I'M SO ANGRY!

[Ladykool]

I was married. I thought he loved me only to discover almost two years ago that I was living in a land of lie. In fantasy. Then we divorced. I'm so hurt that I don't want to have anything to do with any man in this life any more. I just believe all men are the same. But then I'm a human being. I want to love and be loved. I have feelings. I ... I ... Really, I'm confused. Should I try other men? If yes, how do I free myself from this hurt? Or should I just forget about men completely and move on with life as if God never created any being called "male"?

 

[isaria]

You may need time to settle and heal before committing.
Giving up entirely on a romantic love life because of betrayal and hurt would be to sad.
Miracles do happen.
Theres good guys out there who truly would love you and you can always seal a prenuptual agreement and test him deeply where he stands before engaging.
Then again I was in commitment to someone for many many years and i was so loyal and naive .
I thought was in deep but he was educated and knew how to manipulate and fool people, he was also incredibly intelligent and actually did go deep with his scams and trickment.
I thought noone could surely go this deep and do such , but he did, deeply and truly.


Know many woman find out there husband is homosexual and gets "rise n shine" to keep up appearance for wife by fantasasians but finds it boring and dreams of being with his true love, the other one.
Theres also been many variations to this one and cover ups aswell as man under veils and golly youd be suprised.

Theres many variations.
The friend one is nice hey....
(not)


I am also astounded by treatment and things happened, betrayal.
Am trying to "get over it", heal.
So many years.
Also in court and trying remove some people from me.

Maybe what you need is beyond a man, more than a man, more than a human.
You need God and Jesus perhaps , maybe God can be your matchmaker and make miracle happen for you.
Maybe delivered to you will be better and more you could imagine and someone who will never betray you.

One still needs wants love, affection , but casual flings or one night stands are so empty bad make you feel worse not better.
Better save up for a massage instead, to get touch of some type.
Specially when dont have friends, family and always alone.
If you have a animal that headbutts you to show affection thats a type of affection but sometimes one wants to be touched, caressed, cuddled....
and holding hands another species feels different and more difficult do while walking down street

Dont give up.
Beleive in miracles and that you will be blessed with love.
This says i whom is isolated and aaalways alone, dont get me started on betrayal and .......

Anyway: God bless and best wishes for future love life and in healing.

 

[Ugly]

I was married. I thought he loved me only to discover almost two years ago that I was living in a land of lie. In fantasy. Then we divorced. I'm so hurt that I don't want to have anything to do with any man in this life any more. I just believe all men are the same. But then I'm a human being. I want to love and be loved. I have feelings. I ... I ... Really, I'm confused. Should I try other men? If yes, how do I free myself from this hurt? Or should I just forget about men completely and move on with life as if God never created any being called "male"?

Its these kinds of generalizations about men that really irritate me. I have been hurt by women, yet i am able to understand not all women can be lumped together. Not all women will do the things that have been done to me by women. What you're doing, by blaming all men, is quite unfair to the other roughly 3 billion other men on the planet.

Should you go in pretending half of the human race doesn't exist? Gods creations? I can't help but think that's, at best, a silly idea. Its understandable to be hurt and even feel some anger. But right now you're letting your anger control you and guide you into some really bad thinking. Stop accusing all men of being the same as the one you married. That's just not fair. Not to men, not to yourself.

And the last thing you need to do, right now, is consider going anywhere near another relationship. You need to get a hold of yourself, your feelings and hurt and learn to get past all these feelings. If you enter another relationship now, it will never last. That's assuming you could find anyone willing to take you with your present attitude. And if they did, it would never last. Chances are you'll end up taking out all of your anger on this innocent man.

 

[twofeet]

I think you are missing the point here LadyKool. Jesus should be our FIRST love, the one who loves you to the depth of your being, romances your soul. When thats in place , healing will come. After you are healed it will make no dffernce at all whether you date or dont date. It wont be such a big issue anymore. And before I get told "well I guess you have no idea how hurt I am" , I have had more than my fair share of bad relationships, some have even beat me up and threatened to kill me. One even called himself "Christian" , went to church and seemed like a godly man on the surface. Have I written all guys off because of that? No, defiantly not! There are still REAL, loving men of God out there.

 

[Jullianna]

You are hurt and angry, but on some level you must know that not all men are alike, just as not all women are alike.

Please give yourself time to heal and reprioritize before you go looking for a man to be your answer.

 

[MissCris]

Just an observation...it seems like when one gender starts lumping all of the opposite gender into one group and assuming they are all going to be horrible, it gives them kind of an excuse to go through relationship after relationship...

It seems like a mentality of "They're just going to hurt me, so I'll end it now" develops, and yet the person is lonely, so they just keep going through relationships, running away at the first sign of any kind of trouble. That's...sad, and not healthy.

Give yourself time to heal and forgive before even thinking about dating again.

 

[zeroturbulence]

All men aren't that way, but the real problem is that women seem to always fall for the ones that are that way. Meanwhile the truly loyal, sensitive guys that would never cheat on them get put in the friendzone.

 

[msbelle90]

Ladykool:

Firstly, your assumption that all men are this way is a natural reaction from your pain and anger. Does that justify it? Maybe. Does it make the assumption right? No. What you need is time and healing to recover from your wounds just as any athlete requires the same for an injury received on the field of play. You must pray and read God's word to see what he has in store for you.

Blessings and peace,

Msbelle90

 

[zaoman32]

I won't say anything different from anyone else has said, thus, I'm just wasting a post.

 

[ptlman]

LadyKool, you just need to be like your name. You just need to be cool right now. It is time for you to seek the Lord for His healing and comfort. He will meet you right where you are and help restore that which was broken and destroyed. Your heart has been crushed and broken into many pieces. Any type of relationship right now would end with you experiencing more and more hurt. MissCris is right about you going into relationship to relationship.

Healing is so very important. Without it, you will never be able to love or truly be loved. You will hold someone at a distance because you will have that fear driving you. The person God could have for you could be right there and you would push him away. Right now you need to focus on your relationship with the Lord and with learning from this heartache. Rom. 5:3-4 shows us that when we experience heartache and pain that we learn and develop character from it. What have you learned from this? What will you do differently in the next relationship that you are in?

You cannot put all men in the same category. There are some good God fearing men out there who would treat you with respect, love, and be devoted to you. Just take your time to heal, and discern the man before you get too involved. What seems good is not always good. Pray about each man you might be interested in. He will not let you down.

Be Blessed.

 

[Joe8264]

Lady kool, I'm angry too. I am divorced and was wronged by my ex with her narcissistic personality disorder. Well, strictly speaking, my anger is much better now. I agree with the posters that say you should wait for a bit before dating. I tried dating last year and found that I was still hurting too badly. I am still a mess but I am better than last year but realized that it would not be fair to a woman for me to date them in my condition. I don't think all women are bad but I definitely have my guard up and I have put up walls for my own protection. In my case, I think waiting to date is correct. Maybe you should consider this option. (As a funny note, I originally typed your name as Lady kook! Lol. Unintentionally I think.)

 

[IDEAtor]

...If you have a animal that headbutts...

Made me laugh and laugh. I get it, but it is so funny.

You may need time to settle and heal before committing.
Giving up entirely on a romantic love life because of betrayal and hurt would be to sad.
Miracles do happen.
Theres good guys out there who truly would love you and you can always seal a prenuptual agreement and test him deeply where he stands before engaging.
Then again I was in commitment to someone for many many years and i was so loyal and naive .
I thought was in deep but he was educated and knew how to manipulate and fool people, he was also incredibly intelligent and actually did go deep with his scams and trickment.
I thought noone could surely go this deep and do such , but he did, deeply and truly.


Know many woman find out there husband is homosexual and gets "rise n shine" to keep up appearance for wife by fantasasians but finds it boring and dreams of being with his true love, the other one.
Theres also been many variations to this one and cover ups aswell as man under veils and golly youd be suprised.

Theres many variations.
The friend one is nice hey....
(not)


I am also astounded by treatment and things happened, betrayal.
Am trying to "get over it", heal.
So many years.
Also in court and trying remove some people from me.

Maybe what you need is beyond a man, more than a man, more than a human.
You need God and Jesus perhaps , maybe God can be your matchmaker and make miracle happen for you.
Maybe delivered to you will be better and more you could imagine and someone who will never betray you.

One still needs wants love, affection , but casual flings or one night stands are so empty bad make you feel worse not better.
Better save up for a massage instead, to get touch of some type.
Specially when dont have friends, family and always alone.
If you have a animal that headbutts you to show affection thats a type of affection but sometimes one wants to be touched, caressed, cuddled....
and holding hands another species feels different and more difficult do while walking down street

Dont give up.
Beleive in miracles and that you will be blessed with love.
This says i whom is isolated and aaalways alone, dont get me started on betrayal and .......

Anyway: God bless and best wishes for future love life and in healing.

 

[mary70]

I was married. I thought he loved me only to discover almost two years ago that I was living in a land of lie. In fantasy. Then we divorced. I'm so hurt that I don't want to have anything to do with any man in this life any more. I just believe all men are the same. But then I'm a human being. I want to love and be loved. I have feelings. I ... I ... Really, I'm confused. Should I try other men? If yes, how do I free myself from this hurt? Or should I just forget about men completely and move on with life as if God never created any being called "male"?

keep trying