i dont know

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Wolfscout-501st

Guest
#1
This has been going on for years....things in my head idk just keep telling me things i dont wanna say cause i dont wanna lose god. i ve done things that im not proud of ...im 20 now n this month it got to me hard...i keep telling myself no...n no n no.im tired of this...some tmies i do get the thought of ending it but no....i feel depressed...kind crying...my mom is sick n shes knowes that i have this problem n tries to help me n i thank god for that....but i dont tell her how i fell cause i dont wanna make her worrie or cry....tbh im a hard head cause i dont listen n sometimes if i do tell i get scared that they might put me in some place..idk...i kinda wanna talk to somebody...sometimes i wanna hear some 1 just tell me ...i understand what u feel...cause talkin to god is right...but hearing slince when i pray...him just being quiet..makes me mad n sad...idk..but i deserve it tho cuz of things ive done..idk...
 
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letti

Guest
#2
I't isn't to late to change and get closer to god.Reading the bible is a good first step.Also consistent prayer.You may not get answers right away,but God hears you.You sound very confused, and maybe you should find a church that offers counseling some of them do.You also sound like you have a lot of emotion pain.Which finding another caring person that loves God may be able to help listen to you and give advice to you.
 
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Wolfscout-501st

Guest
#3
to be honest ma'm i did the conseling with my uncle n i told him personal things to and infront of my mom to...i told him it help ...but it really didnt..my fault tho...plus i dont trust the people in church cus they just look down on u if ur not part of there click...i sometimes feel like thinking that god dosent exsits n even wanna imagine telling my parents i dont believe in god...but i dont wanna lose god tho..i know it will feel real ugly if i did that....right now i wanna cuss in the air n hit something...but to be honest im just here ...(growls
 
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kenisyes

Guest
#4
You list your spiritual status as unsure. If you have not made a decision to have Jesus as your Lord, make the choice. You sound like that is what you want, because you don't like the thoughts. The thoughts are just the devil trying to get you not to make the choice for Jesus. Once you make the choice, the power of God will be there, and you will be able to make them go away, although now that they are habit, they may take some time. Some of this is just part of growing up, parts of our brains develop before other parts, so sometimes you will think things before you can understand them or know what to do with them. In any event, it's pretty clear you do not choose to have them, so there is no sin in having them be in yourhead.

Hearing silence when you pray is not that unusual. There are many ways of communicating with someone, not just audible speech. Just sitting in His presence is fine, and He is always there.
 
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Wolfscout-501st

Guest
#5
i got baptized when i was 15 or 11 ...but i acted in a manner that i regret..i do blieve in jesus...even in prayer the things in my head keep poping n even sometimes i just wanna stop in middle of praying n just go to bed fighting it...
 
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kenisyes

Guest
#6
Baptized is one thing, making it be your choice can be another. If you made the personal choice at baptism you are fine. There is a long way between fighting it, and just not letting it worry you that it is there. When it starts, have you tried just telling God that you will wait on Him, even if He says nothing? Then tell the devil to go away, and stop worrying. It is not sin.
 

Lucy68

Senior Member
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#7
Praying for the Holy Spirit to speak to you today :). Usually, we don't hear Him because of us, not Him. Our antennae is all messed up so all we hear is static.

We can begin to fix this by first opening the Bible and studying the gospel (the 'good news'). I like Matthew...it includes so much teaching. Also, praying as we read and study God's love letter to us helps us to understand what we're reading. Then looking inside of ourselves and seeing the things that need to be removed...and begin to remove them.

This is easier if we are in a quiet place with NO noise. The Old testament talks about God's voice as being a whisper.

Don't give up. God will pull you out of this pit IF you just reach up and grab His hand. There is hope, and there is a good future for you...just waiting for you to take the first few steps.
 
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
1,050
113
#8
Just a question, how do you spend your time? There is a great deal of mentally damaging shows and video games that rewire the thoughts and emotions of the viewers/players. We really need to be careful of what we watch and listen to. Just that you are conflicted is a good sign that God is trying to get through to you. The enemy has a grip on you but God is not letting go. Hold onto Jesus and pray in His name. Find a quiet place. Go over all of the things in your life you know to be good. Thank God out loud for them one by one. Whenever a negative thought gets in your head speak out loud, "Shut up Satan, in Jesus Name I command you." When you are done ask God for His Holy Spirit to guide you and teach you wisdom. Then comes the hard part. Follow Him! It will go against all that feels natural, but do it. When you want to hit somebody, forgive them. If somebody steals from you, let it go. Just know that if Jesus is your Lord and God is your Father anything you need will be yours and everything else is pointless. May God bless you and heal your mother. In Jesus Name I ask this of You.
 
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Wolfscout-501st

Guest
#9
honsetly i play video games...but umm i kinda wanna tell u more idk..today i went with my parents to go out also took my cousin...n i kept thinking these thing n fighting it but it felt like i lost n i kept trying cuz i dont want it to happen...we had fun..but now i feel kinda empty...i feel oddish..
 
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kenisyes

Guest
#10
It's not you thinking this, it's the devil telling you these things. When you got distracted by the events of the day, you stopped fighting, but he kept talking, so you feel like you lost. But since they were not your thoughts, you did not think them, so you could not lose. That's why it feels odd, you are confusing yourself as to where the thoughts are coming from.
 
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wwjd_kilden

Guest
#11
Part of what you describe sounds like what it is like to grow up (chaotic, isn't it?)
Part of it sounds like depression, especially feeling empty in situations you'd normally feel happy
And part of it sounds to be caused by this fight you are having

I don't know about anything that will wipe away every problem in one go (oh how I wish I did), but what I know is this:
Every time I have told God "I Give up, there's nothing more, I'm loosing my mind and you need to do something or I don't know what I will do" .... He does something. It can be something major... it can be something seemingly tiny and strange, but it is always what I need, just to get through that day, that week, that month. Only God knows you, only He knows what it is your spirit is longing so hard for that it is tormenting you. Keep talking to him, and even more important, listening, even if all you hear is silence. He will reply, though perhaps not in a way you expected
 

Lucy68

Senior Member
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#12
Things get better when we start making good choices :)