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Ah, how many times have I tried to type out an adequate introduction to myself on one of these sites? Perhaps a billion, or so it seems. I guess I'll give it another go.
I'm Alex, I'm 21 years old, and I live in East Tennessee. I have no idea what to write because I have no idea what you want to know about me. No box, regardless of how many characters it can hold, could possibly contain even the slightest sliver of any human being. To compose a paragraph stating even the basics of who I am, how I live, etc. etc. would be so long as to make you not want to read it.
So all I will say is this: If you want to know more about me, check out my blog. Please do not mistake that as self-promotion, or promotion of another site, because the only reason I mention my blog is because I honestly believe it's the quickest way to get to know me (as much as someone can get to know another via online forums). Also, if there is something you're dying to know about me, though I can't imagine there being anything, just ask me. Send me a message or an email or however you communicate on this site. I'd be more than happy to answer it, and I'd love a chat.
Last thing I'm saying, and the real reason for me joining this community of Christians online: Over the past, uhm, let's see, how many years?.... uh,, forever? See, it seems like forever because it's been since I can remember. Basically I've struggled with my "sexual orientation" (I suppose that's the best way to say it). Simply put, I'm attracted to both sexes, the same-sex more strongly. I won't give you the long version of my journey through the questions, emotions, intellectual battles, and spiritual warfare because it would take far too long. What's important is the fact that God has opened my eyes and my heart to His truths. I don't understand His ways, His thoughts truly are higher than mine, because I don't know why He allows me to struggle with this, I don't know why He gave me this cross to bear, and I don't know why He allows me to see the sin for what it is when I see so many others believing the lies of Satan. I could ask the "Why me?" question all day. But I know what I must do. After much pain and inner turmoil, after much denial and trying to rationalize the lifestyle of sin, I finally know that I must lay down my life and follow Christ. I choose to die daily, killing my flesh, in order that I may take up my cross, follow Christ, and live a life fully pleasing to God in obeying His commandants because I love Him.
I've spoken about this on my blog. I've emailed the pastor and received a reply (soon we will meet and talk). I've told one of my good friends from church ( a lady older than me who I look up to and trust). I will continue to be honest and open in exposing my sinful desires to those around me so that I can be held accountable, and so that the work of God can be displayed in my life; to Him be the glory.
I thought I might benefit from and online Christian community because perhaps there's a chance of someone else who is dealing with the same stuff I am, and maybe we could support one another. I know it's scary and it's tough, and every day it seems the attacks of Satan become more cunning and powerful. The doubts in my ability to endure sometimes wear me down to where I feel like I can't go on, but I must. My desire to live for God is strong- at least in moments. There are moments of weakness- extreme weakness.
So, if you've been there, walked through it with someone who has been there, or if you're just willing to walk beside me, please feel free to message me. Let's get to know one another. After all, we're brothers and sisters in Christ, right? Family?
Anyway, long introduction- I know, I ramble.
I hope everyone out there is having a blessed day and can find at least one thing to praise God about!
xx
I'm Alex, I'm 21 years old, and I live in East Tennessee. I have no idea what to write because I have no idea what you want to know about me. No box, regardless of how many characters it can hold, could possibly contain even the slightest sliver of any human being. To compose a paragraph stating even the basics of who I am, how I live, etc. etc. would be so long as to make you not want to read it.
So all I will say is this: If you want to know more about me, check out my blog. Please do not mistake that as self-promotion, or promotion of another site, because the only reason I mention my blog is because I honestly believe it's the quickest way to get to know me (as much as someone can get to know another via online forums). Also, if there is something you're dying to know about me, though I can't imagine there being anything, just ask me. Send me a message or an email or however you communicate on this site. I'd be more than happy to answer it, and I'd love a chat.
Last thing I'm saying, and the real reason for me joining this community of Christians online: Over the past, uhm, let's see, how many years?.... uh,, forever? See, it seems like forever because it's been since I can remember. Basically I've struggled with my "sexual orientation" (I suppose that's the best way to say it). Simply put, I'm attracted to both sexes, the same-sex more strongly. I won't give you the long version of my journey through the questions, emotions, intellectual battles, and spiritual warfare because it would take far too long. What's important is the fact that God has opened my eyes and my heart to His truths. I don't understand His ways, His thoughts truly are higher than mine, because I don't know why He allows me to struggle with this, I don't know why He gave me this cross to bear, and I don't know why He allows me to see the sin for what it is when I see so many others believing the lies of Satan. I could ask the "Why me?" question all day. But I know what I must do. After much pain and inner turmoil, after much denial and trying to rationalize the lifestyle of sin, I finally know that I must lay down my life and follow Christ. I choose to die daily, killing my flesh, in order that I may take up my cross, follow Christ, and live a life fully pleasing to God in obeying His commandants because I love Him.
I've spoken about this on my blog. I've emailed the pastor and received a reply (soon we will meet and talk). I've told one of my good friends from church ( a lady older than me who I look up to and trust). I will continue to be honest and open in exposing my sinful desires to those around me so that I can be held accountable, and so that the work of God can be displayed in my life; to Him be the glory.
I thought I might benefit from and online Christian community because perhaps there's a chance of someone else who is dealing with the same stuff I am, and maybe we could support one another. I know it's scary and it's tough, and every day it seems the attacks of Satan become more cunning and powerful. The doubts in my ability to endure sometimes wear me down to where I feel like I can't go on, but I must. My desire to live for God is strong- at least in moments. There are moments of weakness- extreme weakness.
So, if you've been there, walked through it with someone who has been there, or if you're just willing to walk beside me, please feel free to message me. Let's get to know one another. After all, we're brothers and sisters in Christ, right? Family?
Anyway, long introduction- I know, I ramble.
I hope everyone out there is having a blessed day and can find at least one thing to praise God about!
xx
