marwage, what bwings us togeatha today....

[shalompetra]

First off who knows what movie the title is from?
So anyway. I am looking for the future mrs. Me, i have for the first time tried to find someone at church instead of the world and have found them more judgmental of my prodigal past than women in the world! Whats up with that? How am i to find a good christian wife when the available christian women i meet cant see past the mistakes ive made prior to returning to God?



Would you give me a chance?
Yes
No

 

[AAAPlus]

I want to say it's from The Princess Bride...

Anyway, I kinda know the feel. When I came to church, it was from a rather shaky past. I'm not a convicted criminal, but compared to most of the folks at my church who were raised either homeschooled or incredibly sheltered, it was a big deal.

You've really just got to establish a presence there. Yes, part of it is that many modern-day church-goers don't really know how to deal with someone with a past. But a bigger part of it is that people see folks all the time who have decided to "repent" and then soon turn back to their old ways. The point is...they just aren't sure yet. If they see you serving with them on community outreach days and doing other things (helping set up, worship team, ushering, etc) they will see you as more a part of the community. Then when you meet a girl, she'll already have the first impression of you as a decent, God-loving guy and then admire that you have overcome so much adversity.

Just stick with it. Don't dwell on your past, and others won't either. =)

 

[Nautilus]

Its definitely The Princess Bride. As far for an ex-con it all depends what they did. But then i dont think me and you would be a good match. Maybe a female should respond haha

 

[shalompetra]

As far as having a preasence there...i am known maybe too well, my grandmother has been a member since the mid 80s and i did volunteer for quite some time. Was even part of a home group. When i asked out a girl, she cimplained ti the leadership. I was told i didnt do anything wrong but then asked to leave the group. I wasnt told exactly who made the complaint so now when im at church i feel like i have to avoid all the females to avoid any repeats of the complaints. Then they wonder why i dont go as often anymore.

 

[AAAPlus]

Hmmm...that's strange that a girl would complain to the leadership about something like that, unless you were like asking a college or high school girl or something.

In any case, girls talk, and you may just be better off finding another church to establish a presence at. If for nothing else, at least you'll have peace of mind that there aren't weird rumors going around.

 

[lil_christian]

First off who knows what movie the title is from?
So anyway. I am looking for the future mrs. Me, i have for the first time tried to find someone at church instead of the world and have found them more judgmental of my prodigal past than women in the world! Whats up with that? How am i to find a good christian wife when the available christian women i meet cant see past the mistakes ive made prior to returning to God?



Would you give me a chance?
Yes
No

Liked the post because the title is awesome I saw that movie and looved it!!

 

[shalompetra]

Yea they said she had some issues

 

[Ugly]

I think the reason you're having trouble is that the church seems to have a misguided idea on what women should expect in a man. Women are taught they are princesses to be fawned over and nearly worshiped by their 'virgin til marriage, never smoked, drank, did drugs, college grad, big money making, always happy, always loving, always supportive, mind reading husband'. And anything less is less than God's will.

Its like a friend told me, she knew a women who was picked up for a date, he came to the door to get her. When they walked back to the car he got in, and she stood there, wordlessly, waiting for him to open her door. He just sat there, no clue what she was expecting of him, then she just walked off and went back inside without explanation. That could of been the ideal man. But she so expected to be treated so well, that something as small as not opening a car door meant he was not good enough. She never even got to know the guy over one minor act.
Also, she never communicated her expectations, she expected he should 'just know'. Another example of wrong thinking.

The tricky part is finding a girl who can communicate what she wants, has reasonable expectations, does expect to be treated well but without the princess mentality. They're out there, just have to dig around sometimes.

 

[Jullianna]

Most christian ladies are more comfortable being friends first, as are a lot of christian guys. They want to know that your walk with the Lord is real. This is probably more true if people there have known you for a long time and know your past.

There are others on CC who have made mistakes, turned their lives around and developed amazing relationships, but it doesn't happen overnight. Hang in there and be as patient with other believers as you'd like them to be with you.

God bless and welcome to CC

 

[AAAPlus]

I think the reason you're having trouble is that the church seems to have a misguided idea on what women should expect in a man. Women are taught they are princesses to be fawned over and nearly worshiped by their 'virgin til marriage, never smoked, drank, did drugs, college grad, big money making, always happy, always loving, always supportive, mind reading husband'. And anything less is less than God's will.

Its like a friend told me, she knew a women who was picked up for a date, he came to the door to get her. When they walked back to the car he got in, and she stood there, wordlessly, waiting for him to open her door. He just sat there, no clue what she was expecting of him, then she just walked off and went back inside without explanation. That could of been the ideal man. But she so expected to be treated so well, that something as small as not opening a car door meant he was not good enough. She never even got to know the guy over one minor act.
Also, she never communicated her expectations, she expected he should 'just know'. Another example of wrong thinking.

The tricky part is finding a girl who can communicate what she wants, has reasonable expectations, does expect to be treated well but without the princess mentality. They're out there, just have to dig around sometimes.

This post should be required reading, monthly, for all single Christian girls.

 

[shalompetra]

They do seem to have an unrealistc expectation. And befor i get angry responces from the women. Men also tend to have unrealistic expectations.if we would all accept our imperfections we could be amazed at the viab,e mates we can find.