lost in my Marriage

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
J

joe05

Guest
#1
#1
I got married in 2007 no children but that is not a problem. the problem is that i broke up with my wife for 2 years because i felt that we did not belongue together as we were fighting all the time for no sense. i made some very stupid decision back then that really affected her and the way i broke up with her was just discusting. So i decide to go back with her as i felt that i still loved her. kindely in half she took me back but here is the real Problem i have been in love with a girl way before i even met my wife , never been together because i was to shy to tell her, we took different ways. since then i never forgoten her one bit, my heart beat even when i see her picture, i feel like she the missing peace of my hart, feel that i can succed eyes close with her by my side. I think of her all the time when i wake up or go to sleep and i have NEVER NEVER NEVER feel like this for anyone else aprt from this girl. With my wife nothing has changed the fighting still there. Divorce is forbiden by the bible, i dont know what to do anymore?

i feel confuse and lost!
 
damombomb

damombomb

Senior Member
#2
Feb 27, 2011
3,801
68
48
#2
Do you love your wife? The bible says love her like Christ loved the church. She is the weaker vessel, your the head over her.
Do you think this other women is a temptation?
 
nkz0

nkz0

Member
#3
Nov 7, 2012
37
2
8
#3
you're married with X and think in love with Y? my income is x and my expenditure is Y and i am in debt so am thinking what's gonna be your life like.
we all need Jesus to be the LORD of our life else we are all doom.
 
3

38miles

Guest
#4
#4
joe05 said:
i feel like she the missing peace of my hart
Click to expand...
The missing piece of your heart, and peace of your heart, is Jesus Christ. Another human being cannot be God for you, cannot complete you. This "mythical" true love/soulmate idea is a lie, a fantasy sinful people like to play with. It is in itself sin--fruit on the tree that you just want to eat. You were told it isn't yours, but you just want to eat it. You are either following Christ and His want, or following yourself and your want. Think on Psalm 23, "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want." Pray that brother, be humble and trust Christ with your very soul.

joe05 said:
With my wife nothing has changed the fighting still there. Divorce is forbiden by the bible, i dont know what to do anymore?
i feel confuse and lost!
Click to expand...
See a biblical counselor. Get honest with each other and find out where each of you are wounded. Arguing is the outworked of unrest in both of you. Get to the "whys" and then through prayer and communication let the Holy Spirit work on both of your weary souls. God is at work in the hearts of those who love Him and call out to Him. Romans 8:28...
 
P

presidente

Senior Member
#5
May 29, 2013
9,091
1,754
113
#5
Joe05,

One of the ten commandments says 'thou shalt not covet.' In the Greek translation, covet is the same (or closely related form) of the word used when Jesus says that he that looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her in his heart.

It sounds like you have a lust problem when it comes to this girl. Don't look at her picture. I think you should be spending time in prayer about this, asking the Lord to help you with this desire of you to take it away from you.

Are you getting along with your wife? I read online that less than 1% of Christian marriages where couples regularly pray together end in divorce. Not fighting is a matter of following the word of God. If you love your wife as Christ loved the church, aren't harsh to her, and treat her with due honor, and if your wife submits to you and reverences you as the Bible teaches, that eliminates a lot of the yelling, bickering, not dropping matters that should be dropped, insisting on one's own way when one shouldn't, etc. in marriage. This is something you can study with your wife, and identify and pray about behaviors that don't fit with what the word teaches. Give each other permission to point it out when the other is not following the word and do so gently.
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#6
Jan 24, 2011
11,783
2,948
113
#6
You are being tempted by the devil. Love is not a feeling, it is a decision of our will. You decided to marry your wife, then she even took you back, after you abandoned her.

You better thank God you have such a loving and forgiving wife. And stop giving into lust and temptation or you will lose this good wife God has given you.

I have absolutely no use for men with fickle feelings. Sorry, that's just the way God made me. Follow your vows to your wife and to God!
 
J

joe05

Guest
#7
#7
i still love her but not the sameway
 
J

joe05

Guest
#8
#8
when i got married to her, i was not a christian i did not have people around me to advice me or to make me realise how important is marriage. i realise now we did not take time to know each other that much as it was more of a long distance relationship.
i am not trying to make excuses but IT IS KILLING ME to feel this way, i am thankful to her and God that she forgave me!
she does not deserve this!

i have been trying to get ride of the feeling for the other woman but nothing ever change. the thing is nothing ever happen between me and her
 
J

joe05

Guest
#9
#9
she doesn't want to see a ccounselor
 
J

joe05

Guest
#10
#10
we pray together all the time, follow the bible regarding how a woman or man should be. it last for 2 weeks max! its like she try to be the man when there is already a man! i mean we are still trying to work things out
 
D

desparate123

Guest
#11
#11
joe 05
i pray God delivers you from the spirit of LUST.... as i see in.
the bible says LOVE your wife...
thats your wife so you better pray God gives you the love
am also praying for you.
keep reading the bible. God is faithful he will help you overcome the spirit of lust. please dont entertain it
 
3

38miles

Guest
#12
#12
joe05 said:
she doesn't want to see a ccounselor
Click to expand...

joe05 -- You need to see a counselor on your own. You need to be discipled in biblical manhood and understand your identity in Christ. God designed this so Christ's identity will flow through you and into your wife and family.

Read Ephesians 5:25-29,
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church."

joe05, your heart's transformation will cleanse and satisfy your wife. If your heart is in fantasy land right now, you need to go to work. I know what it is like to be on the fence and you are there, but getting off it is the decision God wants you to make. Will you train to be the warrior husband Jesus Christ calls you to be?

I see a biblical counselor. I also am involved with mens' groups that employ the principle that "iron sharpens iron". Pick up your sword brother...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.