Looking for some input...
- Thread starter Crypto
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Concerning the parents reaction....don't expect to be able to reason with them. From personal experience, some parents expect to always have emotional control over their children simply because they are 'the parents'. I cannot have any in-depth conversations with my parents because they see themselves as superior to me in everything. They just laugh and shrug off what I say as insignificant. And they don't want to look at their own spiritual depravity.
Don't let their negative reactions hurt you...guard your heart and try not to just 'react'. Praying for strength and guidance for you
.
Don't let their negative reactions hurt you...guard your heart and try not to just 'react'. Praying for strength and guidance for you
.
I've been reading "Charity and It's Fruits" By Jonathan Edwards and it's taught me quite a bit about how to have a loving disposition towards people who cause us harm. I pretty much decided yesterday that I wouldn't let the situation cause me to lose anymore sleep, and I slept pretty good =).
Ah...I see.
That's a tricky age. Your children are in many ways still children at 19 if you haven't done the job just right, and as yet not adults in thought processes. This is the beginning of the letting go, and especially if she's the oldest, they have no experience yet (the parents).
Each stage of the firstborn's development is brand spanking new to parents, and we make a lot of critical mistakes with them.
Not to excuse M&D...they have some 'splaining to do, as far as the Lord is concerned. But I do believe He will deal with them if they are His own. They are what I call 'authoritarian' in their parenting style, and you are correct, at this stage of life, it's about influencing rather than controlling.
I just wanted to say, to help you have mercy toward them, that many parents who operate in this style do it out of fear, even if they don't know it. They fear something will happen to their child and think if they could just control them, the child will be safe.
I can't say for sure this is they, but hope to give you hope. We do, as parents, eventually find we have to loosen the reins.
I like what Ken and Lucy say. Wise people.
Perhaps the thing to do now is...let go? (even of this friendship) Ask the Lord to fill you with forgiveness for all, and walk away from this relationship for now. Damage has been done, but it doesn't sound like God's timing for things to change.
Sometimes waiting is the resolution for the moment...but of course, I am uncertain how things got worse. (and please don't feel you have to tell me )
You poor thing! All these words, and not a lick of help.
Prayers continue!
-ellie
That's a tricky age. Your children are in many ways still children at 19 if you haven't done the job just right, and as yet not adults in thought processes. This is the beginning of the letting go, and especially if she's the oldest, they have no experience yet (the parents).
Each stage of the firstborn's development is brand spanking new to parents, and we make a lot of critical mistakes with them.
Not to excuse M&D...they have some 'splaining to do, as far as the Lord is concerned. But I do believe He will deal with them if they are His own. They are what I call 'authoritarian' in their parenting style, and you are correct, at this stage of life, it's about influencing rather than controlling.
I just wanted to say, to help you have mercy toward them, that many parents who operate in this style do it out of fear, even if they don't know it. They fear something will happen to their child and think if they could just control them, the child will be safe.
I can't say for sure this is they, but hope to give you hope. We do, as parents, eventually find we have to loosen the reins.
I like what Ken and Lucy say. Wise people.
Perhaps the thing to do now is...let go? (even of this friendship) Ask the Lord to fill you with forgiveness for all, and walk away from this relationship for now. Damage has been done, but it doesn't sound like God's timing for things to change.
Sometimes waiting is the resolution for the moment...but of course, I am uncertain how things got worse. (and please don't feel you have to tell me
)You poor thing! All these words, and not a lick of help.
Prayers continue!
-ellie