Is it wrong to want attractive children?

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cutepoison

cutepoison

Banned
#1
Sep 12, 2012
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#1
When I have children, I want them to be physically attractive. Is that wrong? I kinda feel like I'll be "punished" for the thought and they won't be attractive. I'm not trolling here. I just feel like they would feel better about themselves, etc. It sounds very stupid as I read this back to myself, but it is just a thought I have had for a while.
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#2
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
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#2
I don't think it's necessarily wrong, you can't blame a parent for wanting their children to be smart, good looking, successful, not have any worries, etc., but I don't think it's something you should focus on. Besides, I'd hate to think that my parents were disappointed in me because I wasn't attractive enough for their liking. That just doesn't sound like a parent's love. A mother's love or a father's love goes so much deeper than the exterior. :)

Also, there are "unattractive" people who feel just fine about themselves, and "attractive" people who feel horrible about themselves. Attractiveness is no guarantee that life will be easier for someone, or any sort of guarantee on self-esteem.
 
cutepoison

cutepoison

Banned
#3
Sep 12, 2012
119
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#3
rachelsedge said:
I don't think it's necessarily wrong, you can't blame a parent for wanting their children to be smart, good looking, successful, not have any worries, etc., but I don't think it's something you should focus on. Besides, I'd hate to think that my parents were disappointed in me because I wasn't attractive enough for their liking. That just doesn't sound like a parent's love. A mother's love or a father's love goes so much deeper than the exterior. :)

Also, there are "unattractive" people who feel just fine about themselves, and "attractive" people who feel horrible about themselves. Attractiveness is no guarantee that life will be easier for someone, or any sort of guarantee on self-esteem.
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I wouldn't be disappointed or not love my child just because they weren't attractive! lol I just do desire the best for them. You make many good points though. I just think most people are self-conscious about something that has to do with their appearance? I know I am. They are fixable things, but still.
 
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intercessorginger

Guest
#4
#4
What really matters in life...after all the superficial things have been put to rest, is your relationship with the Lord. Everything else takes a back seat, because that is the only thing that's eternal.
 
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Theophane

Guest
#6
#6
@cutepoison

You are probably most worried about craniofacial deformities, am I right?
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#7
#7
lol i was thinking most babies come out looking pretty deformed for the first few weeks of their lives because of the trauma of passing through the vaginal canal. especially if the doctor had to suction or use foreceps to help the baby get out.

however I believe most parents think their babies are beautiful and perfect and are happy they are healthy even if they won't be winning any baby beauty pageants.

there is more to beauty than outward appearance, i would like my kids to be known for their spiritual purity and love more than their physical attractiveness.


i have found that my friends who are gorgeous have a lot of problems with guys paying more attention to their breasts and less to who they really are. so outward beauty can have its draw backs and is fading.

I think it would do all of us good to look beyond the outward flesh at the heart and spirit of another.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#8
#8
Feeling good about yourself has little to do with good looks and everything to do with how you're raised. If you think 'good looking' children are naturally going to feel better about themselves, you have much to learn. Some of the most insecure people i have met have been some of the most attractive. Because they were not raised being told their value by their parents. And i've seen some quite unattractive people very secure in themselves because their parents instilled a sense of self worth while they were young.
 
cutepoison

cutepoison

Banned
#10
Sep 12, 2012
119
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#10
You guys have made some great points. I think some of it stems from my own insecurities about things.
 
O

OceanGrl

Guest
#11
#11
This is something I have never really thought about, but I don't think looks have much to do with how I will love my future children. If they are attractive, then great, but I would worry more about them just growing up to be good, responsible, productive adults.
 
JGPS

JGPS

Banned
#12
Jan 11, 2013
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#12
Naturally one wants cute kids. There is no reason not to want a good thing.

If they are for some reason unattractive, I'm sure you will deal with it and love them just as well, but there is no reason to not want any good thing in ones kids.
 
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CoolBeans

Guest
#13
#13
all i can say is i wish i was better looking :p
 
SeanS

SeanS

Banned
#14
Jan 14, 2013
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cutepoison said:
When I have children, I want them to be physically attractive. Is that wrong? I kinda feel like I'll be "punished" for the thought and they won't be attractive. I'm not trolling here. I just feel like they would feel better about themselves, etc. It sounds very stupid as I read this back to myself, but it is just a thought I have had for a while.
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hahahahaha
 
HoldingOn2013

HoldingOn2013

Banned
#15
Dec 25, 2012
419
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#15
I always just wanted healthy kids. And thank God both my boys have not had any major health problems. Although we've had a few scares with the oldest. I can't say I ever prayed for God to give me good looking kids..LOL... I prayed for healthy, strong kids. And now at 15 and 8 yrs old I pray for healthy, strong, christian men who will stand on his word and not compromise. I'm asking God to bring good Christian women into their life as they get older who will look at them for who they are in Christ.... not just what's in it for them. ;)
 
cutepoison

cutepoison

Banned
#16
Sep 12, 2012
119
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#16
Yes. Once again I AM NOT saying I'd have a problem with my kids if they were unattractive!! LOL

I was saying I want them to have the least amount of reasons possible to be insecure about themselves. It is not about me dealing with it, it is about them dealing with it.

I don't want them all into themselves either though! haha

I don't pray for attractive children either, I just have had the thought. Of course there are more important things. :)
 
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Yourfriend4life

Guest
#17
#17
no i think thats a normal and healthy thing to wish for
 
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Relena7

Guest
#18
#18
I think it would sound more taboo to wish for hideous children. xD


Joking aside... it depends on the reasons you want them to be attractive. The reasons you stated don't sound like bad reasons for wanting cute kids. You are just being honest with yourself in public. :)

Most parents think their kids are beautiful no matter what anyway.
 
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Relena7

Guest
#19
#19
I think I was an ugly baby. I looked like a little sumo wrestler. I didn't get cute until around age 2. My mom said strangers fussed over me most when I was a toddler and little girl, not as a baby.

Some kids take a few years to get to a cute phase. :p Nothing wrong with that.
 
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kittycat7

Guest
#20
#20
I don't think that's worng: we all want pretty children: lol
 
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