I need help with my sister.

[ROSSELLA]

I don't think there's anything wrong with telling your mom. However, if your sister is 25, you need to partially accept her decisions. That doesn't mean you need to approve or condone them. And you don't need to stop mentioning now and again the dangers of online relationships. But ultimately, she's an adult and needs to make her own choices. Don't chastise her every time the two of you discuss the relationship. That will only push her towards him and stop her from confiding in you. But you don't need to pretend to approve either. Try to keep a neutral attitude when she discusses him, so that she doesn't draw away from you and towards him. However, if you hear that he's saying or doing things that are abusive, there's nothing wrong with pointing it out to he.

I know it's hard. My sister was in a psychologically abusive relationship during high school. Everyone could see it but my sister. Her situation was different because she wasn't an adult. But it was incredibly hard to watch someone who I knew was intelligent act in ways that defied logic. However, what I found was that the more I tried to talk sense into her, the more she seemed to turn deaf to what I was saying. If I could do it again, I would have taken a different tactic. Thankfully, they broke up and, while she still does things in her relationships that I don't approve of for Biblical reasons, her current boyfriend is a decent guy. I can't be sure that will happen with your sister. But I do believe that the best way to go about it is to allow her to make her own choices. Let her know your views but don't shove them down her throat. If she can see you as someone she can talk to, she'll take advice from you and maybe some of your views on her relationship will sink in.

 

[mj007]

Maybe there isn't enough love close to home, which is often the case when people do things without others knowing. Did you go through her phone behind her back? You see, it is merely a dysfunctional thing which revolves.

There is a difference between caring for someone based on what you might think, and genuinely caring for someone. Family of course should care about each other, but they often do it in a dysfunctional way which causes conflict or loss of trust.

But God is not dysfunctional. God plans things out in a way. If your sister got lost in sin, God would say, I accept you, I forgive you, my arms are open for you. The Prodigal Son. So do you act the same, or do you reflect opposition? We only push people away if we condemn their actions (silently or physically). It is not condemnation but love which should be a persons focus. And parents or siblings often get that wrong.

It takes reflecting an image of God's love (of which everyone is born in the image of God) to say to someone "No matter what you choose, I accept you, and I am always here for you, I wish the best for you, you have my blessings that you remain safe in all that you do." I'm sure everyone has experienced, that when you bring stillness and peace to a situation, whether in yourself or with others, suddenly you get what you wanted which was for there to be stillness and peace. And from that branches trust, forgiveness, staying away from sin.

I would say accept your sister in her choices, and she may turn to you. Have faith in your sister, and she may change if she is on the wrong path. God is in control, and all you can do as a child of God, is be loving and humble in your thoughts and actions towards her, and have faith in God, because that brings the presence of God to those you care about.

And if in your sub-conscious, part of your actions are based on a fear of losing your sister, then observe and change that too. See what is the truth and then you are free. Fear controls a lot of the ways people act, and the MOST subtle, is self-importance.