Marriage advice

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Connie1976

Guest
#1
#1
My husband and I have been together for almost 8 years - married for almosy 6. We are going through difficult financial times right now. I lost my job and my husband is in the middle of changing jobs himself. Our personal home based business is struggling, causing more financial stress. He was out of town for work last week and when I was talking to him on the phone he said he wanted a divorce. I knew he was stressed - but I had no idea he would ever even think of getting a divorce. When he got home the next day I tried talking to him through my tears. He just stared at me and told me he didn't love me anymore and he was tired of trying. I asked him if we could go to counseling - but he said why should he bother trying to fall in love with me again when he knows it won't happen. We have two children together - and he loves them dearly. Just two weeks ago he was still saying he loved me and kissing me hello, goodbye, and good night. I don't know if I need advice so much, but I'm definitely asking for prayers. I know he is struggling and hurting....I just pray that God can help us through. I have never loved a man as much as I do my husband and I believe we were meant to spend forever together. Please pray for us. Thank you.
 
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Mammachickadee

Guest
#2
#2
Wonder what happened in those two weeks to change everything.
It would seem he's struggling, as so many do, with not having the freedom he wants to do what he wants. Whether it's family demands, business stress, or financial burdens the devil has fed him the lie that the world owes him something that he can do ANYTHING he wants to claim it. He may be at the point in his life where he feels he should be more established and settled, and seeing your finances in disarray makes him feel like a failure. If he brings papers for you to sign, simply don't sign them since he doesn't seem to have done anything to warrant being released. The Bible says that if your husband is an unbeliever you need to let him go... Is he a believer? If he is, rest assured the Lord will get to him one way or another. It must hurt to be so strong for him for so long only to hear that HE is the one that wants a divorce.
If he's a practical man, remind him that it costs a man more to live divorced than to stay married. If he leaves he will be paying court-mandated child support; a fair chunk of spousals maintenance; separate living accommodations; childcare; groceries; utilities; internet; separate medical, dental, and vision; He will either have to sell his car and split the proceeds or he will have to give you the money for a car of equal value; he could be responsible for half or all attorney costs; and he will be more in bondage to his finances than he would be if he just stayed home and kept the family together. If most men in lower-income situations knew even a fraction of the costs involved they would never want to wimp out on marriage.
If it does come to divorce, don't back down an inch. You are the mother of children and gave him 6 great years of marriage. If he is a believer and wants to duke it out in court, TAKE HIM FOR ALL YOU CAN. God said you had to love him... not give him his way when he is living in sin. It's not malice... it's responsibility. Trust me... he will regret ever even considering divorce, not just from you but from anyone who committed her life to him. God can still use you to be the greatest human influence in that man's life... and you can still be gracious and loving in the process. Just stick to biblical principles.
 
santuzza

santuzza

Senior Member
#3
Feb 12, 2013
1,609
38
48
#3
I'm so sorry you are going through this, and I will definitely pray.

In the meantime, whether your husband wants to go or not, you should seek Christian counseling. It will help you sort out all the feelings you're going through.

Are you both Christians? If so, I would get your church leadership involved. Perhaps a pastor or some elders can talk to him and convince him that breaking the marriage covenant is a sin and hopefully bring him to repentance.
 
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eddie1801

Senior Member
#4
Jun 9, 2013
127
1
0
#4
I will be praying for you. I am unsure if your husband is a Christian or not. Praying for comfort, healing, discernment, and revelation for you. The bible says ask and it shall be given, seek and ye shall find. Father, we are praying today to give this lady her marriage back in Jesus name. Amen
 
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