I want to be better

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Sweet_

Sweet_

Member
#1
Jan 29, 2014
89
1
8
#1
I am a newly saved Christian.Recently,I begin to feel very sensitive about what I am talking and thinking.I realize I don't necessarily commit a serious offense to be a sinner.I am lazy.I'd rather stay on bed than get up earlier in the morning.This morning I felt I should get up but I didn't want to.Soon I had a sleep paralysis and I was scared of it,as if some evil spirit was present.And I was thinking at that moment Hell was much worse than this.. I prayed to God for help,confessed that I am a sleepyhead and asked for forgiveness in my mind and I got up.
I begin to feel how imperfect I am.I feel guilty of the exaggerated words from my mouth when I relate something to others.It's like a sinful habit I want to get rid of.And I am impatient to my parents,especially to my father.I have never practiced "Love is enduring patience".And I feel I am cold-hearted and self-centered.When sad news about others come to me,I don't feel anything.I seldom pray for others.I have never practiced "love thy neighbor as yourself"...Maybe there are more I haven't think of now..And I am afraid of hypocrisy.
I feel who I am now do not deserve heaven at all.I want to change and be better.I also heard we should put our trust in Lord Jesus and he is working on our salvation.Then I hope I have enough time to get better:p Young I am but I understand we are living in the last days.No time to lose..I need more faith,more faith.
So I should really leave the Internet right now and get on with some work...
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#2
#2
No one is ever worthy of heaven by their actions. It's by grace and grace Alone we are made worthy.

I have a different take on hypocrisy. If you are struggling with ... anger lets say. You're trying to change it, but change takes time. And you end up counseling someone else on anger, teaching them they should not be angry, i don't view that as hypocrisy. Because in your heart you desire change. But the person who has anger, doesn't care and then tells others not to be angry, that is a hypocrite. Remember, our actions are important, but what is MORE important to God is our heart.
So yes, it's important to try to change our actions, but don't beat yourself up over the things you do. Long as you have a desire to change, and you are making real efforts to grow, then God sees that and honors it more than the actions themselves.
And sleep paralysis is just a physical, medical thing. And though it doesn't create fearful feelings, it's not spiritual. So don't let it phase you and cause you to make it mean anything.

If you're a new Christian then slow down, don't put so much pressure on yourself. Just keep your eyes and heart on God. Do your best to follow His will, but also remember He gave you grace and mercy and forgiveness... so don't ruin His gifts by not giving yourself the same treatment.
 
J

JustAnotherUser

Guest
#3
#3
I would have a different take on sleep paralysis. Yes, it could be medical, but especially after one or two events I had where one even lasted after I went into my waking state (complicated but it links) and it never happened again, I was convinced it was spiritual. So what she had from it may or may not have been.
 
Sweet_

Sweet_

Member
#4
Jan 29, 2014
89
1
8
#4
;) Hehe..have a look at my silly thread.thank you both.:)
 
J

JustAnotherUser

Guest
#5
#5
It's not silly at all. I'd suggest to go with what Ugly said but I thought to have an input on the sleep paralysis bit.
 
T

Timmaayyyy

Guest
#6
#6
I had sleep paralysis too. I even saw a figure on my bed one time i had it. I am a new christian as well, 6 Months ago i got saved. Keep on trusting in the lord, he loves you very much and he will never give up on you. Just know that he does not condemn you and he will help you. God Bless
 
Sweet_

Sweet_

Member
#7
Jan 29, 2014
89
1
8
#7
JustAnotherUser said:
I would have a different take on sleep paralysis. Yes, it could be medical, but especially after one or two events I had where one even lasted after I went into my waking state (complicated but it links) and it never happened again, I was convinced it was spiritual. So what she had from it may or may not have been.
Click to expand...
I don't know what it is.I have had four times of sleep paralysis from April,before and after my baptism.Each time it feels the same..Although I had sleep paralysis before..maybe some years ago or last year.It's not that close to me.For these four times,I can feel a terrifying power touching my neck and my body.But I am not as scared as the first time in April.After I prayed,I was actually saying in my mind,"I will fight you.":pThen I tried to move my toe and woke up.I am not sure if it is spiritual.
 
T

Timmaayyyy

Guest
#8
#8
It can be spiritual. I'm not sure but rebuke it in Jesus name when it comes.
 
P

Paulos

Guest
#9
#9
Sweet_ said:
I am a newly saved Christian.Recently,I begin to feel very sensitive about what I am talking and thinking.I realize I don't necessarily commit a serious offense to be a sinner.I am lazy.I'd rather stay on bed than get up earlier in the morning.This morning I felt I should get up but I didn't want to.Soon I had a sleep paralysis and I was scared of it,as if some evil spirit was present.And I was thinking at that moment Hell was much worse than this.. I prayed to God for help,confessed that I am a sleepyhead and asked for forgiveness in my mind and I got up. I begin to feel how imperfect I am.I feel guilty of the exaggerated words from my mouth when I relate something to others.It's like a sinful habit I want to get rid of.And I am impatient to my parents,especially to my father.I have never practiced "Love is enduring patience".And I feel I am cold-hearted and self-centered.When sad news about others come to me,I don't feel anything.I seldom pray for others.I have never practiced "love thy neighbor as yourself"...Maybe there are more I haven't think of now..And I am afraid of hypocrisy. I feel who I am now do not deserve heaven at all.I want to change and be better.I also heard we should put our trust in Lord Jesus and he is working on our salvation.Then I hope I have enough time to get better:p Young I am but I understand we are living in the last days.No time to lose..I need more faith,more faith. So I should really leave the Internet right now and get on with some work...
Click to expand...
Jesus life was to help others. That is his way. So we work for that. When I get up I make list of things I want to do then pray and throw away list and wait for Jesus to tell me what Jesus wants me to me do sometime it take a while but someone is doing something and I help and ask they get happy how much better than money this happy face. you can always help always mom or dad right now you say how can I help you have job or something? and they wILL have job or something :) then do with all heart and mind when you get tired then take rest and be sleepyhead you enjoy being sleepy head AFTER help others much more!
 
P

Paulos

Guest
#10
#10
heaven has only people who like to work. Maybe you not like to be there. Maybe you do. try to help and see if you like heaven
 
TheAristocat

TheAristocat

Senior Member
#11
Oct 4, 2011
2,150
26
0
#11
Sweet_ said:
I don't know what it is.I have had four times of sleep paralysis from April,before and after my baptism.Each time it feels the same..Although I had sleep paralysis before..maybe some years ago or last year.It's not that close to me.For these four times,I can feel a terrifying power touching my neck and my body.But I am not as scared as the first time in April.After I prayed,I was actually saying in my mind,"I will fight you.":pThen I tried to move my toe and woke up.I am not sure if it is spiritual.
Click to expand...
I have something similar that I think comes from low blood glucose. I'll wake up in the middle of the night, with my sheets soaked in sweat. And it's like a sudden, overwhelming rush of malevolent and evil feelings pours down on me. It's not directed at anyone. I don't feel the need to hurt anyone or be hurt by someone. It's purely feelings, and I am in complete control of them. But it can be mentally and emotionally debilitating. When I eat something to raise my blood sugar back up they disappear.

It's like my mind is logical and in control of my body and can rationally observe and separate action from emotion or even separate what it's willfully thinking as opposed to what thoughts these feelings are making it think. But it is just attacked with these overpowering feelings of violence and out-of-control, evil emotions. If I don't fight them sometimes my mind may even imagine horrible thoughts. But they're pretty easily defeated, too. I've learned that just by moving a little bit or changing what I'm looking at in my room interrupts the sudden surge of emotion when I feel it coming. And it comes fast! So I have to be quick.

I have a Protestant Christian friend who has something similar, too. Her experiences I think are called "night terrors" in English. It's where you hallucinate terrible things in the room with you or where your body feels like it's being pinned down. This is probably what you are experiencing, too.

Personally, I'm not sure why mine come at night, but they always occur during periods of low blood glucose. My body also automatically wakes me up when my blood glucose drops too low. And the feelings dissipate when my blood glucose rises to a decent level. In the day time I have other more subtle feelings that indicate that my blood glucose is low.

I should also add that I describe it as a "surge" or "rush" or "pouring" because it literally feels oppressive. So it could be related to your feeling "unable to move".
 
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R

Rush

Guest
#12
#12
Sister,
This is what Paul talks about. This is your spirit at war with your flesh. A fancy way to say the Spirit within you that is God is at odds with the person we are who lives in sin.
But remember, and maybe even read romans 7 & 8.
Three verses that ill paraphrase because they're awesome for new christians and old alike :)

The things I don't want to do i keep doing, and the things i do want to do I don't do ... Who will save me from this death? Well there is now no condemnation and death for those in Christ Jesus ... and he will turn all things to good for those who love him.

Don't give up hope, and don't waste time condemning yourself either. Christ doesn't so don't you either :)

If the Lord convicts you of something, pick yourself up and try not to do it again. But if you do, remember, there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. Thank God for his forgiveness and grace, and pick yourself up again :)

God bless you sister :)


Sweet_ said:
I am a newly saved Christian.Recently,I begin to feel very sensitive about what I am talking and thinking.I realize I don't necessarily commit a serious offense to be a sinner.I am lazy.I'd rather stay on bed than get up earlier in the morning.This morning I felt I should get up but I didn't want to.Soon I had a sleep paralysis and I was scared of it,as if some evil spirit was present.And I was thinking at that moment Hell was much worse than this.. I prayed to God for help,confessed that I am a sleepyhead and asked for forgiveness in my mind and I got up.
I begin to feel how imperfect I am.I feel guilty of the exaggerated words from my mouth when I relate something to others.It's like a sinful habit I want to get rid of.And I am impatient to my parents,especially to my father.I have never practiced "Love is enduring patience".And I feel I am cold-hearted and self-centered.When sad news about others come to me,I don't feel anything.I seldom pray for others.I have never practiced "love thy neighbor as yourself"...Maybe there are more I haven't think of now..And I am afraid of hypocrisy.
I feel who I am now do not deserve heaven at all.I want to change and be better.I also heard we should put our trust in Lord Jesus and he is working on our salvation.Then I hope I have enough time to get better:p Young I am but I understand we are living in the last days.No time to lose..I need more faith,more faith.
So I should really leave the Internet right now and get on with some work...
Click to expand...
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#13
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#13
Well! That was a public confession it needed the baptism of the Holy Spirit of GOD... Hope He reach you anywhere you are!
 
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