L
I have been married for 7 years and the marriage has been full of thorns (planted by me). I'm so confused, frustrated, angry, scared so much that sometimes I just want to run away from it all. If it wasn't for my beautiful girls I would have long committed suicide.
From the beginning the marriage was bound to fail; who falls in love with another man barely a year after her wedding. I have cheated (which he doesn't know about - i think) and almost cheated (which he knows about). I did all these because I felt that my husband was mistreating me and if you asked me if he really did I would say I don't know because deep down I know he is a very good man. I know I love him but I can't feel it anymore. I'm always angry with him for no apparent reason. I'm in love with another man (not the same man that I fell in love after i just got married), this is the first boy I ever fell in love with when I was just 14. Please pray for me so that the Lord can break the chains of lust that are binding me. Deep down i know that it is lust that is causing all this and I wish with all my heart that God could help me love and respect my husband like I used to.
Another thing is I want to go back to the way I used to be; a God fearing and praying wife. I don't pray anymore because I've always told myself that I can not sin and kneel before God. I don't go to church anymore, it bothers me but I just can't. The thought of going to church and praying scares me, I would literally get frightened when I was about to kneel and pray so I just stopped. Please pray for me so that the Lord can release me from the bondage of sin and that I can be His servant again.
If you just read this and felt confused that is how confused I am and if you read this and you didn't find it complicated at all, my marriage/life is probably not as complicated as I think. I know prayer can help me get out these situations.
From the beginning the marriage was bound to fail; who falls in love with another man barely a year after her wedding. I have cheated (which he doesn't know about - i think) and almost cheated (which he knows about). I did all these because I felt that my husband was mistreating me and if you asked me if he really did I would say I don't know because deep down I know he is a very good man. I know I love him but I can't feel it anymore. I'm always angry with him for no apparent reason. I'm in love with another man (not the same man that I fell in love after i just got married), this is the first boy I ever fell in love with when I was just 14. Please pray for me so that the Lord can break the chains of lust that are binding me. Deep down i know that it is lust that is causing all this and I wish with all my heart that God could help me love and respect my husband like I used to.
Another thing is I want to go back to the way I used to be; a God fearing and praying wife. I don't pray anymore because I've always told myself that I can not sin and kneel before God. I don't go to church anymore, it bothers me but I just can't. The thought of going to church and praying scares me, I would literally get frightened when I was about to kneel and pray so I just stopped. Please pray for me so that the Lord can release me from the bondage of sin and that I can be His servant again.
If you just read this and felt confused that is how confused I am and if you read this and you didn't find it complicated at all, my marriage/life is probably not as complicated as I think. I know prayer can help me get out these situations.