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Hello Family, I'm new here and I'd very much would like everyone's help on a important issue I am having.
3 months ago my boyfriend broke up with me.
This maybe a situation that some of you may or may not have witnessed but I feel very alone in this matter.
Before my met my current ex I had 4 other boyfriends who didn't work out with expect one who is my best friend now.
But my 4th one was terrible. He was a liar a cheater and he cares about no one but himself. I tried everything in my power to try and change him so he can help himself but in the end he was changing me. I was doing so many ungodly things and asking God to help me with a problem.
I pretty much was asking a doctor to help me with stomach pains while I was eating poisoned bread.
No matter what I did he still lied about everything. God would show me through dreams how unfaithful my ex was being and I'd ignore it yet a burning feeling in my heart was saying to LET GO!
So finally God sent me a dream where he told me that if I do not break away from from my relationship I will either DIE at age 25 or in 25 years I will die.
So finally after a few weeks I found out he was living with the girl he had been cheating on me with. So I broke up with him. I was hurt but I was SO MUCH more happier with myself then I've ever been with him.
I talked with my best friend and her husband telling me what a true relationship and love is about. And they helped me a lot. So I went back on one of my dating sites and fixed up my profile and started on my quest of love again.
Literally 3 days after I broke up with my ex a guy messages me that grabbed my interest. And I was talking to a few guys but none grabbed my interest like he did.
So I started talking to him and one thing kept leading to the other. First we talking on computer, then we txted each other , then we called one another and the we skyped one another. It felt like God sent this man to me. I really do and the reason I say that is because.
I had my account set up where anyone can find me and matches that related to what I was looking for. His profile was set up for people that were ONLY NEAR him and matches related to that. Well at the end of the day I was 500+ miles away from him and yet he finds me on his matches.
We talked about many things. To God, my life, his life, our dreams To funny images we would find on the internet. He was the man I always wanted to be with and God knew before I knew that in myself.
Finally one day he asks me out and I said yes. I can understand that after breaking up with my other ex and how it could harm this relationship but I took a chance and I'm glad that I did.
He was the first to say that he loved me and he told me that he never has done that before in his life. His last relationship was with a girl that cheated on him for 6 YEARS. Finally when she cheated on him again he dropped her and ignore all her calls and txt he was that hurt. For 2 years he has been dating but no one interested him until he found me.
He told me that being with me was like Home to him even if we were in a Long distance relationship. Everything was great we had our moments but we still continued to make it through until I started losing it...
At the time in my life I may have known God and prayed before I ate but the things I was doing wasn't godly either still.
I had brought in pain and frustration into something so beautiful. While he was doing his best in the relationship I was literally tearing it down. We aren't perfect but he respected me and everything I did but at the end of the day I said I didn't trust him when he gave me MANY reasons to trust him.
It hurt him a lot and so he ignored me one day and I was worried and freaking out until he finally answered his phone. He told me he had to think about what I had said to him and calm himself down before he could talk to me again because what I said hurt him so much.
I apologize and I was truly sad about it but I still kinda made excuses but I was working on them, but then the devil was just having a field day on me.
One day everything was going wrong and on that day and the next days that came after I continued to let it get to me to the point where I was blaming him for things that he didn't do!
Finally again he ignored me but this time it was longer. I would send him messages and call him like 40 times and still nothing. I was getting depressed and started losing it and falling back into my suicide phase that my 4th ex had brought into my mind.
Then finally he messaged me saying.
"I did some soul searching and I can't do this anymore."
It felt like someone ripped my heart out stomped on it, stabbed it then gave it back to me.
He gave me a necklace that was his birthstone and told me that to him a necklace meant more to him then a ring and we talked about getting married and our future together. So I knew I wanted to marry this man and he wanted to marry me. He told me I was the One for him.
But I messed up. I turned to EVERYTHING but God. And it all sent me into the darkness alone and crying. Until finally my last resort was God. I cried and ask God to forgive me and to bring my current ex his name is Colter. Back to me.
I'd get dreams of us back together happy and then on 3 occasions I'd get bad dreams where it's him telling me he hates me or he is just using me for sex. I felt like those dreams were from the devil because I know for a fact that Colter isn't that type of person.
Well for 3 months now Family I've been asking God to help me and bring back the man that I really love that I had been with for 6 months that felt like forever. I asked God to give me another chance with him and to show him how I have changed.
It's been hard because he has been ignoring me so it has been no walk in the park. I've been happier ever since I've gotten closer to God. He would even send me answers I would be praying for. When I finally focused on God he sent me this Bible Study book called, One in a Million by Priscilla Shirer.
God sent me a sign that made me feel that we were going to get back together because. There is this gift box that Colter bought me that says
"1 in a million" on it just like the title of the Bible study book.
Everyday I was growing stronger but the Devil still kept throwing his punches at me until one day the devil went on the extreme.
I txted my ex one day telling him how I've been. And that it would be nice to talk to him again. I didn't force or command him too. I just said it would be nice.
Whether he txted me or not I still stayed strong but the anxiety was getting to me and making me sick. But I pushed on and kept reading my Bible study for that night. I didn't get a txt which I was fine with but trying to sleep I was not fine with.
Finally I fell asleep and that's when I had my nightmare.
The nightmare started with me laying in my bed in the dark when I slowly started waking up and heading someone walk towards me on the other side of the bed where my back was facing them. It was a black figure walking towards my bed with him dragging a chair behind him so he can take a sit next to my bed.
It kinda scared me and I was trying to ignore the sounds until he started talking to me saying,"Do you really believe you relationship is going to work?"
Once he said all this questioning things to me my phone went off like I got a message. But it was a email and not a txt message. So I opened my email that was hooked to my phone and say that the email was from the black figure.
I opened it and it was nothing but pure evil video of nothing but voices and evil figures telling me my relationship won't work that I'm being lied to and that my faith won't save me and that God won't do anything to help and I shouldn't put my trust in him. And I fought off the words as much as I could and I was doing well until.
They started getting physical.
They started jabbing me I the ribs laughing at me. It hurt and it was a very uncomfortable ticklish feeling. I tried fighting off that but then something started scratching my hand that I was holding my phone with.
Once that started happening I couldn't take it and I ran to my mothers room so she can wake me. But my voice wasn't working and so I had to shake her awake. Everytime she get close to waking up the nightmare would start breaking up like a record scratching when it would stop. So finally she woke up and I woke up from my nightmare.
I immediately turned on the lights calmed myself down and started reading my Bible study book and the Bible.
I couldn't sleep after that until like 5 or 6 when the sun finally shown in my room. Then I had a really sweet dream about me and Colter.
We were in his car joking around being playfully mean to each other. Then I hugged him and told I love you and he hugged me back right saying I love you back and then the dream ended.
Family it's been very hard and it's hard to see if God is saying Yes I will get back with the man I love or if it's just the devil making me THINK I'm getting back with the man I love and God is saying No.
I believe it will happen but it's been so hard to have patience because I'm scared that he might go off and love someone else because I messed up and waited too long. Yet I feel that it's right for me to wait.
I want to thank everyone for reading this and helping me. I felt so alone with this problem and it's great to know that there are people out there that do understand.
The Bible study was perfectly on time and I thank God everyday for it. And now I'm here wanting to get help from my Christian family. Thank you guys so much and God Bless!
3 months ago my boyfriend broke up with me.
This maybe a situation that some of you may or may not have witnessed but I feel very alone in this matter.
Before my met my current ex I had 4 other boyfriends who didn't work out with expect one who is my best friend now.
But my 4th one was terrible. He was a liar a cheater and he cares about no one but himself. I tried everything in my power to try and change him so he can help himself but in the end he was changing me. I was doing so many ungodly things and asking God to help me with a problem.
I pretty much was asking a doctor to help me with stomach pains while I was eating poisoned bread.
No matter what I did he still lied about everything. God would show me through dreams how unfaithful my ex was being and I'd ignore it yet a burning feeling in my heart was saying to LET GO!
So finally God sent me a dream where he told me that if I do not break away from from my relationship I will either DIE at age 25 or in 25 years I will die.
So finally after a few weeks I found out he was living with the girl he had been cheating on me with. So I broke up with him. I was hurt but I was SO MUCH more happier with myself then I've ever been with him.
I talked with my best friend and her husband telling me what a true relationship and love is about. And they helped me a lot. So I went back on one of my dating sites and fixed up my profile and started on my quest of love again.
Literally 3 days after I broke up with my ex a guy messages me that grabbed my interest. And I was talking to a few guys but none grabbed my interest like he did.
So I started talking to him and one thing kept leading to the other. First we talking on computer, then we txted each other , then we called one another and the we skyped one another. It felt like God sent this man to me. I really do and the reason I say that is because.
I had my account set up where anyone can find me and matches that related to what I was looking for. His profile was set up for people that were ONLY NEAR him and matches related to that. Well at the end of the day I was 500+ miles away from him and yet he finds me on his matches.
We talked about many things. To God, my life, his life, our dreams To funny images we would find on the internet. He was the man I always wanted to be with and God knew before I knew that in myself.
Finally one day he asks me out and I said yes. I can understand that after breaking up with my other ex and how it could harm this relationship but I took a chance and I'm glad that I did.
He was the first to say that he loved me and he told me that he never has done that before in his life. His last relationship was with a girl that cheated on him for 6 YEARS. Finally when she cheated on him again he dropped her and ignore all her calls and txt he was that hurt. For 2 years he has been dating but no one interested him until he found me.
He told me that being with me was like Home to him even if we were in a Long distance relationship. Everything was great we had our moments but we still continued to make it through until I started losing it...
At the time in my life I may have known God and prayed before I ate but the things I was doing wasn't godly either still.
I had brought in pain and frustration into something so beautiful. While he was doing his best in the relationship I was literally tearing it down. We aren't perfect but he respected me and everything I did but at the end of the day I said I didn't trust him when he gave me MANY reasons to trust him.
It hurt him a lot and so he ignored me one day and I was worried and freaking out until he finally answered his phone. He told me he had to think about what I had said to him and calm himself down before he could talk to me again because what I said hurt him so much.
I apologize and I was truly sad about it but I still kinda made excuses but I was working on them, but then the devil was just having a field day on me.
One day everything was going wrong and on that day and the next days that came after I continued to let it get to me to the point where I was blaming him for things that he didn't do!
Finally again he ignored me but this time it was longer. I would send him messages and call him like 40 times and still nothing. I was getting depressed and started losing it and falling back into my suicide phase that my 4th ex had brought into my mind.
Then finally he messaged me saying.
"I did some soul searching and I can't do this anymore."
It felt like someone ripped my heart out stomped on it, stabbed it then gave it back to me.
He gave me a necklace that was his birthstone and told me that to him a necklace meant more to him then a ring and we talked about getting married and our future together. So I knew I wanted to marry this man and he wanted to marry me. He told me I was the One for him.
But I messed up. I turned to EVERYTHING but God. And it all sent me into the darkness alone and crying. Until finally my last resort was God. I cried and ask God to forgive me and to bring my current ex his name is Colter. Back to me.
I'd get dreams of us back together happy and then on 3 occasions I'd get bad dreams where it's him telling me he hates me or he is just using me for sex. I felt like those dreams were from the devil because I know for a fact that Colter isn't that type of person.
Well for 3 months now Family I've been asking God to help me and bring back the man that I really love that I had been with for 6 months that felt like forever. I asked God to give me another chance with him and to show him how I have changed.
It's been hard because he has been ignoring me so it has been no walk in the park. I've been happier ever since I've gotten closer to God. He would even send me answers I would be praying for. When I finally focused on God he sent me this Bible Study book called, One in a Million by Priscilla Shirer.
God sent me a sign that made me feel that we were going to get back together because. There is this gift box that Colter bought me that says
"1 in a million" on it just like the title of the Bible study book.
Everyday I was growing stronger but the Devil still kept throwing his punches at me until one day the devil went on the extreme.
I txted my ex one day telling him how I've been. And that it would be nice to talk to him again. I didn't force or command him too. I just said it would be nice.
Whether he txted me or not I still stayed strong but the anxiety was getting to me and making me sick. But I pushed on and kept reading my Bible study for that night. I didn't get a txt which I was fine with but trying to sleep I was not fine with.
Finally I fell asleep and that's when I had my nightmare.
The nightmare started with me laying in my bed in the dark when I slowly started waking up and heading someone walk towards me on the other side of the bed where my back was facing them. It was a black figure walking towards my bed with him dragging a chair behind him so he can take a sit next to my bed.
It kinda scared me and I was trying to ignore the sounds until he started talking to me saying,"Do you really believe you relationship is going to work?"
Once he said all this questioning things to me my phone went off like I got a message. But it was a email and not a txt message. So I opened my email that was hooked to my phone and say that the email was from the black figure.
I opened it and it was nothing but pure evil video of nothing but voices and evil figures telling me my relationship won't work that I'm being lied to and that my faith won't save me and that God won't do anything to help and I shouldn't put my trust in him. And I fought off the words as much as I could and I was doing well until.
They started getting physical.
They started jabbing me I the ribs laughing at me. It hurt and it was a very uncomfortable ticklish feeling. I tried fighting off that but then something started scratching my hand that I was holding my phone with.
Once that started happening I couldn't take it and I ran to my mothers room so she can wake me. But my voice wasn't working and so I had to shake her awake. Everytime she get close to waking up the nightmare would start breaking up like a record scratching when it would stop. So finally she woke up and I woke up from my nightmare.
I immediately turned on the lights calmed myself down and started reading my Bible study book and the Bible.
I couldn't sleep after that until like 5 or 6 when the sun finally shown in my room. Then I had a really sweet dream about me and Colter.
We were in his car joking around being playfully mean to each other. Then I hugged him and told I love you and he hugged me back right saying I love you back and then the dream ended.
Family it's been very hard and it's hard to see if God is saying Yes I will get back with the man I love or if it's just the devil making me THINK I'm getting back with the man I love and God is saying No.
I believe it will happen but it's been so hard to have patience because I'm scared that he might go off and love someone else because I messed up and waited too long. Yet I feel that it's right for me to wait.
I want to thank everyone for reading this and helping me. I felt so alone with this problem and it's great to know that there are people out there that do understand.
The Bible study was perfectly on time and I thank God everyday for it. And now I'm here wanting to get help from my Christian family. Thank you guys so much and God Bless!