Its hard to be one of the outsiders. I was bullied so badly in elementary school I had to switch schools. I forgive those who hurt me, after all those events made me who I am and made me understand how bullying hurts, but it changed me terribly.
I dreaded going to school, I couldn't seem to really understand whether someone was my friend or not, and I never thought I was good enough. I couldn't wear the right clothes, and I always seemed to do one little thing wrong and ruin everything. I couldn't understand why they thought hurting me was fun.
I was laughed at when I choked on some food once, a kid poured milk on my head, when something (stupid and harmless) went wrong in class I was scapegoated and blamed, I was called fat (when I wasn't), ugly, stupid, even mean. The teachers didn't do enough to stop it, niether did the kids parents. My sister even made fun of me at home (right after defending me from them). Until I left, it never stopped.
I know I was somewhat strange as a kid, but I don't think I deserved that. I even had some suicidal thoughts, and this was elementary school! They weren't always violent or harming me physically, but the scapegoating, the names, the hard times, and most importantly the complete and utter loneliness and feelings of worthlessness effected me up until the end of highschool.
I hid and was defensive and aggressive for many years even after I switched schools. It took until my senior year for me to feel self confident and free again, mostly through Christ.
It's a very hard and damaging existence to be bullied. Not maybe so much just not being popular, since you just aren't noticed, but those favorites who were picked again and again got many things we didn't. Its not fun. Its okay to be better at something, to be a leader somewhere, but you can't forget anyone. Being left behind is awful.
