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M
I've been on both sides of it. I've been the one working and the one being provided for. And to clarify what it means to me, I'd have to describe in detail the events and situations at the time and the rest of the back-story.
I've always had big dreams since I was a kid, but I've also been in poverty almost all my life. I have a great work ethic and I study for fun. I've always wanted to be a Veterinarian or some kind of doctor or working with animals and to open a few of my own businesses and buy apartment buildings. Not because I want to be money-bags rich but because I love working and being active. I've got my whole life worked out in my head. From my kids names to what I want to do with their education and my own. I want my clinics to be top class, checkups, grooming, training and so on. I want to be the one everybody comes to with any and all of their animal problems. I'd even open up a zoo/sanctuary if it were possible.
But life has been pretty hard on me. I've been looking for a stable job since I turned 16 and moved in with Grandparents who didn't help me for anything. I had to take two buses a day to get to work or walk where ever I needed to go and where I lived was a bad neighborhood. They didn't feed me and even though my mom was nice enough to give THEM my child-support money, they paid their rent with it. (My grandparents were NOT hurting for money) and they would threaten my mother not to claim me on her taxes, even though she was financially suffering. So I had to steal for my food alot and even though I knew I was sinning I went to bed hungry more than twice. My grandparents were very controlling of what I did, said and thought. Even though I was the most respectful teenager you could meet, they complained about me every second of the day to other people who had way too much time on their hands. So I would rather be out on the streets in that bad neighborhood than be controlled to the absolute "T". I tried to be as good as possible in the eyes of the Lord. There was a ton of pan-handlers that I gave food to, going to the 99 cent store with just 5 dollars and going home with 3 dollars worth of food. I gave my pennies and nickles and dimes to the church. After a while, I didn't need to steal anymore but it was still hard. The guys I've dated have also improved the state of my life, both financially and emotionally.
I HAVE THE MONEY
Eventually I got my first job and was in the middle of a break-up/ new rebound relationship. My bf before had a great job and was very selfish. We had been together 4 years and he was an alcoholic/pothead with a video game addiction. He expected me to be able to support myself completely at 16-18 and I was always lonely at my grandparents house. I told him my troubles, expecting him to help or at least hang out with me to cheer me up....Nope...never had time for me. So I left him and started perusing another guy. He was still in High School and I had already graduated early, but I would beg my grandparents/even panhandle just to see him. He made me feel like the most beautiful and cherished person in the world and I felt like a woman when I was with him. I got my first job the second week we were dating and my job was right in between his house and mine, making it easy to see him and spend time after school. He was a spoiled kid and I was his first gf, he lived in a great neighborhood. He asked me to spend money on him and of course he had no respect for the dollar. It irritated me and he understood that I couldn't be dropping money on dates every time we went out. But he was also a sheltered kid so I dragged him along where ever I went and we walked through the three cities of our area and he loved it. Anytime he got money from his mom we took the bus everywhere and he loved that too. We made friends with people who had cars, which made things easier. I was able to save money from my second job(both seasonal) and lived pretty good for a year and a half. We still stole alot and made Halloween awesome. He had a garage sale and made Valentine's awesome. It was weird being pampered that day but I'd be lying if I told you I didn't cry of joy after. It was...so tiring...living like that. But we ended up breaking up after he moved to Oregon. Truthfully I was way to exhausted from those two years to keep up taking care of him. And I was too emotionally distraught to be by myself.
Fast forward to 2013
For the past 6 months or so, I'm back together with my first bf. He can be finicky with money but he's learned to trust me and has changed his life around completely. I had a small babysitting job this summer watching my sister-in-laws kids and made some good money. We are engaged and I'm out of that hell-hole I used to live in and he works a good (hard) job working for Walmart. When we both made the money he felt a bit intimidated with me being independent and expected me to help with rent. I didn't and enjoyed what I did with my money
He makes 800 a month and I made 400 at the time.
WHEN HE HAD THE MONEY
After that last relationship that ended North was done, I dated plenty of guys who had money and pampered me feverishly. One guy had a great job over minimum wage, his own car, insurance and had so much dough that extra expenses during a date were not even a big deal. I had been so used to ordering just a burger with a glass of water for so long that when he told me to get a big double burger and a milkshake while eating at Rudy's on the pier I was the happiest and fullest I'd been in a while. We got along and had physical chemistry but his personality was way too loony for me and I guess I wasn't phyco enough for him.Still, the perks and fun times I had were priceless.
Next was a guy who lived with his rich grandpa. His grandpa was a retired lawyer who believed education was everything and was very reserved, like me. We got along swell but his grandson was super immature and morbidly obese. I stuck in the relationship for 3-5 months before throwing in the towel, but before that I was driven everywhere without worrying about contributing anything. We went to the movies once a week, the mall almost every other day, Guitar Center. He bought me ice cream and jewlery whenever I wanted. (I never had to ask, he would ask me first if I liked it, then bought it) I lived like a princess. But I still felt awful for not working and useless for not contributing. I gave him little trinkets that meant something to me and taught him how to love someone the proper way. At this time I was ready to join the Airforce but he kept begging me not to. I ended up leaving him because I found out he was bisexual . ( I find this extra disgusting)
Now I live with my Fiance who been with off and on for 7 years. He's given me a home where I can, do, say and think as I please and he takes care of me financially too. My body is more relaxed, mentally and spiritually I am more free and comfortable. He will always give me a home, but it's up to me to pamper myself. And I believe that's how it should always be :]
I've always had big dreams since I was a kid, but I've also been in poverty almost all my life. I have a great work ethic and I study for fun. I've always wanted to be a Veterinarian or some kind of doctor or working with animals and to open a few of my own businesses and buy apartment buildings. Not because I want to be money-bags rich but because I love working and being active. I've got my whole life worked out in my head. From my kids names to what I want to do with their education and my own. I want my clinics to be top class, checkups, grooming, training and so on. I want to be the one everybody comes to with any and all of their animal problems. I'd even open up a zoo/sanctuary if it were possible.
But life has been pretty hard on me. I've been looking for a stable job since I turned 16 and moved in with Grandparents who didn't help me for anything. I had to take two buses a day to get to work or walk where ever I needed to go and where I lived was a bad neighborhood. They didn't feed me and even though my mom was nice enough to give THEM my child-support money, they paid their rent with it. (My grandparents were NOT hurting for money) and they would threaten my mother not to claim me on her taxes, even though she was financially suffering. So I had to steal for my food alot and even though I knew I was sinning I went to bed hungry more than twice. My grandparents were very controlling of what I did, said and thought. Even though I was the most respectful teenager you could meet, they complained about me every second of the day to other people who had way too much time on their hands. So I would rather be out on the streets in that bad neighborhood than be controlled to the absolute "T". I tried to be as good as possible in the eyes of the Lord. There was a ton of pan-handlers that I gave food to, going to the 99 cent store with just 5 dollars and going home with 3 dollars worth of food. I gave my pennies and nickles and dimes to the church. After a while, I didn't need to steal anymore but it was still hard. The guys I've dated have also improved the state of my life, both financially and emotionally.
I HAVE THE MONEY
Eventually I got my first job and was in the middle of a break-up/ new rebound relationship. My bf before had a great job and was very selfish. We had been together 4 years and he was an alcoholic/pothead with a video game addiction. He expected me to be able to support myself completely at 16-18 and I was always lonely at my grandparents house. I told him my troubles, expecting him to help or at least hang out with me to cheer me up....Nope...never had time for me. So I left him and started perusing another guy. He was still in High School and I had already graduated early, but I would beg my grandparents/even panhandle just to see him. He made me feel like the most beautiful and cherished person in the world and I felt like a woman when I was with him. I got my first job the second week we were dating and my job was right in between his house and mine, making it easy to see him and spend time after school. He was a spoiled kid and I was his first gf, he lived in a great neighborhood. He asked me to spend money on him and of course he had no respect for the dollar. It irritated me and he understood that I couldn't be dropping money on dates every time we went out. But he was also a sheltered kid so I dragged him along where ever I went and we walked through the three cities of our area and he loved it. Anytime he got money from his mom we took the bus everywhere and he loved that too. We made friends with people who had cars, which made things easier. I was able to save money from my second job(both seasonal) and lived pretty good for a year and a half. We still stole alot and made Halloween awesome. He had a garage sale and made Valentine's awesome. It was weird being pampered that day but I'd be lying if I told you I didn't cry of joy after. It was...so tiring...living like that. But we ended up breaking up after he moved to Oregon. Truthfully I was way to exhausted from those two years to keep up taking care of him. And I was too emotionally distraught to be by myself.
Fast forward to 2013
For the past 6 months or so, I'm back together with my first bf. He can be finicky with money but he's learned to trust me and has changed his life around completely. I had a small babysitting job this summer watching my sister-in-laws kids and made some good money. We are engaged and I'm out of that hell-hole I used to live in and he works a good (hard) job working for Walmart. When we both made the money he felt a bit intimidated with me being independent and expected me to help with rent. I didn't and enjoyed what I did with my money
He makes 800 a month and I made 400 at the time. WHEN HE HAD THE MONEY
After that last relationship that ended North was done, I dated plenty of guys who had money and pampered me feverishly. One guy had a great job over minimum wage, his own car, insurance and had so much dough that extra expenses during a date were not even a big deal. I had been so used to ordering just a burger with a glass of water for so long that when he told me to get a big double burger and a milkshake while eating at Rudy's on the pier I was the happiest and fullest I'd been in a while. We got along and had physical chemistry but his personality was way too loony for me and I guess I wasn't phyco enough for him.Still, the perks and fun times I had were priceless.
Next was a guy who lived with his rich grandpa. His grandpa was a retired lawyer who believed education was everything and was very reserved, like me. We got along swell but his grandson was super immature and morbidly obese. I stuck in the relationship for 3-5 months before throwing in the towel, but before that I was driven everywhere without worrying about contributing anything. We went to the movies once a week, the mall almost every other day, Guitar Center. He bought me ice cream and jewlery whenever I wanted. (I never had to ask, he would ask me first if I liked it, then bought it) I lived like a princess. But I still felt awful for not working and useless for not contributing. I gave him little trinkets that meant something to me and taught him how to love someone the proper way. At this time I was ready to join the Airforce but he kept begging me not to. I ended up leaving him because I found out he was bisexual . ( I find this extra disgusting)
Now I live with my Fiance who been with off and on for 7 years. He's given me a home where I can, do, say and think as I please and he takes care of me financially too. My body is more relaxed, mentally and spiritually I am more free and comfortable. He will always give me a home, but it's up to me to pamper myself. And I believe that's how it should always be :]
I think it depends, i like the stay home wife/mother role, and my partner works, he has nothing to worry about when he comes home, washing-done, cooking-done, child-happy and content, house clean-done, i like looking after him and he loves looking after us, I work from home now again. I guess it dependson your own relationship really, if yous BOTH think its ok to both work then cool, if yous are BOTH ok with one a stay at home partner/parent then thats cool.
Me and my partner have had more than our share of ups and downs, but more good then bad. And now that we have God to lead us, our relationship is stronger than ever.
Me and my partner have had more than our share of ups and downs, but more good then bad. And now that we have God to lead us, our relationship is stronger than ever.