Honeybee, my thoughts and prayers for you. God will continue to carry you through this time.
I understand the not being able to sleep. Being married for a long time, brings a security. I haven't lost my beloved, but when he's not sleeping in bed, I can't sleep well either. It's funny thinking about it now, but he likes to sleep with the tv on. I used to get frustrated and set the sleep timer, so it would shut off after he fell asleep, but now, I don't even bother, because I have gotten so used to having it on, I feel almost disoriented when I wake in the middle of the night and there's no sound or light. It's the little things you get used to like that.
Continue to lean on God. He is a big God, and He can handle your grief and all that goes with it, your anger, your pain, your frustrations and even any guilt when you start to see some joy in life again, and then He will rejoice in your joy when you start to see light again. Give it ALL to Him. He created you, He calls you His....His child, His bride, His Masterpiece. I will definitely keep you in prayer. I may not fully understand your pain, but I will always be around to listen to you if you need.
Peace.