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soo heres my testimany i guess..
I grew up in a non- christian home and my parents Got Divorced when i was 3. Both my mom and dad re-married. my dad married my stepmom who i don't get along with... and my mom married a drunk... when i was about 9 years old my step-dad started verbally abusing my mother and I. At the time my mom my sister my brother and I were all living together, but for some reason my mom and i got the abuse the most. As i became a teenager the pain of my parents divorce really hit me... i was really confused and didn't quite understand why my daddy left me.. and thought it was all my fault. I got really angry at everyone... and would take out my anger in any way that i could.. destructive or not i didn't care. i got into fist fights.. with friends and even my family... and even chased my mom with a knife... i look back and i really regret how i treated my mom... i was diagnosed with ADHD.. was put on medication that turned my anger into depression...On august 17th 2003 i moved in with my father becasue my mom coulden't handle me any more... which made me even more depressed... i had no friends.. and absolutely no self confidence... that year i finished the 8th grade... as i moved into highschool i got in with the wrong croud... i was defiant... and knew it.... and I didn't care... in the 10th grade.. i started taking it out on my dad... big mistake... my dad gave it right back... thats the year he started hitting me...I kept it all inside.. the emotions growing and growing and growing until i coulden't handel my life any more... i wanted it OVER... i started cutting.. then carving... my pain was released by blood on a rasor blade.. i was put into a suicide watch group at my highschool... i tried to end my life many times... but never went through with it... between the years i was a sophmore-junior.. i was thrown down stairs .. hallways.... had my life thretend by my father and wanted to die... throught highschool i was invited to youth group many times.. altough i had beed "saved" at 12... i deffinatley wasn't living it...as u can tell....I went with a friend to a teen youth confrence.. and God slapped me in the face ... i truely felt the presance of God.. and was amaised at how someone could love me so much...even when i didn't love me...and felt like no one else did... i layed everyhting down at his feet... took the leap off the cliff... only to be cought in his Loving arms on the other side... and my lifes never been the same... I LOVE my life... althouugh my father and I don't talk much...and still struggle with my self confidence a little bit.. i know that Jesus loves me more than i could ever imagine...He has an amaizing plan for my life... and Loves me no matter what.. I owe him my life....he gave his for me...I love serving the Lord...There's a fire in Me i don't ever want to go out... i thank Him every day for saving me...because i did nothing to deserve it... LOVE MY JESUS.....
I grew up in a non- christian home and my parents Got Divorced when i was 3. Both my mom and dad re-married. my dad married my stepmom who i don't get along with... and my mom married a drunk... when i was about 9 years old my step-dad started verbally abusing my mother and I. At the time my mom my sister my brother and I were all living together, but for some reason my mom and i got the abuse the most. As i became a teenager the pain of my parents divorce really hit me... i was really confused and didn't quite understand why my daddy left me.. and thought it was all my fault. I got really angry at everyone... and would take out my anger in any way that i could.. destructive or not i didn't care. i got into fist fights.. with friends and even my family... and even chased my mom with a knife... i look back and i really regret how i treated my mom... i was diagnosed with ADHD.. was put on medication that turned my anger into depression...On august 17th 2003 i moved in with my father becasue my mom coulden't handle me any more... which made me even more depressed... i had no friends.. and absolutely no self confidence... that year i finished the 8th grade... as i moved into highschool i got in with the wrong croud... i was defiant... and knew it.... and I didn't care... in the 10th grade.. i started taking it out on my dad... big mistake... my dad gave it right back... thats the year he started hitting me...I kept it all inside.. the emotions growing and growing and growing until i coulden't handel my life any more... i wanted it OVER... i started cutting.. then carving... my pain was released by blood on a rasor blade.. i was put into a suicide watch group at my highschool... i tried to end my life many times... but never went through with it... between the years i was a sophmore-junior.. i was thrown down stairs .. hallways.... had my life thretend by my father and wanted to die... throught highschool i was invited to youth group many times.. altough i had beed "saved" at 12... i deffinatley wasn't living it...as u can tell....I went with a friend to a teen youth confrence.. and God slapped me in the face ... i truely felt the presance of God.. and was amaised at how someone could love me so much...even when i didn't love me...and felt like no one else did... i layed everyhting down at his feet... took the leap off the cliff... only to be cought in his Loving arms on the other side... and my lifes never been the same... I LOVE my life... althouugh my father and I don't talk much...and still struggle with my self confidence a little bit.. i know that Jesus loves me more than i could ever imagine...He has an amaizing plan for my life... and Loves me no matter what.. I owe him my life....he gave his for me...I love serving the Lord...There's a fire in Me i don't ever want to go out... i thank Him every day for saving me...because i did nothing to deserve it... LOVE MY JESUS.....
