B
I WAS BORN INTO A NON PRACTICING CATHOLIC FAMILY. I REMEMBER BEING TOD TO GO TO CHURCH AND TO BRING HOME A BULLETIN TO PROVE I WENT. MY MOM WOULD STAY HOME WATCHING TV. I DID NOT BELIEVE. IN MY MIND BELIEVERS WERE NUTS. I GREW UP GOING TO 8 DIFFERENT SCHOOLS, I DON'T KNOW HOW AMY TIMES I MOVED AND NEVER MADE ANY FRIENDS AND WAS VERY LONELY.
I JOINED THE ARMY JUST TO GET OUT OF MY HOME TOWN AND SEE SOMETHING OF THE WORLD. I WAS STATIONED AT A SMALL BASE IN GERMANY AND STILL HAD NO FRIENDS. LIVE WAS LONELY AND HARD. I NO LONGER EVEN HAD FAMILY AROUND. I WAS DEPRESSED.
ONE NIGHT I FELT LIFE WAS JUST TO PAINFUL AND WISHED I WERE DEAD. I DID NOT WANT TO BE AROUND ANYBODY. NOW THIS IS A SMALL POST AND WHERE IS ONE TO GO ON A WEDNESDAY NIGHT TO BE ALONE.I WENT TO THE BASE CHAPEL. WHILE THERE, I WAS SURROUNDED BY BIBLES IN THE PEWS, A CROSS, AN ALTER, ETC. I COULD NOT HELP BUT HAVE THE CONCEPT OF GOD CREEP INTO MY MIND AND IT MADE ME ANGRIER. I FINALLY YELLED OUT IN ANGER AND FRUSTRATION, " OK GOD IF YOU EXIST, IF YOU REALLY CARE, THEN WHY". THIS IS NOT AN EXACT QUOTE OF WHAT I SAID BUT SOME OF THE WORDS I USED WOULD NOT BE APPROPRIATE. YOU HEARD THE PHRASE " I SWEAR TO GOD" WELL I WAS SWEARING AT GOD. BUT THE KEY IS I ASKED GOD A QUESTION NOT EXPECTING AN ANSWER. WELL AFTER I VENTED MUCH OF MY ANGER AND FELT READY TO LEAVE, I SAW ON A STAINED GLASS WINDOW THE WORDS, " AND YOU SHALL KNOW THE TRUTH AND THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE". YES THESE WORDS WERE THERE BEFORE I WENT AND AFTER I LEFT, BUT THEY WERE THERE WHEN I NEEDED THEM AND WHILE DIDN'T GIVE ME A ANSWER TO MY QUESTION, IT WAS AN ANSWER AKIN TO SOMEONE SAYING "LISTEN AND ILL TELL YOU" . I WAS CONVINCED FROM THAT MOMENT ON THAT THERE WAS A LOVING CARING GOD THAT WANTED THE BEST FOR ME AND WANTED TO LEAD ME OUT OF THE DARKNESS.
THE FOLLOWING WEEK I WAS SIMILARLY DEPRESSED AND WENT TO THE CHAPEL AGAIN, IT WAS THE SAME DAY OF THE WEEK, ANOTHER WEDNESDAY. ONLY THIS TIME THERE WERE PEOPLE THERE HAVING A BIBLE STUDY, SO I TURNED TO LEAVE AND THEY INVITED ME TO STAY. THEIR CARING AND THEIR FAITH INTRIGUED ME. THOSE PEOPLE AT THE CHAPEL THAT NIGHT BECAME MY BEST FRIENDS.
THE NEXT MORNING ON MY OWN I WENT AND PURCHASED A BIBLE. IN ONLY A MATTER OF DAYS I ASKED CHRIST TO COME INTO MY LIFE. I WAS SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY THAT I COULD NOT KEEP QUITE. I RAN INTO A FELLOW SOLDIER IN MY UNIT THAT IS JEWISH, WITHOUT THINKING AND OBLIVIOUS TO THE POSSIBILITY OF OFFENDING HIM, I SHARED MY STORY WITH HIM. I FOUND OUT A COUPLE DAYS LATER THAT HE ALSO ACCEPTED CHRIST.
MY TIME THERE AT THE BASE WENT FROM BEING MISERABLE TO THE HAPPIEST DAYS OF MY LIFE THUS FAR. I WAS INSATIABLE FOR GODS WORD AND THE FELLOWSHIP OF BELIEVERS. I BECAME VERY ACTIVE AND ENJOYED BIBLE STUDY, REMAINED EVER COGNIZANT OF GODS PROMISE THAT " WHENEVER 2 OR MORE GATHER IN MY NAME I WILL BE WITH YOU". I AND MY NEW FRIENDS WERE INSEPARABLE WHEN OFF DUTY AND CALLED OURSELVES THE "BUG EYED BIBLE BASHERS" WE WEREN'T PUSHY BUT WE COULD NOT GET ENOUGH OF GODS WORD. WE, WITH THE HELP OF THE PROTESTANT CHAPLIN, SET UP A CHRISTIAN COFFEE HOUSE. YOU COULD SEE GOD WORKING ON POST. WITHIN A SHORT TIME THE COFFEE HOUSE WAS SECOND ONLY TO THE POST THEATER AS FAR AS RECREATION WAS CONCERNED. WE HAD FREE UPLIFTING CHRISTIAN MOVIES EVERY WEEK, COOKOUTS WHEN THE WEATHER WAS GOOD, BIBLE STUDIES, AND JUST SIMPLE FELLOWSHIP.
I WAS STILL GROWING HOWEVER, I WAS STILL ATTENDING CATHOLIC SERVICES, WHILE MOST OF MY FRIENDS WENT TO PROTESTANT SERVICES. I INCREASING SAW THAT THE CATHOLIC CHURCH WAS AT ODDS WITH THE BIBLE. WHEN MY TOUR OF DUTY WAS OVER AT THAT BASE, I WAS TRANSFERRED TO FT SILL OKLAHOMA. I WAS UNSATISFIED WITH THE SERVICE ON BASE AND FOUND A CHURCH IN TOWN. I FELT DESPITE MY RECENT HISTORY I WAS NOT QUITE CHRISTIAN AND FELT GOD WANTED MORE FOR ME. I THEN AFTER SEVERAL WEEKS OF CHICKENING OUT FINALLY RELENTED AND OBEYED GODS CALLING AND RECEIVED A BELIEVERS BAPTISM. IT WAS FOREIGN TO EVERYTHING I SAW IN LIFE BEFORE ATTENDING THIS CHURCH. I WAS AMONG SEVERAL TO BE BAPTISED BY FULL IMMERSION. ONLY THEN DID I FEEL REBORN.
THIS WAS 30 YEARS AGO, I LEFT THE ARMY, LEFT OKLAHOMA AND STARTED LIFE AS AN ADULT, UNFORTUNATELY I NEVER AGAIN HAD THE LEVEL OF SUPPORT I HAD. I LOST CONTACT WITH MY FRIENDS AND AFTER A NUMBER OF YEARS FEEL I LOST CONTACT WITH GOD. HIS VOICE BECAME MORE AND MORE DISTANT, DROWNED OUT BY THE CLAMMER OF LIFE. I MARRIED A NONBELIEVER, BECAUSE I LOVED HER. i WENT TO A CHURCH THAT WAS INACTIVE BUT STAYED BECAUSE IT HAD A GREAT PASTOR WHO WAS MY AGE AND BECAME MY FRIEND. WHEN HE LEFT I HAD NOTHING TO GO THERE FOR. I LOST THE WILL TO GO. I HAVEN'T BEEN TO CHURCH NOW IN 12 YEARS OR SO EXCEPT FOR MEETINGS SINCE I WAS CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD OF TRUSTEES AND COMMITTED.
I WANT SO MUCH TO HAVE GOD BACK IN MY LIFE. I CAN'T ASK THAT BECAUSE HE ALREADY IS. I SORT OF FEEL AS THOUGH IT IS LIKE HAVE A VALUABLE ITEM THAT GOT PACKED UP WHEN I MOVED AND NOW I CAN'T FIND IT. HE IS STILL PACKED AWAY SOMEWHERE WITH EVERYTHING ELSE. I WANT TO FIND WHATEVER BOX I PUT GOD IN AND PUT HIM BACK IN HIS RIGHTFUL PLACE IN MY LIFE.
I JOINED THE ARMY JUST TO GET OUT OF MY HOME TOWN AND SEE SOMETHING OF THE WORLD. I WAS STATIONED AT A SMALL BASE IN GERMANY AND STILL HAD NO FRIENDS. LIVE WAS LONELY AND HARD. I NO LONGER EVEN HAD FAMILY AROUND. I WAS DEPRESSED.
ONE NIGHT I FELT LIFE WAS JUST TO PAINFUL AND WISHED I WERE DEAD. I DID NOT WANT TO BE AROUND ANYBODY. NOW THIS IS A SMALL POST AND WHERE IS ONE TO GO ON A WEDNESDAY NIGHT TO BE ALONE.I WENT TO THE BASE CHAPEL. WHILE THERE, I WAS SURROUNDED BY BIBLES IN THE PEWS, A CROSS, AN ALTER, ETC. I COULD NOT HELP BUT HAVE THE CONCEPT OF GOD CREEP INTO MY MIND AND IT MADE ME ANGRIER. I FINALLY YELLED OUT IN ANGER AND FRUSTRATION, " OK GOD IF YOU EXIST, IF YOU REALLY CARE, THEN WHY". THIS IS NOT AN EXACT QUOTE OF WHAT I SAID BUT SOME OF THE WORDS I USED WOULD NOT BE APPROPRIATE. YOU HEARD THE PHRASE " I SWEAR TO GOD" WELL I WAS SWEARING AT GOD. BUT THE KEY IS I ASKED GOD A QUESTION NOT EXPECTING AN ANSWER. WELL AFTER I VENTED MUCH OF MY ANGER AND FELT READY TO LEAVE, I SAW ON A STAINED GLASS WINDOW THE WORDS, " AND YOU SHALL KNOW THE TRUTH AND THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE". YES THESE WORDS WERE THERE BEFORE I WENT AND AFTER I LEFT, BUT THEY WERE THERE WHEN I NEEDED THEM AND WHILE DIDN'T GIVE ME A ANSWER TO MY QUESTION, IT WAS AN ANSWER AKIN TO SOMEONE SAYING "LISTEN AND ILL TELL YOU" . I WAS CONVINCED FROM THAT MOMENT ON THAT THERE WAS A LOVING CARING GOD THAT WANTED THE BEST FOR ME AND WANTED TO LEAD ME OUT OF THE DARKNESS.
THE FOLLOWING WEEK I WAS SIMILARLY DEPRESSED AND WENT TO THE CHAPEL AGAIN, IT WAS THE SAME DAY OF THE WEEK, ANOTHER WEDNESDAY. ONLY THIS TIME THERE WERE PEOPLE THERE HAVING A BIBLE STUDY, SO I TURNED TO LEAVE AND THEY INVITED ME TO STAY. THEIR CARING AND THEIR FAITH INTRIGUED ME. THOSE PEOPLE AT THE CHAPEL THAT NIGHT BECAME MY BEST FRIENDS.
THE NEXT MORNING ON MY OWN I WENT AND PURCHASED A BIBLE. IN ONLY A MATTER OF DAYS I ASKED CHRIST TO COME INTO MY LIFE. I WAS SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY THAT I COULD NOT KEEP QUITE. I RAN INTO A FELLOW SOLDIER IN MY UNIT THAT IS JEWISH, WITHOUT THINKING AND OBLIVIOUS TO THE POSSIBILITY OF OFFENDING HIM, I SHARED MY STORY WITH HIM. I FOUND OUT A COUPLE DAYS LATER THAT HE ALSO ACCEPTED CHRIST.
MY TIME THERE AT THE BASE WENT FROM BEING MISERABLE TO THE HAPPIEST DAYS OF MY LIFE THUS FAR. I WAS INSATIABLE FOR GODS WORD AND THE FELLOWSHIP OF BELIEVERS. I BECAME VERY ACTIVE AND ENJOYED BIBLE STUDY, REMAINED EVER COGNIZANT OF GODS PROMISE THAT " WHENEVER 2 OR MORE GATHER IN MY NAME I WILL BE WITH YOU". I AND MY NEW FRIENDS WERE INSEPARABLE WHEN OFF DUTY AND CALLED OURSELVES THE "BUG EYED BIBLE BASHERS" WE WEREN'T PUSHY BUT WE COULD NOT GET ENOUGH OF GODS WORD. WE, WITH THE HELP OF THE PROTESTANT CHAPLIN, SET UP A CHRISTIAN COFFEE HOUSE. YOU COULD SEE GOD WORKING ON POST. WITHIN A SHORT TIME THE COFFEE HOUSE WAS SECOND ONLY TO THE POST THEATER AS FAR AS RECREATION WAS CONCERNED. WE HAD FREE UPLIFTING CHRISTIAN MOVIES EVERY WEEK, COOKOUTS WHEN THE WEATHER WAS GOOD, BIBLE STUDIES, AND JUST SIMPLE FELLOWSHIP.
I WAS STILL GROWING HOWEVER, I WAS STILL ATTENDING CATHOLIC SERVICES, WHILE MOST OF MY FRIENDS WENT TO PROTESTANT SERVICES. I INCREASING SAW THAT THE CATHOLIC CHURCH WAS AT ODDS WITH THE BIBLE. WHEN MY TOUR OF DUTY WAS OVER AT THAT BASE, I WAS TRANSFERRED TO FT SILL OKLAHOMA. I WAS UNSATISFIED WITH THE SERVICE ON BASE AND FOUND A CHURCH IN TOWN. I FELT DESPITE MY RECENT HISTORY I WAS NOT QUITE CHRISTIAN AND FELT GOD WANTED MORE FOR ME. I THEN AFTER SEVERAL WEEKS OF CHICKENING OUT FINALLY RELENTED AND OBEYED GODS CALLING AND RECEIVED A BELIEVERS BAPTISM. IT WAS FOREIGN TO EVERYTHING I SAW IN LIFE BEFORE ATTENDING THIS CHURCH. I WAS AMONG SEVERAL TO BE BAPTISED BY FULL IMMERSION. ONLY THEN DID I FEEL REBORN.
THIS WAS 30 YEARS AGO, I LEFT THE ARMY, LEFT OKLAHOMA AND STARTED LIFE AS AN ADULT, UNFORTUNATELY I NEVER AGAIN HAD THE LEVEL OF SUPPORT I HAD. I LOST CONTACT WITH MY FRIENDS AND AFTER A NUMBER OF YEARS FEEL I LOST CONTACT WITH GOD. HIS VOICE BECAME MORE AND MORE DISTANT, DROWNED OUT BY THE CLAMMER OF LIFE. I MARRIED A NONBELIEVER, BECAUSE I LOVED HER. i WENT TO A CHURCH THAT WAS INACTIVE BUT STAYED BECAUSE IT HAD A GREAT PASTOR WHO WAS MY AGE AND BECAME MY FRIEND. WHEN HE LEFT I HAD NOTHING TO GO THERE FOR. I LOST THE WILL TO GO. I HAVEN'T BEEN TO CHURCH NOW IN 12 YEARS OR SO EXCEPT FOR MEETINGS SINCE I WAS CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD OF TRUSTEES AND COMMITTED.
I WANT SO MUCH TO HAVE GOD BACK IN MY LIFE. I CAN'T ASK THAT BECAUSE HE ALREADY IS. I SORT OF FEEL AS THOUGH IT IS LIKE HAVE A VALUABLE ITEM THAT GOT PACKED UP WHEN I MOVED AND NOW I CAN'T FIND IT. HE IS STILL PACKED AWAY SOMEWHERE WITH EVERYTHING ELSE. I WANT TO FIND WHATEVER BOX I PUT GOD IN AND PUT HIM BACK IN HIS RIGHTFUL PLACE IN MY LIFE.
