I Think I Might Be Gay

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robint

Guest
#1
#1
All my life I've been different from everyone else. I've have a fiance, and I am of course a virgin, but I am scared that on our wedding night I wont feel anything for him. We are going to school right now, and before we started dating I slept with another girl. I don't feel anything when I kiss my fiance, not like I did with the other girl. I don't know what to do anymore. There is a woman at the church we attend, and I notice things about her, like her lips, and her breasts. Is it really wrong to think these things.
 
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woka

Guest
#2
#2
For me the circle of life always makes me question why? Why do I feel this way, why am I aroused in an area that seems to not be according to God's word? Was it the thrill of feeling like really belonged with the other girl? Was it just an experiment, but now the forbidden fruit is good?

Statistically I find it quite amazing that not 99.5% of people who are gay have suffered some kind of abuse in their past sexually in nature, but actually 100% of all gay people/ Isn't that amazing some of the people cannot remember as they have put it so deep into their subconcious but when explored by the phycologists etc, it has been discovered that this is the case.

The Lord holds us accountable for our action doesn't He, and this is why I always like to question why I behave, have desires etc in a certain way.

We are all do very different, and like to think of ourselves as being different and unique and that there is something in us, that nobody else has, and I am so thankful to the Lord that this is the case with each of us, because He said we are fearfully and wonderfully made and there is not one other person exactly like us.

My advise to you would be to explore, explore, explore, question, question and question. The Lord tells us to seek and we shall find. Ask that He refeals the truth to you, and it will be so.

God Bless

Veronica
 
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cmarieh

Guest
#3
#3
Believe it or not this is very common maybe more so than people think. Things that are forbidden are always more attractive and more appealing. Just think back to the Garden of Eden where the serpent tricked Eve into eating a fruit on the tree of life. Obviously it was more attractive than just an ordinary fruit so Eve took a bite then gave it to Adam. My suggestion to you is pray. Ask God if he is trying to tell you that maybe your feelings could be because you shouldn't marry your fiancé. Or it could be the enemy's way of getting to you. God created the 'sexual' relationships between one man and one woman. Plus, I was just looking at your age and you are only twenty, just starting out in this world and it may be just your immaturity in adult relationships in general. If I were you, I would call off the engagement for now and really find out what relationships are and what they take. Don't listen to people who are not followers of God to make a decision regarding this issue because they would just tell you that you were born gay and God would never create a person that way. Being homosexual is a choice not the way God created you to be. One pastor I had told the congregation once that he doesn't understand the gay lifestyle because the parts don't even fit. LOL. But in a way it is true. I am not saying that you should or shouldn't continue dating guys, but maybe you should take a time out and find yourself a bit more. See where you are at in a few years.
 
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chestertonrules

Banned
#4
Aug 28, 2013
183
3
0
#4
robint said:
All my life I've been different from everyone else. I've have a fiance, and I am of course a virgin, but I am scared that on our wedding night I wont feel anything for him. We are going to school right now, and before we started dating I slept with another girl. I don't feel anything when I kiss my fiance, not like I did with the other girl. I don't know what to do anymore. There is a woman at the church we attend, and I notice things about her, like her lips, and her breasts. Is it really wrong to think these things.
Click to expand...

Everyone has sexual temptations. Avoid temptation.

You choose your actions, not your temptations.

Maximizing sexual pleasure should not be a top priority if you want a good life.
 
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Propensity

Guest
#5
#5
I struggle with this same thing robint. My story is different then yours, but the struggle is similar. I was engaged to this amazing Godly guy who loved me tons, would do anything for me. I loved him too, but not in the way he loved me. I loved him as a dear friend, but not in a "romantic" way. I tried so hard to convince myself that "love" would come eventually. But one day I just couldn't pretend that way anymore. I broke it off with him. I knew that I was attracted to girls and had been practically my whole life, as did he. He even drove with me to my counseling sessions that addressed my same-sex attractions. We had a deep relationship and were able to talk about my attractions girls, and he never judged me. I was physical with this guy and even enjoyed the physical part of our relationship. We never had sex, we were waiting to marriage, but we would do "other" stuff together. Anyways, all this to say that even though everything seem perfect about this guy, I just wasn't erotically attracted to him. He was very attractive as much as men can be. I know that being erotically attracted to anyone is not the most important thing in love, but I just felt like I always wanted to be in a loving relationship with another my whole life. I am sure the fact that you had previously slept with another girl is a huge part of the way you are feeling like you might be gay. I know that my therapist said it was have made my current same-sex attractions 100 percent harder if I had been physical with another girl. So I can imagine what attractions you might be experincing. In today's age, it is extremely hard to follow Christ when the world tells you it is normal to be gay. There is much to be said about this struggle. Just know that you are not the only one in this struggle. I want to share a verse that I have recently been encouraged by when I think of my struggle. It is John 16:33. It says, "[TABLE="class: maintable3, width: 100%"]
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[TD]I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world."



[/TD]
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Take heart robint, God understands and he is FOR you.
 
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flight316

Guest
#6
#6
Each day I hear more and more about gay issues. Your profile says that you are christian. Can you be a gay christian? What if you had to chose between the two. Which would chose? What if you could see Jesus, what if He stood right in front of you in the flesh, and you asked Him what you are asking us. What do you think that He would say? That is your answer.
 
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danschance

Guest
#7
#7
robint said:
All my life I've been different from everyone else. I've have a fiance, and I am of course a virgin, but I am scared that on our wedding night I wont feel anything for him. We are going to school right now, and before we started dating I slept with another girl. I don't feel anything when I kiss my fiance, not like I did with the other girl. I don't know what to do anymore. There is a woman at the church we attend, and I notice things about her, like her lips, and her breasts. Is it really wrong to think these things.
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I think you might want to have a discussion with your fiance' about this before you marry him. Men do expect to have sex with their wife and when that doesn't happen they are unhappy and women too for that matter. So you should work this out before you tie the knot.
 
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Aqua_Girl09

Guest
#8
#8
you need to break it off with him right away. . . . . . .until you can figure out your life. cause the pain hes going to go through after realizing that you don't feel "ANYTHING" when you kiss in him only going to get worse and worse the longer you're together. maybe hes just not the right guy? but you don't want to put someone you care about in worse pain. . . .and be totally honest. He knows you so anything less and he'll know that you're lying.

as for being attracted to women. . .i've never gone through that myself and known anyone who has. i wish i could help but i feel like anything i say would be empty or what i heard from someone else. I pray you get it all resolved.
 
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xXErraticEmilyXx

Guest
#9
#9
I don't really know what to tell you. I know I'm straight, but I used to screw around a little with some girls. I never slept with them and it didn't mean anything. I do notice some things about chicks, but I have a feeling that's normal. I bet you're just fine and the enemy is just trying to use anything he can against you- your past experience. I'll pray for you.
 
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marrion

Guest
#10
#10
We were ALL born with a sinful nature,thats why we MUST be born again so that our SINFUL NATURE can be replaced with a GODLY NATURE.The devils job is to steal kill and destroy and SEXUAL SIN and CONFUSION is one of his greatest tools in the modern day world.We really have to repent of our sins and ask God to change our nature and rebirth us in his nature.This is the only way out.Jesus is the way,the truth and the life.if you have developed a habit or addiction in this area Jesus will deliver you if you cry out to him sincerely.He came to set the captives free.The sad thing is that this is one of the hardest sins to break free from once entangled in it so my advice to you would be to seek Gods help with desperation now before it goes any further and the devil convinces you that this is normal.
 
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colalella2891

Guest
#11
#11
I think this happens to a lot of people. It happened to me before with guys... When I was about 15 I thought I had a crush on my guy friend. I was also having dreams about naked guys and stuff, and I was enjoying them. I told my parents about it, and they said that it was the enemy trying to confuse me. So, we prayed about it and stuff. Eventually, my friend who I thought I liked got excited about something, and then kissed my on my cheek. I was so shocked, and it caught me off guard. After that I left, because I just knew I had to leave.

Today, I am the straightest guy you'll ever meet... It's crazy, i'll get turned on if I turn my head and accidentally spot a girl's cleavage. I really think this is the enemy coming against you. If I were you I would talk to a spiritual person that you know you can trust: a parent, a pastor, a friend, etc. Also keep praying about it.

As for your fiance, in my opinion you need to break it off... You shouldn't marry this guy (at least not anytime soon) when you have these issues. A husband wants their wife to be attracted to them, at least that's the way I feel.
 
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colalella2891

Guest
#12
#12
Also, my parents told me that homosexuality can be a very addicting thing. They said that once you get into it, it can be hard to get out. Since you slept with a girl, it'll probably be harder for you than it was for me to be free of it. But just ask the Lord for His grace, and His help. And pray, pray, pray.
 
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misstee

Guest
#13
#13
Okay so I've tried the whole gay thing, honestly it's just your hormones and emotions getting in the way..... Stay away from females in that sense! We're still young & when it comes to hormones n emotions we're not to be trusted lol ( let's be real ).... just Continue to pray & believe that the Lord will continue to keep his hand on you and lead you in the right direction!!! & call it off with your fiance if you haven't done so already!! I'm here if you need that ear! :)
 
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ServantStrike

Guest
#14
#14
Well, this is an old thread...

The op only posted one single post and has not been back, but hopefully she took the advice to postpone the wedding until this got sorted out. God abhors divorce, and going through with a marriage you are not sure about is extremely unfair to the other party involved.
 
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cubfan716

Guest
#15
#15
robint said:
All my life I've been different from everyone else. I've have a fiance, and I am of course a virgin, but I am scared that on our wedding night I wont feel anything for him. We are going to school right now, and before we started dating I slept with another girl. I don't feel anything when I kiss my fiance, not like I did with the other girl. I don't know what to do anymore. There is a woman at the church we attend, and I notice things about her, like her lips, and her breasts. Is it really wrong to think these things.
Click to expand...

1 Corinthians 6:9-11
Don't you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don't fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people-none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. (NLT)

Leviticus 18:22
"Do not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman. It is a detestable sin." (NLT)

I'm not trying to sound judgmental but the bible condemns homosexuality. It is a detestable sin. Now I think all of us have been there where we have unnatural thoughts. In your case it seems since you slept with another girl it is like a stronghold in your life. I think the most important thing to do is first repent of your sin between you and the Lord. Ask Him to forgive you for you sin.

In terms of your relationship with your fiance you need to talk with him regarding this situation. You need to tell him what you have been feeling and talk it out. Now it may be that you need to break up with him for the purposes of restoration in you own life but its not to say that there is no hope for anything in the future.

Whenever a stronghold has taken you captive it takes a toll on your life. I struggled with strongholds in the past and it takes a toll on your life. It makes you think differently, contrary to what the living word states. In John 8:31-36, Jesus tells us that we can be held in bondage due to strongholds in our lives. And His solution was to, "continue in my word... and ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." (v. 32-32) Strongholds are torn down as we meditate on God's Word, which is truth!

You sound like a sincere person who want to do the right thing. So don't for minute think you're gay! Its the enemy trying to lead you astray. Come to the Lord and ask Him to forgive you. Psalm 37:4 states, "Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." Things may seem dim right now but in Christ all things are possible!


Be praying for you,

Luis
 
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