I have not lost a child but i did lose a sister while in my teens and she was in her early
twenties. The day that she got married and as the evening drew to an end, she and her
new husband were packing up to leave since his job was 5 hours away. I cried and I
cried and couldn't stop and nothing anyone did helped, nor was I asking for any because
it was too deep inside me to have words ease soothe the emotion. As it turned out, I
got to go seem them pretty often and life for me became more normal. One day some
3 years later the phone rang and one of my other sisters told my mom on the phone that
we needed to come right away because our younger sister was seriously ill. It turned out
she had cancer and within the week she had died. At that time, I had no tears it was more
like I had swallowed a big rock and I could move or think beyond that taking up all of my
energy. Day by day that eased and my emotions became normal again. I cried but not the
tears I once did; it was almost like those early tears were a prelude to what was to come.
It took days, weeks, months and years for the pain to diminish. Many years later, when my
parents died, I began with the same emotional experience. They were in their eighties and
they died pretty close in time to each other. I appreciate people trying to help when they say
well they had a good life and it was their time and so on, what else can they say. So in all 3
of those cases, it was like a pain register starting at a hundred and working down to much less,
it takes time. In my experience only time took away the hurt and took years but eventually it
does subside. It's been over fifty years since my sister died and while I don't think of her every
day, the feelings come but not as intense and not as often. So reflecting on my own story I
believe that if I hadn't loved, I would not have cried. So it only reaffirmed the love I had for
my sister and parents. So from reading your story, I can just imagine the amount of love you
had for her. Cry when you need to, smile when you need to but never regret your tears cuz
they help you through the process. And there is no time limit for these things. God bless you.