I think I had forgiven my abusers and have gone on with my life. I don't wish them bad and want nothing from them, not even an apology. However, every time they come back to hurt me, aside from going into anxiety attacks and fear, I feel anger and disgust towards them. So I question if I truly have forgiven them. How can I know for sure as I am now doubting myself?
How do you know if you have truly forgiven someone?
- Thread starter Redcars
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Forgiveness is one thing ....forgetting is something that only God can do.
It is good to be on guard with people been injurious towards you …that is just being wise.
The feelings of the anger and distrust do not equate to unforgiveness, it is a biological response to the past…… I would be concerned if you didn’t have the anger and distrust.
It is good to be on guard with people been injurious towards you …that is just being wise.
The feelings of the anger and distrust do not equate to unforgiveness, it is a biological response to the past…… I would be concerned if you didn’t have the anger and distrust.
-
2
-
2
- Show all
Forgiveness can be tricky sometimes, because we can forgive someone then slowly pick it back up. We sometimes Need to keep laying that paindown on the altar, and let God heal us. My ex husband put me through a lot. Now I am able to pray blessings over him, and I keep praying for his salvation, but I don’t like the man, but I know Jesus died for him too, and he is my daughter dad so I honestly want the best for him. It’s hard forgiving someone who abused you, and it’s really hard to bless them but by me praying blessings over him and speaking life into his life it allowed for the Holy Spirit to heal me. God is truly a good good Father. Just keep seeking him and you will get there.
-
2
-
2
-
1
- Show all
It sounds to me that you forgave them. Then you let them hurt you again. Now you feel like you must forgive them again. This is how some abusers act. They wont change and it sounds like you are letting them abuse you again. If they know they can, they will. If you cut them off and keep them away with Boundary's, you will heal. In establishing boundary's, you will be strong. Dont let them do this to you again. Kickem to the curb and move on with Jesus. Witness Jesus to them and they wont want to be around you. LOL My whole Family cut me off when I got saved. LOL What a relief.
-
1
-
1
- Show all
If possible get away from them so you never have to see them again. I don't know your situation so I don't know if that's possible, but if there's any way I'd do it. You don't have to allow them in your life to prove you've forgiven them. If being around them keeps yankin' your chain, move on.
-
4
- Show all
F
“Forgiveness is not an event. It’s not a climatic release of bitterness and hatred, and a return to a state of kindness and compassion. It isn’t denying that the wrong against you didn’t take place. Forgiveness is an ongoing, deepening, quickening process rather than a 1 time event. Forgiveness is not forgetting the wrong took place nor the denial that it hurt. But Forgiveness is summarized as hungering for restoration, revoking revenge,and pursuit of goodness .”
For more detail on this please read Bold Love
Dr. Dan Allender
Forgiveness does not require reconciliation with an individual who hurt you but giving The want for vengeance fully to God and For God to deal with them and trusting God in that which releases you of the burden in your heart.
Praying for you 🙏
For more detail on this please read Bold Love
Dr. Dan Allender
Forgiveness does not require reconciliation with an individual who hurt you but giving The want for vengeance fully to God and For God to deal with them and trusting God in that which releases you of the burden in your heart.
Praying for you 🙏
-
1
-
1
- Show all
Technically speaking, I don't think we are able to forgive anyone unless the person confesses his wrongdoing, repents and ask for forgiveness. God doesn't forgive us either unless we confess and repent. The offender has to take the first step. That doesn't mean that you don't love the offender.
We are called to love everyone.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7:
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love "keeps no record of wrongs" doesn't mean that you must forget the offense, or stop being upset about it/evil, put it under the rug, etc. I believe it means you have to stop bringing up the offense to the offender to as a form of threat, to make him/her feel guilty, etc. like picking at an old scab.
If someone confesses and asks for forgiveness 70 times the Bible instructs us to forgive. However, it is up to God to decide if the offender was genuine. If the offense is of a criminal nature, most people would not confess. I read somewhere most prisoners believe they are innocent (at least partially).
Forgiveness for our own wellbeing/good is modern psychological teaching, but it is not Biblical forgiveness.
We are called to love everyone.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7:
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love "keeps no record of wrongs" doesn't mean that you must forget the offense, or stop being upset about it/evil, put it under the rug, etc. I believe it means you have to stop bringing up the offense to the offender to as a form of threat, to make him/her feel guilty, etc. like picking at an old scab.
If someone confesses and asks for forgiveness 70 times the Bible instructs us to forgive. However, it is up to God to decide if the offender was genuine. If the offense is of a criminal nature, most people would not confess. I read somewhere most prisoners believe they are innocent (at least partially).
Forgiveness for our own wellbeing/good is modern psychological teaching, but it is not Biblical forgiveness.
-
1
- Show all
My abusers will never ask for forgiveness. I actually don't even want to see or know about them but they continue to stalk me and trying to hurt me and that is the only time I ever think about them and become upset at them cause I can't live in peace. Because of their constant torment I've been on the brick of suicide. Is so painful living alone in fear, anxiety and terror knowing you can't do anything about it while they laugh. The only one that can protect me is God so that is why i'm trying really hard for God to strenghten my faith so I dont feel alone and vulnerable
-
2
- Show all
Redcars,I had a similar problem. with my earthy dad and in prayer the Holy Spirit just said laugh at them!! ha ha ha I have Jesus in my life you can cause me no more pain, ask Jesus into your heart so you can be set free as well!! That was it!! It worked to!!! Now they may test you a few times, as was true with me,but respond the same way!! After a month he was set free!! They can sense fear have NONE OF IT!! Be BOLD!!! Remember whose child you really are now!!!
-
1
- Show all
