Mothers

[tenderhearted]

I wanted to encourage moms today and let them know how awesome they are! I'm normally the mom feeling exhausted--flat on my face asking God to please help me because I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm not always so confident in my mothering. I'm encouraged by the fact that my kids love me. My hope is that if my kids don't remember anything I've said, that at least they remember I tried to teach and imitate Jesus.

A couple of weeks ago I was on a plane ride and this mother sitting across from me was struggling to get her boys to settle down. They made this huge scene... I could tell this mother looked mortified and I wanted to console her, but she looked like she wanted to hide in a cave. All I could do was pray for her. Then later she pulled out a Joel Osteen book titled, Every day a Friday. I felt like God was showing me this woman felt overwhelmed.

Then the other day I was at the grocery store and I saw a mother come in with her two children--they were probably 3 and 4 yrs old. and while she was wiping the shopping cart down, she looked exhausted and irritable. It looked like she needed the assurance that everything was going to be OK. God's been showing me how much prayer and encouragement we mothers need. Mothers need to know that they are doing a good job. Everyday doesn't have to be a perfect. Thank God for praying moms. Next time you see a mom encourage them.

 

[VioletReigns]

When I was a young mother, our church had a ladies group that was a true family to one another. We held bridal showers and baby showers in the church for the young women. We also took turns babysitting once a month so we all had a date night with our husband at least once a month. The best thing of all is when a sister was discouraged, the ladies would organize a day of rest for her. Someone would take her children to the park for the day, another sister or two would do all her housekeeping and laundry, and another sister would cook a wonderful dinner so she wouldn't have to cook that evening. And of course, they'd offer a shoulder to cry on and pray with you. It sure was wonderful to give and receive that great gift!

 

[FridaysChild]

When I was a young mother, our church had a ladies group that was a true family to one another. We held bridal showers and baby showers in the church for the young women. We also took turns babysitting once a month so we all had a date night with our husband at least once a month. The best thing of all is when a sister was discouraged, the ladies would organize a day of rest for her. Someone would take her children to the park for the day, another sister or two would do all her housekeeping and laundry, and another sister would cook a wonderful dinner so she wouldn't have to cook that evening. And of course, they'd offer a shoulder to cry on and pray with you. It sure was wonderful to give and receive that great gift!

Now there's a REAL dream. I mean that in a positive way like WoW don't we all wish it could be so beautiful.

I've only experienced one group of people who were so welcoming. Not so near as helpful as what you describe but they were so loving, caring, and inclusive. I miss them so very much and think about them from time to time. That was way back in the early 80s. I've never encountered such love like that again.

 

[VioletReigns]

Now there's a REAL dream. I mean that in a positive way like WoW don't we all wish it could be so beautiful.

I've only experienced one group of people who were so welcoming. Not so near as helpful as what you describe but they were so loving, caring, and inclusive. I miss them so very much and think about them from time to time. That was way back in the early 80s. I've never encountered such love like that again.

Yes Sister FridaysChild, this was back in the 80's, too. Perhaps we as older women should encourage and teach the younger women what an awesome resource that could be for them, to start a ladies group for mothers, ya know? And now that I think of it, why should it stop at motherhood? Grandmommies are people, too. ROFL!!

Really, I suppose the whole church body should be giving gifts of encouragement like that to each other: young & old, male & female, single & married.

 

[JustAnotherUser]

Here's to all single moms out there.

It may or may not be unfortunate as to why you're a single mother, but you are heroes for being able to take on the tasks and become both parents in your childrens lives while making so many sacrifices in the process. You may feel unappreciated or at times looked down on, but you really need to pat yourselves on the back and know that you're doing a job that not everyone is capable of doing, and you're doing it out of love. Kudos to you.

 

[tenderhearted]

For the moms here who've raised children what helpful advice could you offer us younger moms? If you could share one thing you've learned what would it be? I love learning from the wise!

 

[purpose]

I Will Be a very New Mother ! My Lillian Is Due in May! With Mothers Day so close! I am nervous. Yet Waiting very patiently for her Arrival. Any Advice would be deeply appreciated!

 

[Angela53510]

Discipline your children from the time they are young - 4 to 6 months. It doesn't mean hitting them, it means laying down the rules and enforcing them. I see too many young moms who somehow think that you have to wait till a child is 5 before you start setting limits and boundaries.

My 3 youngest were raised this way. I never had to worry about them behaving in public. They sat nicely in church. They were eager to learn. They are all very well adjusted with happy homes and marriages today.

Also, get the father involved with both discipline and child care. A father is a wonderful example, and they are loving and caring. The father's job is NOT just to bring home money, but to train up the child in the way s/he should go. They need to change diapers, help with feeding and all the rest. Especially if the mother is also working to bring in money.

The goal is to raise children who internalize the rules at a young age. Rather than having them be subject to external rules when they are passed the point of wanting to learn how to behave. I know there are special needs children who might be the exception to this, but any normal child needs to learn to listen and to know what is expected of him for behaviour.

And finally, love your kids all the time, no matter what they do. Unconditional love is vital for any mom who wants to raise children who not only are happy, but serving God.

 

[psychomom]

For the moms here who've raised children what helpful advice could you offer us younger moms? If you could share one thing you've learned what would it be? I love learning from the wise!

oh, did you say wise? perhaps this excludes me.

i was talking recently with a 34 yo woman who was our oldest's bestie when they were children.
she now has four of her own, ranging from 7 months to ten years in age.
we were speaking of the importance of going to your kiddos to say,
mommy was wrong. mommy sinned against you. please will you forgive me?

and Kate, in the wisdom God has given her said,
if our kids don't see how we need Jesus, how will they know they need Jesus? ♥

sometimes we get so caught up in 'being the mom', we forget we are humans and so are our kiddos.
but that was some great wisdom from a mom still down in the trenches with little ones.

 

[sassylady]

I agree, start them very young in learning about the Lord.

It doesn't matter if the house isn't neat and clean or you have gourmet meals on the table, the children are first before all that. So don't feel guilty about not being a super mom. You are one anyway because you are a mom.

I used to make lists each day of what I needed to get done. I did the things first that absolutely had to be done, and didn't stress about the other stuff. But if I got to those things it was a bonus.

Make time for fun. My husband (now ex) was a truck driver and once a month we had an evening where we moved back the coffee table and recliner and put the sleeping bags on the floor and had popcorn, etc. and stayed up super late, watched videos and had fun and then slept in. We called it our campout. That was our special fun night and the kids are grown and still talk about that.

Sometimes when children get fussy in a store their blood sugar may be too low. Always have something with you for them to eat or drink.

I always tried to find a method of discipline that taught a lesson rather than a punishment. One day my son was being so super critical of one of his sisters that I made him sit in a chair and think of 3 good things about her. It took him an hour but he did, and afterward I told him to focus on what was good. Then next time the situation happened I did the same thing but he had to think of three different things. It surprised him how many good traits his sister had even despite the thing that was bothering him.

 

[MarcR]

Discipline your children from the time they are young - 4 to 6 months. It doesn't mean hitting them, it means laying down the rules and enforcing them. I see too many young moms who somehow think that you have to wait till a child is 5 before you start setting limits and boundaries.

My 3 youngest were raised this way. I never had to worry about them behaving in public. They sat nicely in church. They were eager to learn. They are all very well adjusted with happy homes and marriages today.

Also, get the father involved with both discipline and child care. A father is a wonderful example, and they are loving and caring. The father's job is NOT just to bring home money, but to train up the child in the way s/he should go. They need to change diapers, help with feeding and all the rest. Especially if the mother is also working to bring in money.

The goal is to raise children who internalize the rules at a young age. Rather than having them be subject to external rules when they are passed the point of wanting to learn how to behave. I know there are special needs children who might be the exception to this, but any normal child needs to learn to listen and to know what is expected of him for behaviour.

And finally, love your kids all the time, no matter what they do. Unconditional love is vital for any mom who wants to raise children who not only are happy, but serving God.

When fathers do care for their children directly; they soon learn that it is more a privilege than a chore.

 

[Joidevivre]

When my 5 children (all born in 7 years) were growing up, being a working mother caused me to neglect them in so many ways. I didn't always take the one on one time to listen to their days. I was going through so many problems in my marriage at that time, the children were not number one priority. And I was very young - not prepared to deal with all the noise, fighting and needs of each one of them. And getting them all ready for church before it started caused me to quit taking them to church.
Not a good role model!

So later in life when I went to a Mother's Day luncheon and they were going to announce the Mother of the Year, I joked about it quietly to those at my table. I said "That could never be me". "They will pick someone whose kids have been in church all their life, or she takes in foster kids, or she has worked with kids in some way."

Imagine my surprise when my name was announced! They chose me because of a letter my son sent to them telling them why he thought I should be picked. The letter didn't talk about what a good mother I was. It basically said that I had taught him to depend on Jesus.

Now they are all grown up and I just could not be loved more! They are all Christians and that must be the great power behind their love for me.