I am pregnant

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Lamoura

Guest
#1
#1
I am pregnant

I moved from one side of the country to the other to escape a physically abusive relationship with the father of my three children. when I arrived I met the most awesome wonderful God fearing man i have ever had the pleasure to meet. the more we conversed amor I fell in love. I was in in and usual state of bliss and then I found out he was an alcoholic I prayed for him and I stayed with him and then he became verbally abusive, but I prayed and i waited. for the past few months when I listen to gospel music it irritates him when I talk about God it's like he doesn't really want to hear it anymore. recently I found out I was pregnant and we were suppose to get married August 15th but right after I found out I was pregnant I found out he has been talking to other women using God's Word to lure them in the same way he did me. I'll read your message where he told 1 girl all he wants is loyalty commitment and love from a girl who loves God first and doesn't judge him by his flaws. I felt like he asked her to be me. my question is how to handle someone like that knowing that my baby is innocent and deserves two parents but also knowing that I deserve to be respected.

P.s. he is excited about the baby but he wants a DNA test because on two occasions around the time the baby was conceived I didn't answer my phone for 2-4 hours because it was dead
 
Utah

Utah

Banned
#2
Dec 1, 2014
9,701
251
0
#2
You did the right thing by leaving one abusive man, now do the right thing again.
 
J

Jeans

Guest
#3
#3
I agree with Utah.
 
A

atwhatcost

Guest
#4
#4
Utah said:
You did the right thing by leaving one abusive man, now do the right thing again.
Click to expand...
And adding to this excellent advice -- the next time you're attracted to a guy, RUN! You seem to be attracted to the wrong guys. Hubby was attracted to a certain kind of woman -- needy, beaten down in life, and friendless. It took him a while to notice the other trait -- they're like that because they're witches -- not literally but they truly are high-maintenance, all-about-me-and-my-every-whim kind of women. Once he realized that he decided to date the exact opposite. And now we've been happily married for close to 35 years.

(I'm also assuming you know you're not supposed to be sleeping with BFs. You're only supposed to be sleeping with husbands. Shacking up wasn't a great idea. Too late to say that for last time, but yo... ya know?)

Congratulations on you baby. You have eight months to come up with a plan on how to take care of your child... without an abusive father in the picture.
 
Jesus4ever

Jesus4ever

Senior Member
#5
May 18, 2015
783
19
18
#5
I´m truly sorry for all you´ve been through, sister. :(

All I can say is that I´ll pray for you. May God grant you His light and wisdom.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#6
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#6
1.) You went from a physically abusive relationship, to a VERBALLY abusive one. Don't fall into that trap again.

2.) Your new bf is an alcoholic. Pray for him.

3.) Congrats on the baby, but you do NOT need to be together to be parents and raise this child. If he is using God's word to "lure women", then obviously he's not a christian. HE IS A PLAYER. Disentangle yourself from him because you WILL regret it down the road if you marry him. If talking about God irritates him, then that should tell you what kind of person he is.
 
B

BarlyGurl

Guest
#7
#7
Lamoura said:
I moved from one side of the country to the other to escape a physically abusive relationship with the father of my three children. when I arrived I met the most awesome wonderful God fearing man i have ever had the pleasure to meet. the more we conversed amor I fell in love. I was in in and usual state of bliss and then I found out he was an alcoholic I prayed for him and I stayed with him and then he became verbally abusive, but I prayed and i waited. for the past few months when I listen to gospel music it irritates him when I talk about God it's like he doesn't really want to hear it anymore. recently I found out I was pregnant and we were suppose to get married August 15th but right after I found out I was pregnant I found out he has been talking to other women using God's Word to lure them in the same way he did me. I'll read your message where he told 1 girl all he wants is loyalty commitment and love from a girl who loves God first and doesn't judge him by his flaws. I felt like he asked her to be me. my question is how to handle someone like that knowing that my baby is innocent and deserves two parents but also knowing that I deserve to be respected.

P.s. he is excited about the baby but he wants a DNA test because on two occasions around the time the baby was conceived I didn't answer my phone for 2-4 hours because it was dead
Click to expand...
You fled one relationship (the father of your 3 children), were you married to that man? Then you offer yourself to another man... end up pregnant... and somehow think the entire universe should right itself according to your wishes. Usually, when I hear/read " I am pregnant" I want to rejoice... not so much for your case.
Woman, you are in a tangled web you have mostly woven for yourself.... the good news is... GOD IS GOOD... and he will help you if you repent of your sinful selfish ways and ask him for forgiveness... if you don't, you will continue to eat the fruit of your ways... until you repent... CUz God is REALLY PATIENT with us... or you die. I pray the former occurs before the latter.
 
sandtigeress

sandtigeress

Senior Member
#8
Apr 29, 2013
526
16
18
#8
Utah said:
You did the right thing by leaving one abusive man, now do the right thing again.
Click to expand...
i totally agree.
And do you really want that man to raise your child / your children ?

Verbally abusive is at least as hard and hurtfull as physical abusiveness, and you can not even show
the bruises. That is not a relationship you want to live and you definitely do not want you child
to live with that !!

You have been very strong to move away from abuse once, you can do it again !
For yourself and also for your child / children !
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#9
Jan 24, 2011
11,782
2,947
113
#9
Your child would be harmed much more by having an abusive father (it will probably escalate to physical abuse, too!) an alcoholic for a father.

You are not married to him, so you need to leave him. Or wait till he leaves you, since he has already moved on and is looking for an excuse to dump you, by his lack of trust that it is his baby.

You need to get abuse counseling, preferably both privately and in a group. You need to learn about the dynamics of abuse, and to recognize an abuser. There is a thing called "Battered Wife Syndrome" in which the woman goes from one abusive relationship to another. You have done this, although I commend you for having the strength to leave your first husband. It is very difficult for abusers to change, unless they want to, and most abusers have no motivation to do that.

Please read the following links, and see if you recognize the signs in your common law relationship. And remember, verbal abuse, can be as bad or worse as physical abuse, because it undermines who you are!

Violence Wheel - Domestic Violence

Cycle of Abuse
 
Utah

Utah

Banned
#10
Dec 1, 2014
9,701
251
0
#10
BarlyGurl said:
You fled one relationship (the father of your 3 children), were you married to that man? Then you offer yourself to another man... end up pregnant... and somehow think the entire universe should right itself according to your wishes. Usually, when I hear/read " I am pregnant" I want to rejoice... not so much for your case.
Woman, you are in a tangled web you have mostly woven for yourself.... the good news is... GOD IS GOOD... and he will help you if you repent of your sinful selfish ways and ask him for forgiveness... if you don't, you will continue to eat the fruit of your ways... until you repent... CUz God is REALLY PATIENT with us... or you die. I pray the former occurs before the latter.
Click to expand...
Go easy, Barly. I share your passion but we need to remember Lamoura was vulnerable, and like the serpent in the Garden of Eden, this punk lied to her, duped her and committed the ultimate betrayal against her.

God is good, and through this punk's deception, God blessed Lamoura with a new child. Let's take this opportunity to help build her up so she can raise her child safely and securely, to God's glory.
 
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