im so angry right now

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ukkez

Guest
#1
#1
i do want pray but also to vent. that iv just got in from work, i spent my day off yesterday to clean the house and today the dogs have just chewed up aload of stuff, nothing important, but my huband asked me to bake a cake for his friend at work who did us a favor so i was up late doing that and hes forgotten to take it. from just this morning hes left his breakfast stuff around the house, and cups in the bedroom, i ask him to bring it down this morning when he got up, i go to work before him and hes not done it. it happens all the time, i feel i dont get the respect i deserve from him. i clean, and he just compleatly makes a mess he wont clean or do any gardening. all he cares about is cars and watching tv. im feeling warn out from cleaning up after him. i dont know what we need pray for or what i should be praying for myself. im just seeing red right now. but it seems such a silly little thing to get stressed about, all i ask is when i ask him to do me a little favor that he helps me. i keep looking at the bible verse about love. but right now i keep thinking of eatting the hole cake i baked and he can make his own when he wants to take one in, but that would be petty.
 
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lockedrob

Guest
#2
#2
Life is not easy and can relate as my husband and son are much the same as yours. Someone once gave me great advice when I was really having problems about being taken for granted if you pray for them often then you can spend less time being angry at them, still works really well for me. Will pray for you.
 
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nelita

Guest
#3
#3
This is what the bible talks about 'the little foxes spoil the vine" The accumulation of little unresolved problems cause many marriages to fail. If you look back he was like that from the start but there is a possibility that you put in your mind that you could change him. sometimes our expectations is the problem. You need to have emotional intimacy with your husband, which means he can hear you and respect and honor you and the same thing applies to you about him. Communication is so important, this can be affected financially as well. Let's pray - Father please forgive me for allowing anger, resentment, feel rejected and neglected by my husband, misunderstood and my needs are not being met. Lord, please help us to start taking time for You, reading the bible and praying together. Bring healing in his life and make him aware of my needs and the needs of our own household, amen. Jesus make yourself more real to us and help me to grow in You in a greater way.
 
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Jordache

Guest
#4
#4
I'm sorry for your situation. Those things are very frustrating. I'm sure you've spoken to your husband about it. Here's a suggestion. Take it or leave it. First, settle yourself. You feel a bit out-of-control because your doing all you can and it's not going how you'd like it. Very understandable. Next, sit calmly with your husband and share your feelings. "I feel very disrespected when you don't clean up after yourself, or ask me to do something for you and then forget about it." Then, lay out some practical suggestions. I hate cleaning, but I've found with myself that there are techniques which make it more managable. Flylady is a great resource. #1 Set a timer. 10 minutes in each location. 10 mins for the kitchen. 10 mins to pick up dishes. 10 mins to dust. Whatever. Or this is a technique I used with my students. #2 Pick up and put away 10 things. #3 Make a simple list. "Today (in the next 20 mins. I need you to take out the trash and replace the bags, shake off the rug, and dust the tv. Meanwhile, I will unload the dishwasher, feed the cat, and clear the table." Then set aside another 20 minutes later in the day. 20 mins after breakfast. 20 mins after dinner. Breaking up the time makes the tasks seem much more managable.
Also, OHIO... Only Handle It Once. I'm really good at taking a huge pile and slowly repiling until the pile gets smaller. Only handle it once means if you have a dirty dish you rinse it right away and put it in the dishwasher instead of placing it on the counter, then tomorrow in the sink, then a few hours later in the dishwasher. Or rather than piling dirty clothes and clean clothes, or hanging clothes and folding clothes.. you just put them away.
 
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AgeofKnowledge

Guest
#5
#5
Newer studies are showing that most men don't achieve full emotional maturity until age 43.. eleven years later than women.

The real problem for most men, imo, is how do you get them to mature faster so they "get it."
 
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ukkez

Guest
#6
#6
AgeofKnowledge said:
Newer studies are showing that most men don't achieve full emotional maturity until age 43.. eleven years later than women.

The real problem for most men, imo, is how do you get them to mature faster so they "get it."
Click to expand...
:eek: you what... i have to wait 18 years

thanks for ur replys. iv calmed down i prayed about it, and feel better. will be talking about it tonight. God bless
 
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PrincessJawhara

Guest
#7
#7
I'm sorry for your frustrations. Marriage is difficult. I just want to suggest taking a look at this book and website: "The Five Love Languages" Home | The 5 Love Languages®. It helped my best friend's marriage and many other couples that she knows - Christian and non-Christian. I know there is no one fix for every situation, but you never know. It never hurts to check it out.
 
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AgeofKnowledge

Guest
#8
#8
I'm a believer that weekly counseling through Christian counseling organizations like The Center For Individual & Family Counseling for six months to a year can really help couples a great deal. But it's difficult to get younger men to go to marriage counseling. They think everything's "fine" and don't see their need.
 
pickles

pickles

Senior Member
#9
Apr 20, 2009
14,479
182
63
#9
Hugs ukkez, after 32 years of marriage, I can tell you some things change, and some things dont. :)
When it comes to such things, it is good to talk to your husband, but keep always in mind, pick your battles and what matters most, then give Him to God, for He is an expert at miricals. :)
I found that printing up scriptures pertaining to love and how to love, then framing them and hanging them in front of the toilet, is and effective way to cause them to read and learn. :)
Praying in Jesus's name, for you and your husband for all that is God's love to perfect your marraige.:)

God bless
pickles
 
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