17 and took in his four younger siblings and then a year after that the younger one passed away as well

He's grown up a Christian but can't seem to understand the things going on around him which I completely understand his job is saving the lives of other people and I don't understand either why these things happen not only to him but even people who are the closest to God obviously his faith has fade gradually since his best friend and bother died after a stabbing when he was as young as 16 I understand that gods not trying I punish him or those people that have died at such young ages when there's no way they've done anything wrong obviously by these messages you can see I don't have the strongest faith either which is why I'm trying to understand how to make it easier for the both of us
 
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Ugly

Guest
#4
#4
A person weak in their own faith and understanding isn't likely to do much to encourage someone elses faith. If you don't have your own faith how can you expect to build anothers?

I get the questioning. I've had a lot of bad in my life as well, but the whole idea of faith is trusting what you can't see or understand. What his questions and doubts are have been around forever. There is no clear cut answer.
We just live in a world of sin, sin causes sickness, it causes anger, murder and all sorts of things. Things happen. That's why there is a world wide sex trade full of children and young girls starved, drugged and forced into all kinds of perversion. Why does God allow this? Because people have the freedom to do things.
Why does God allow sex trades?
Why does God allow war?
Why does God allow homelessness?
Why does God allow...... you can add 100 more words here. Rape, torture, murder, kidnapping, abuse, premarital sex, cancer, diseases of all kinds. Because we have free will. And we live in a broken world, in broken bodies and minds and hearts.
There is no answer that will satisfy that question, we just have to have faith that God sees more than we do and pray that the end results will work for the best.
 
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Daynas

Guest
#5
#5
Ugly said:
A person weak in their own faith and understanding isn't likely to do much to encourage someone elses faith. If you don't have your own faith how can you expect to build anothers?

I get the questioning. I've had a lot of bad in my life as well, but the whole idea of faith is trusting what you can't see or understand. What his questions and doubts are have been around forever. There is no clear cut answer.
We just live in a world of sin, sin causes sickness, it causes anger, murder and all sorts of things. Things happen. That's why there is a world wide sex trade full of children and young girls starved, drugged and forced into all kinds of perversion. Why does God allow this? Because people have the freedom to do things.
Why does God allow sex trades?
Why does God allow war?
Why does God allow homelessness?
Why does God allow...... you can add 100 more words here. Rape, torture, murder, kidnapping, abuse, premarital sex, cancer, diseases of all kinds. Because we have free will. And we live in a broken world, in broken bodies and minds and hearts.
There is no answer that will satisfy that question, we just have to have faith that God sees more than we do and pray that the end results will work for the best.
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I can't find answers for him... Exactly why I made this post
Yea and he gets there's other people going through hardships but another question he asked is why does he get sick and his mother and sister and brother die and the rapists and murders etc get to walk free he's just struggling and I was trying to find help and I thought someone here could help
 
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Ugly

Guest
#6
#6
It's all stated in my previous posts. He's judging fairness by human standards, not Gods. According to God we're all a bunch of worthless sinners deserving of hell. Just because some of us are bigger sinners than others doesn't negate the fact that, at the end of the day, even the 'best' people are still sinners.
And, really, he's making a lot of broad based assumptions, not utilizing facts. The idea that all these rapists and murders are healthy and unburdened while all the 'good' people are sick and dying just isn't based in any sort of verifiable reality. He really has no clue what all the murders and rapists and such are going through. And there are a lot of 'good' people who don't go through many bad things. And how many people who are sick and or disable would be out doing horrible things if they were healthy enough. He's basing his views on what supports his feelings rather than being clear minded and logical.

Well, this is the help you're seeking. I'm giving it to you. It may not be the answers you were hoping to find, but it's truth. Truth doesn't always satisfy our expectations, nor is it intended to. There are no easy answers to his questions. His questions and doubts are nothing new. These same thoughts and questions have been around a long time, and yet, no one has found an easy answer. The only answer is what i've been saying. Good and bad things happen to both good and bad people. And that the 'good people' concept is not one that is supported in the bible, but is only a human standard, not a Godly one.
 
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