Molestion

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Tinker

Guest
#1
#1
Hi. My name is Stacey and I'm 19 years old. I need some help badly. When I was 12, I was molested and almost raped. Does that have anything to do with relationships not wanting to work? Does it affect your mind in ways that when your boyfriend wants to cuddle and you really don't want to? Does it affect your sexual characteristics when you want to have sex? Please somebody help.
 
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#2
#2
Everyone deals with things in their own way. For some it may be exactly what you described. For others it could be the opposite. Im really sorry that happened to you! Any type of sexual trama is going to make an impact on your life, especially if it has to do with having sex or being touched. So i would say that your reaction to these things is normal.. considering what you have been through
 
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Frizzy

Guest
#3
#3
Hi... I am really sorry you had to go through that hun. It can affect your relationships, it is true. I have been through similar things, and can understand how it might be hard it can be to overcome those feelings, so feel free to pm me any time if you need to talk :)
 
Planetshaker

Planetshaker

Member
#4
Nov 30, 2009
75
2
8
33
#4
hey Stacey,
firstly I'm so sorry this happening to you, its a horrible thing to have to go through and unfortunately it can have a negative effect on how you react with people or in a relationship your in. The main thing is to deal with it, speak to someone about it, pray about it - it's definately not something that can be fixed or overcome over night but it takes time and growth.
Remember it's not your fault nor is it something to be ashamed of, do not let anyone try and talk u into doing something you dont want to do or that your not ready to do.
You will overcome this :) if you need someone to talk to feel free to give me a holla,
God bless you sweety xo
 
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Tinker

Guest
#5
#5
Thanks yall
 
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machew

Guest
#6
#6
Tinker said:
Hi. My name is Stacey and I'm 19 years old. I need some help badly. When I was 12, I was molested and almost raped. Does that have anything to do with relationships not wanting to work? Does it affect your mind in ways that when your boyfriend wants to cuddle and you really don't want to? Does it affect your sexual characteristics when you want to have sex? Please somebody help.
Click to expand...
Hi Stacey,

This can effect you more than you are even aware of. I think the reason you are uncomfortable when people get close to you is because of the understandable fear that you obtained from your terrible experience. When you go through something like that, it is extremely difficult to trust that people won't abuse intimate contact with you again.

I think the best thing to do right now is to ask God how this negative experience effected the way you relate to people, and invite Him to come in and heal the emotional wounds that you got from it. God will want to free you from the fear that you have. Also, ask God to get rid of unsafe people in your life, and surround you with people that are safe and won't abuse it when you allow intimate contact in your relationship with them. Once you have safe people around you, then you can figure out where your boundaries truly should be.

I'll be praying for you!

Much Love,

Machew
 
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Tisha

Guest
#7
#7
Ok I really don't know how to start out but I guess I will just go for it.

I was molested by my second step dad and it happened 4 other times with 4 other men in my life. The first time it happened was when I was 5 the last time it happened was when I was 14 or 15 and I'm almost 21 now.

As far as it affecting your relationships with other males or making them not work just depends. Some girls that are molested grow up to be very sexual promiscious and some don't.

For me I found it very hard to be close to any male in my life. Not just males who were my age but also males who were friends of my grandparents or males who were in my life at any point. I still to this day have issues with trusting males and try to avoid being around one alone.

But there is a bright side to my story. I did meet a guy 2 monthes before my 16th birthday and started dating him and on aug 20th 2008 I married that wonderful guy so this aug we have been together for 5 yrs and married for 2. He was my first love and he treated me with the respect I deserved. When we started dating I explained to him what had happened to me before I met him and he understood he never tried to do anything with me because he wanted me to finally feel safe. Just so u know i'm tearing up writing this because I realize how lucky I am.

But anyways I just want you to know that there are guys out there that will respect you and not push you to do anything you don't want to and if he does hes not the right one. The only advice I have for you is to trust that God will help you through this and that he will send you a guy that will respect you and make it easier for you. Also when you start dating a guy try to go on double dates or have like a game night with friends and invite him so u can build the relationship slower and things won't seem to get to fast.

BTW my husband is still the only guy I trust completely.

Tisha

p.s. You can message me anytime. I will try my best to help you out.
 
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Tisha

Guest
#8
#8
Feel free to message me anytime and I will do my best to help you out if you have any question or advice or just need someone to talk to.

Something I forgot to mention was with my husband we started out with our dates being him coming to my house with my grandparents there and watching t.v. or movies with him in the living room with my sis and grandparents and when he would get ready to leave I would walk him to his car and say goodbye. He did that every sat for 10-11 monthes . After that I was allowed to actually go out places with him and actually date but with my twin as kind of a chaparone and he would pay for her dinner and her ticket to a movie. He would even buy her stuff so she wouldn't feel left out like for valentines day, our bday, or Christmas. After a while of doing that I was allowed to go out with him by myself. So our relationship built slowly and I think because of all of the rules I had set for dating that it made it easier to actually get to know him and build a trusting and loving relationship with him.

My advice would be the next time u start dating try starting out with double dates or activitys that include a group of friends. you could have game night and invite him.

Tisha

P.S. Sorry for the repeat of some things I thought some of my last message got cut off so thats why I repeated My bad lol
 
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